Tattoos in History, the American Culture and the Church

A Brief History on my own choice to tattoo                       

Let me preface this topic in stating that I hold no bias in this matter. I do have both arms covered in sleeves and other tattoos as well. I was saved but mostly backslidden when I had gotten most of my work done. Much of the work was completed after I re-dedicated my life to the Lord as well. Personally, I do not feel conviction in this area lest the artwork rendered was purposefully evil. Though I certainly don’t condone or encourage receiving a tattoo but I neither condemn it. Many days I do long for the good ol’ skin the Lord gave me but without the funds for complete removal I’m stuck with them. This is also partially the reason behind the sleeves, which is to “affordably” cover the old ones.

Upon covering the old ones with the new sleeves, I’d decided to do a Chinese motif on my right arm because of my interest in the culture and art. Symbolically it represents my early testimony minus a few symbols that I must alter in the future do to their Buddhist meanings that I was unaware of.

On my left arm is a yet to be completed city scene of Armageddon along with scripture references. This one is purely because of my love of Eschatology and the study Biblical prophecy. This one was also designed in an effort to stimulate conversation leading to Jesus.

The Lord has turned my ink into an amazing ministry tool. Most every day I’m asked about them. They’ve been a great conversation starter and I always steer the chat from there to Jesus and because of that many have come to Christ. He’s used me as a secret weapon placing me in the Lion’s den if you will.

The reason for such extremity is a multi-faceted creature. It simply began with the desire to cover some homemade ones I had gotten when I was a young teen. I had grown up loving art and I’d always had an extreme edge in everything I did. Still do. I’m very thankful that the Lord has revealed to me my path in missions at this juncture of life. It takes an extreme spirit I believe, for this line of ministry, especially in an extremely under populated field of ministry.

The Origin of the Tattoo

Kings and commoners. Sailors and prisoners. Tribesmen and sweethearts. All have shared one thing: the art of the tattoo.

Evidence from ancient Egypt, Greenland, Siberia, and New Zealand shows how truly global the tattooer's art is — and how old. In fact, tattooing had existed for thousands of years before England's Captain Cook encountered it in the South Pacific in 1769. Merchant and naval seamen soon spread the art to Europe and America. But while its meaning has varied from people to people and from place to place, tattooing has most often served as a sign of social status, as a mark of one's passage through life, or simply as a way to beautify the body.

Once regarded in the West as frightening and repulsive, the tattoo has enjoyed great popularity in our own culture in recent years. Everywhere we look today — movies, advertisements, television-are signs that people of all walks of life appreciate and practice the art of the tattoo

Believe it or not, some scientists say that certain marks on the skin of the Iceman, a mummified human body dating from about 3300 B.C., are tattoos. If that’s true, these markings represent the earliest known evidence of the practice. Tattoos found on Egyptian and Nubian mummies date from about 2000 B.C., and classical authors mention the use of tattoos in connection with Greeks, ancient Germans, Gauls, Thracians and ancient Britons.

Tattooing was rediscovered by Europeans when exploration brought them into contact with Polynesians and American Indians. The word tattoo comes from the Tahitian word tattau, which means "to mark," and was first mentioned in explorer James Cook’s records from his 1769 expedition to the South Pacific. Because tattoos were considered so exotic in European and U.S. societies, tattooed Indians and Polynesians drew crowds at circuses and fairs during the 18th and 19th centuries.

Tribal Cultures

Ritual and tradition have been common and constant factors in tattooing. In Borneo, for example, women bore a symbol on their arms to denote their specific skills, thus increasing their potential for marriage, whilst tattoos worn around the fingers and wrist were said to ward off illness. Clan or society membership have also often been symbolized by tattoos throughout history. It has also been believed that the wearer of an image calls the spirit of that image. For example, the ferocity of a tiger would belong to the person baring this tattoo.

Although controversial, many believe tattooing originates in Egypt, from the time of the Pharaohs and the construction of the Great Pyramids. As the Egyptian Empire spread, so did the art of tattooing and around 2000 BC it reached China.

In ancient Greece, the tattoo was used to mark spies while the Romans used the tattoo to mark slaves and criminals. In western Asia, the Ainu people used tattoos to signify social status. The Ainu were said to have carried the art to Japan where is became a mark of religion. Dayak warriors who had 'taken a head' were signified by a tattoo on the hand. The Polynesians employed tattoos to denote status, tribal communities and rank. They carried this art to New Zealand where a facial tattoo, Moko, was developed. The Danes, Saxons and Norse were often tattooed with their family crest.

Multi- Cultural Meanings

The practice of tattooing means different things in different cultures. In early practice, decoration appears to have been the most common motive for tattooing, and that still holds true today. In some cultures, tattoos served as identification of the wearer’s rank or status in a group. For example, the early Romans tattooed slaves and criminals. Tahitian tattoos served as rites of passage, telling the history of the wearer’s life. Boys reaching manhood received one tattoo to mark the occasion, while men had another style done when they married. Sailors traveling to exotic foreign lands began to collect tattoos as souvenirs of their journeys (a dragon showed that the seaman had served on a China station), and tattoo parlors sprang up in port cities around the globe.

The Changing Cultural Status of the Tattoo in America

The cultural status of tattooing has steadily evolved from that of an anti-social activity in the 1960s to that of a trendy fashion statement in the 1990s. First adopted and flaunted by influential rock stars like the Rolling Stones in the early 1970s, tattooing had, by the late 1980s, become accepted by ever broader segments of mainstream society. Today, tattoos are routinely seen on rock stars, professional sports figures, ice skating champions, fashion models, movie stars and other public figures who play a significant role in setting the culture's contemporary mores and behavior patterns.

During the last fifteen years, two distinct classes of tattoo business have emerged. The first is the "tattoo parlor" that glories in a sense of urban outlaw culture; advertises itself with garish exterior signage; offers "pictures-off-the-wall" assembly-line service; and often operates with less than optimum sanitary procedures.

The second is the "tattoo art studio" that most frequently features custom, fine art design; the ambiance of an upscale beauty salon; marketing campaigns aimed at middle- and upper middle-class professionals; and "by-appointment" services only. Today's fine art tattoo studio draws the same kind of clientele as a custom jewelry store, fashion boutique, or high-end antique shop.

The market demographics for tattoo services are now skewed heavily toward mainstream customers. Tattooing today is the sixth-fastest-growing retail business in the United States.

The single fastest growing demographic group seeking tattoo services is, to the surprise of many, middle-class suburban women.

Views on Tattoos in the Church and When it Becomes Sin

Tattoos have become the norm and are gaining great acceptance in the community, workplace and the church. The church? Yes, the church! Tattoos are no respecter of person. Some people preached and teach that if you get a tattoo, you are going to hell. However, is that theology true? Compared to getting a tattoo before giving your life to Christ, should a person only receive harsh reproach for getting a tattoo after they commit their life to Christ? The bible says, “Do not cut your bodies for the dead or put tattoo marks on yourselves. I am the LORD” (Leviticus 19:28). However, in the previous verse it says, “Do not cut the hair at the sides of your head or clip off the edges of your beard” (Leviticus 19:27). What becomes the determining factor to decide which verse Christians should or should not follow? More people disobey the "hair" law compared to the "tattoo" law.

The bible says, “Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore, honor God with your body,” (1 Corinthians 6:19-20). If dishonoring your body means marking your body, then, do scars fall in the same category? Along with a tattoo, in spite of the cocoa butter treatments, a scar can become a permanent mark. Over eating, smoking, alcohol abuse and etc are forms of not bringing honor to the body, as well.

The approval ratings of tattoos are becoming a cultural decision. Getting a tattoo is not a good or bad issue. With some, the tattoo is not the problem, but the rationale behind the tattoo can be where the sin resides. At times, the actual tattoo, location and age can allow a tattoo to become opposite of a wise decision. The story behind the tattoo can contain the real problem and open the door for ministry to take place. This issue is immensely difficult, and many church leaders must take these things in regard before casting final judgment on people with tattoos. As a church, Christians should not always look at the surface problems, but look skin deep.

My Closing Thoughts regarding the most common “Christian” argument on Tattoos

My take on the most common argument according to (Leviticus 19:28) in my opinion is irrelevant today. This is provable in scripture with the simple fact alone that Leviticus 19:28 was written for the Jews who were under Mosaic and Ceremonial law in the old covenant and had literally thousands of laws they had to keep. To break one was to break them all. Two verses prior to this in 19:26 it says not to eat anything with blood. The next in 19:27 states not to shave the sides of our heads or trim our beards. The penalties for these and many other things was death.

For this argument to be valid would also mean that since we’ve gotten haircuts and have eaten meat means we should all be put to death.

It would also mean that Jesus’ coming, death on the cross for the remission of sins for those who believe in Him and confess Him as Lord (Jew and Gentile) is a complete fabrication and a lie. It would also mean that every letter written by Paul who was formerly a Jew, converted, and the deliverer of the gospel to the Gentiles and the world is also a lie and has no sway. I thank God that this is not the case!

To quote Leviticus 19:28 in this light is to completely render the Bible inaccurate and invalid which is not the case but rather the common attempts of uneducated religious zealots who still try and earn their way into heaven by works, do’s and don’ts and completely disregard faith and belief which is what no man can please the Lord without. Our faith and belief that produces fruit is what makes us righteous as it was attributed to Abraham under the old covenant in Genesis 15:6. There are things we naturally do as an outcome of faith in action that bring about our righteousness.

There are clear Biblical sins and there are things that some have convictions of and others do not. For example, I do not believe it is a sin to have a drink; therefore I have no conviction of it. I have never been an alcoholic with those tendencies but if I had been this would be a clear case of sin against my body because of former addiction. Things that are knowingly harmful for us of course are sinful because the body is the temple of the Holy Spirit. Paul says that all things are permissible but not all things are beneficial in 1 Corinthians 10:23. Also in 1 Corinthians 6:12 Paul states the same but also stating that he will not be brought under the power of anything, meaning addiction to anything other than God. We are to take care of the temple of the Lord and keep Him our one and only dependency.

As mentioned throughout, the issue of tattoos being a sin rest on personal conviction, motive, content of the tattoo and most importantly the position of the heart. Whether one had them pre- salvation or continues to get them afterword’s is one’s own prerogative and between their own convictions and the Lord. I neither condone it nor promote it. On this topic I say to each his own. Be cautious of the motive and submit your plans to the Lord. Right or wrong, He loves us and has paid for our mistakes. To be convicted and pursue is to knowingly sin against the Lord.

Bibliography

•  Origin of the Tattoo, Tribal Cultures, Multi-Cultural Meanings: www.msu.edu

•   The Changing Cultural Status of the Tattoo in America: www.tattooartist.com

•    Views on Tattoos in the Church and when it Becomes Sin: www.examiner.com

You are with Me now

Living, breathing invigoration pulsing new life into dried veins. Exploding it comes to a dry and weary landscape of spirit and flesh, overstimulated, under-spilled and analyzed to paralysis. Pondered threads of existence, layer upon layer, doctrine upon doctrine, views and beliefs poured over to the point of catharsis, producing a jaded, thinned and deconstructed substance of all things once thought, fluid state and flowing through valleys and intersections of where mind and belief cross.

A passage of time untouched by the aging, five years material yet a lifetime ethereal. Agony through bellows of gut wrenching pain of failure and fog, soul in imprisoned, cold stone in my chest once warm, life flowed from my best. Crippled, bruised, betrayed by self and def to the Sparrow, emotional motion into decay, ravaged by flesh and feeling, blind to the Day. Further towards depravity my being falls, the shock of the halt from years of war, the battle raged rages no more, thrashing within, no closure, no light, darkness.......consumed and swallowed, living death, I give it to You freely, take this wretch, I bare this no more.

Pull me from the grave of self or kill me I pray, suffer this life not one more day will I, lest for purpose. Destiny....providence...Your will alone will save, mine gone, I am depraved. Stripped of all I once knew, I am left only with bones and with You.

You’ve echoed through the ages, through dreams, visions and sages. Faithfully drawing, creation speaking, moments of epiphany in shrouded wood, breezes blowing yet miles in sight. The path ahead lies. Retraction is not an option. Death or destiny without compromise. Cessation of self- mortification, the lame walks and the dead rises. A seeking of council, re-focus, re-construct, I find in You that I am rebuilt, restored and renewed.

Plan A in Plan B’s space, new season of life I face. The call. Heavy, driven, absent and emptied, no residual me. Untainted and unpainted canvas to graze. Unfamiliar territory, the mirror reflects unfamiliar. An age passes.

Words spoken from youth returning, terminal velocity carrying vision, doors opened and doors closed, narrow and firm the path unfolds. The love of God the likes never known, blessing poured abundant over fresh fire, all once thought lost not buried in mire but beauty for ashes, authority, boldness, a transfer of power.

That which has no origin, God, transcendent of matter and volume, That from which flows order, above all that comes under, whispers transference, crackling life, corrosion falling, no longer dark night. Chaos removed through love so pure, no works can earn, no words compel, a love unconditional, saving from hell.

The air is clear, free, this soul You’ve set free my Father, my all to Thee. To You I belong, in You I’m found. Groveling, blindness and grasping in darkness, begging Lord how? Your magnificent hand extended, voice thundering in solitaire, seas of shadows split and laid bare, Your light demands entrance, Your heat on my brow, the fire ensues my bones through and through, You resound in my heart... no more will darkness befall you, despair grip you, depression break you, anxiety take you, addiction make you. It is I that drew you, I that propelled, broke and grew you. The depths that pulled at your heart, the voice screaming now, you were made for such a time as this...... I AM and fear not for you are with Me now.

What does being "in Christ" look like? By Matt Scott

This is the first entry I've been able to write in a while. The Lord has changed everything. My thought processes, writing and pretty much everything else. God is showing me many things now.For a while now I’ve had nothing to write, and that is OK. My writing will likely be coming from a different place within now. This is good, due to all the time spent recently in between semesters that I haven't been able to hear the Lord. He finds all kinds of ways to re-creat us. He makes all things new. Even burnt out Christians need that new revelation and experience.Even in such an amazing place like Christ for the Nations you can get dry and the Christian bubble can become the norm. Looks like my season of dry bones is coming to a close.

I've been in Ephesians the last few day but have stopped on chapter 4 to ponder and study. He had me stop on Ephesians 4:9-10.


9 (Now this, “He ascended”—what does it mean but that He also first descended into the lower parts of the earth? 10 He who descended is also the One who ascended far above all the heavens, that He might fill all things.)


He ascended "far above all the heavens, that He might fill all things". Wow! 

That He might fill all things. 

That is incredible. Louie Giglio's Indescribable video showed us towards the end, the spiral galaxy otherwise known as the darling of space. It's 300 million some light years from Earth. The farthest thing we can see with the Hubble telescope. We zoomed in to the middle of it's black hole core and found what's called the x structure. It's a cross in the middle of glowing blue light. Amazing! Even that far out that truly just goes to show that He truly is in and filling all things. He's also been showing me what it looks like to be in Him. 

In Him. 

We've heard this expression to death without really stopping to think about such a simple term. What does that look like? To be "in Jesus".


What I've found is that Jesus is simple. The Bible says His burden is light and His yoke is easy (Matthew 11:30). So easy in fact we've made it overly complicated and allowed the deceiver in with his confusion. God is not the author of confusion but of peace (1 Corinthians 14:33).


When the Bible says we are in Him it means exactly that. When God looks at us He does not see our sin, given we're in right relationship with Him and in repentance. He see's Jesus. He see's the blood that was poured out to cover all the sins of man. Those who are "in Christ"
are seen as such by the Father.


Imagine all the cells that are in our body working together to make sure that our body works and functions like it's supposed to. You can visualize all the millions of cells coming and going doing their job to ensure proper function of the body.


We also are like those cells coming together to help the whole body of Christ function. That is a whole other sermon entirely, but what I'mlooking at is the simplicity of God. 

He is in all things and we are in Him. There are such deep implications to that statement that I won't even speculate at this time.


We are literally in Him. Now here's the part that bakes the noodle a bit. If we are in Him, does God not even see us individually but as a literal part of Him? Does He look upon the earth and only see Christ and then the unsaved?  Sure He blesses us individually and knows us by name as well as all the hairs on our head but this is an interesting thought none the less.


He has named the billions of stars and galaxies and all of the heavens and yet they, I believe are all part of another, larger body. The Universe. One to which Christ holds together the same as He holds us together. He called us His most prized creation due to our unique nature, so obviously we are set apart in His magnificent creation and we're not to be compared as the pagans lump all existence together.


My thoughts here are more how to simplify our mental compartmentalization of how we actually view our existence as a Christian. When we truly believe the scriptures and take them literally, our reality and theology start to collide. Mine certainly has as of late, whilst becoming a product of CFNI to which I am so blessed to be a product of.


The more I know and learn, the more I find I know nothing and haven't even scratched the surface of any intellectual status. Nor does the retention of any of that knowledge equate to becoming more effective to the body or the Kingdom of God. What is effective is love and allowing yourself to love others rather than trying to help them alter their views or beliefs into ours via our extensive knowledge in which to argue and shut their theories down with. That just turns people off and sends them farther away from the true church. The true church is love, plain and simple. It's not evangelization, or how many souls can be won or how high up the ladder we can ascend or recognition we could receive or how many books we could sell or any of that. Those are all selfish pursuits with personal gain. Even the status quo with soul winning and evangelization. Good and absolutely essential though that is. Obviously people must be saved and need someone to lead them to Christ


But we must also demonstrate true care and love to people with no ulterior agenda. Not even with helping them come to Christ. When people experience true love then they want what we have. Then they come running and seeking due to the exertion of love.

After we have demonstrated the love of Christ then we can lead them to Him because the Holy Spirit will have prepared their hearts to receive Him.


Christ is love. If we are in Him and He is in all things and He is love then we must be love to others with no agenda. He does not chase after people when they choose to run the opposite way, though it breaks His heart. He simply loves and love covers a multitude of sins and conquers all. Love conquers all. Even evil and disbelief and doubt.


Matthew 6:33 states that if we seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness that all things shall be added to us besides.


All things.


Jesus also tells the disciples that the greatest commandment is love and that in love, the whole of the law is fulfilled.


Simple.


We make all the simple things so complex. Being in Christ is believing and obeying every word of the Bible and being love, one to another. We just need to be in Him and love others with no agenda. Not even the agenda of getting others saved. Love will achieve that on it's own and prepare the way for the salvation of others.

The Testimony of Matt Scott. (In a nutshell)

The Testimony of Matt Scott (in a nutshell)

For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus. (Philippians 1:6 NASB)

Born in Wichita Kansas November 20th 1978. (KS 78-85) Age: Birth to 6
.Received Jesus as Lord and savior at an age way too young to really know what I had and why I needed to be saved.
.Sexually molested by 16 yr old female babysitter at age 3. (The door and catalyst to my former sexual addiction)
.Father allows me to cry and scream my way out of a spanking. Don’t ever remember getting another one after this. (The start of no discipline and rebellion).(My folks were amazing and showed us love and gave us Jesus but under disciplined us because they were raised with parents that were over-disciplinarians). This made for a lot of hard lessons later as you’ll see and a skewed view of God the Father for a while. Made it hard to commit to or finish anything later. I love and forgive them though I do not understand.
.Remembered many things at a freakishly young age. Also walked all over a multiple block neighborhood with friend Joey. Not sure why this was able to happen or where my or his folks were.
.Had an insatiable desire to know how things worked and how things felt. (Including the bee’s I’d hold to let sting me on purpose to see how it felt. Odd Kid)
.1985 my sister Sarah is born. Father accepts job with Bell Helicopter in DFW

Moved to Texas 1985
.”Christian school” 1st grade. Violently whipped every day for no reason (literally) to the point of bruising by the principle. Was told beforehand that God was very disappointed with me. (Lucky I ever wanted anything to do with Christianity after this). Ran home when I snapped and dropped my pants to show parents bruising. (The enemy tried to take me out right off the bat for my call with a bitter first experience with Christianity) (Awareness of things in the world needing to be different began)
.Raised in church.

Public School
.Enrolled in public school the remainder of 1st grade after horrific Christian school experience.

1st- 5th grade.
The only school years of some peace. Some fights, girlfriends and first experience with smoking. (A generational addiction stirs but doesn’t take yet).
.6th grade by itself. Started really noticing girls smoked more and struggling to focus. Summer school to pass.
.Skater through Jr. High.
.Brought many friends to church. (Evangelism)
.Prophesied over that I had a large work to do for the kingdom, a calling to do great things and be a leader to many. (Multiple times this was spoken from different people in the churches).
.Was exposed to pornography at grandfathers in Austin. (Lust began to take hold)
.Exposed to books on occult and the metaphysical at friend Radd’s house. (Gateway to curiosity with the metaphysical and the occult).
.Love of heavy metal and secular music began
.Went through first major depression at age 10-12 for 2 yrs. Nearly committed suicide to end the sadness and confusion.


Jr. High 7th, 7th-8th grade.
.Fully addicted to cigarettes, lost virginity at 14 and started experimenting with drugs. (The beginning of drug and sexual addictions) Slept with many before leaving Jr. High alone. Skipped so much school I failed 7th. Didn’t care about school anymore. Only girls and drugs. Flunked through all of Jr. High till forced to go to High School. Was never disciplined or made to fix the issue. Was allowed to fail. Continued a cycle of failure. Tried home school but came back. Was smart and very intelligent but didn’t care nor was made to. Very rebellious and depressed. Started having to fight and was shown how to make homemade tattoo’s. Had tattoo’s before leaving. (Later got full sleeves to cover the old mess)
.Always intrigued by spiritual things and had a taste for  Biblical prophecy and end times events.
.Loved reading books and fantasy novels/games. (Led to studying some witchcraft/ eastern religions and astral projection).
.My aunt sends me up north, 2 summers consecutively. I'm surrounded by beauty while being sent out on a 14 day canoeing trip to the British Columbia in Canada, (we barely survived and lived off the land literally after 4 days in due to losing all we had in violent rapids), Two 14 day Mountain Climbing trips to Sinks Canyon Wyoming, And a 14 day Backpacking trip to the Bob Marshall wilderness/mountains of Montana. We nearly died multiple times, swamped our canoes and were swept away in violent and treacherous rapids, were followed and attacked by a Grizzly bear, lost our way, had a near death mountainside from falling boulders and so on. This deepened the already rooted survival traits/skills I had and was a true man making season of my life. These were defining moments in my life to which a day does not go by that I do not think about. Some of the best times of my life and a catalyst for spiritual and mental survival in the days ahead. This was the only time I knew peace until my 30's.
Never had a problem with faith or believing in Jesus.
.Always brought friends to church and spoke of God even in this state. (Evangelism)
.Gave life back to Christ but couldn't kick the habits and was pulled back into the world.

High School 9-10.
.Didn’t return to church for some time.
.Full drug use, Meth, Coke, Acid, Pot, X and so on. More sex and parties.
.OD’d on Acid and was revived by Jesus. (In the blackness of life fading, His hand came down through a pinhole of light to literally pull me out of the darkness and back to life).
.Involved in many bad situations with bad people where my life could have ended any second.
.Best friend committed suicide when I was 16. I was a pallbearer.
.Fought after funeral at school a lot after his death due to many reasons.
.Went deeper into depression. (Depression was a constant battle for me)
. Many friends died of drugs and suicide. Flunked through 9th and 10th because I still didn’t care nor was made to. Skipped too much class to pass or get license to drive till later at 18 but drove anyway.
.I had a deep hatred for Jr. High and High School due to the mentality of the kids. I was always on a different level and thought differently. I was usually better friends with my friends parents.
.Communication skills and intelligence I always had but I didn’t apply discipline and sound logic. The Holy Spirit kept my mind and spirit growing despite my stupid choices.
.Dropped out of High School and got GED

Art School. Phoenix, AZ. Early to mid 90’s
.Moved to AZ at age 17 to go to art college to get away from the drugs and the life I was living to start over and find new life. (Wasn’t listening to God or hearing what He wanted me to do).
.Literally the day I was shown my apartment and met my roommate the drugs flowed again. Meth, Coke, Opium, Peyote, Mescalin, Pot, X and alcohol. Bigger, better and more. (My plan for a new life went out the window almost instantly).
.Held a 4.0 GPA despite my addictions and habits. (When school cost money I cared and I took college seriously)
.God held my intelligence intact and kept my mind stimulated through my love of books and reading despite my own idiocy. He never left my side.
.I continued to speak of God and tell people of Him even when I wasn’t living right. I was deeply convicted of my beliefs but was not able to be obedient or operate in self control due to my lack of discipline growing up.
.Met and hooked up with a woman twice my age. (Professional DJ in the emerging Rave scene). Went deeper into drugs and the hallucinogenic lifestyle. She was connected to 2 British international fugitives through drugs, unknowingly. Also still married, unbenownst to me, and connected to the mafia. (Which also connected to all this).
.I had enough and moved back to TX when I was no longer connected.
.She tells me she has lupus and asks me for a kidney, sick as death while visiting me in TX on purpose. (I said no) I realized I had been used then. I drive her back to AZ.
.She enters witness protection program, is moved over seas.

20 years old living in my grandmothers house after she passes.
.Grandmother dies on my 20th birthday. I moved in to her home shortly after.
.Had some friends move in, had big parties known about citywide.
.Continued sleeping around, marijuana use and started weight lifting and using steroids.
.Had given up all hard drugs after near death experiences. Kept smoking pot and drinking.
.I had “drug morals” and said the lesser ones were OK but none of the “big” ones could be at the house.
.Met a girl the equivalent of Jezebel, fell in lust, moved her in and later her father who was dying of AIDS from Heroin use to help him for a few months till he could get a place while everyone else still lived there. Found her cheating and using heroin and was seconds away from literally killing her and the man. Rage from all of life and the steroids amplifying the anger drove that decision. (Another ploy of the enemy to take me out permanently). God made sure neither of them were at his house. They left 5 minutes before I got there i found out later.
.Left Jezebel, kicked everyone out and got an apartment alone.

Done with the life I was living. Joined the Navy, then met the wife.
.Quit smoking pot altogether.Tried to quit cigarettes, did briefly a few times but couldn't kick em. The Lord delivered me instantly after looking at the people I knew that were older, still on it and nowhere in life. I said, Lord, I don’t want to end up like this, please deliver me. He was faithful when I was serious. (I normally struggled horribly to quit anything). (A friends mother had told me I had an addiction addiction).
.Fed up with life not working, I joined the Navy and entered the delayed entry program to get some more college credits so I could go in as an officer. Trained for a year in DEP. (Wanted to go for the S.E.A.L.’s). Had an earlier injury that was discovered via an old x-ray that kept me from the positions I wanted and was already qualified for. Was given the option to honorably discharge and took it. I believe the Lord was keeping me from an early death and not heeding my calling. I would have fully immersed into the somewhat psychotic role of a special forces operative and probably never gotten back on track with the Lord. All of my bitterness and pain would have the wrong outlet, turning me into a war monster.
.Met the wife just before I opted out of the Navy.
.Took to smoking pot again briefly.

Marriage a successful business, Serious salvation, anxiety/panic disorder, the loss of a child and divorce.
.Married when I was 23.(Wasn’t listening to God again). We were living together in sin a year before we tied the knot. Much good did come out of this though, with multiple people being led to Christ. Wasn’t living right yet but still had a heart to see people saved. Led her atheist grandfather to Christ just hours before he died and a customer of mine weeks before he died. There were others as well but without death being involved.
.The Passion of the Christ came out. I went in one way and came out re dedicated to Christ and on fire from there on out. This is when I really accepted Jesus and got serious. At this point all I wanted was Him and the things of Him.
.We started going to church regularly as did her dad and step mom.
.We started a very successful landscaping business, made great money and bought plenty of expensive things we didn’t need. Went into unnecessary debt.
.She shows the depth of her formerly hidden bulimia/eating disorder. I’ve never seen any addiction/disorder to this extent that had someone still living. She enters treatment. Comes out and goes back to the disorder. This disorder effected everything she/we did or didn’t do. She wouldn’t receive help or get serious about overcoming to save herself or the marriage. Doc’s tell us she can never have children from the damage thew disorder has caused her inside.
.I go into full blown depression and develop anxiety/panic disorder. Start drinking and smoking pot again. Double the amount of cigarettes I smoked.
.I’m emotionally and verbally abused to the point of believing it. (Not the real wife but her addiction speaking. This was not the woman I married)
.I get put on high doses of anti-depressants/anti-anxiety medication. Told I’ll have to take them the rest of my life.
.I sell the business because I cannot handle it with all else going on. Could no longer function properly to take care of my customers. Worked different jobs.
.Towards the end of our relationship we start attending Lake House Church.
.I start getting serious about ministry but meet resistance from her. She didn’t want that kind of life.
.Miraculously, she gets pregnant, I get happy as she slowly goes to sad.
.Due to her disorder she equates pregnant to overweight and aborts the child against my will. I’m devastated, she worsens and no longer sleeps right with bad nightmares.
.Our relationship becomes completely toxic and I don’t see her the same anymore.
.We separate, I move home with my folks and we make preparations for divorce.
.We divorce after being together for 7 years when I’m 28. We married July 3rd and were divorced on July 2.
.The pain and depression from all this renders me almost completely useless as a human being.
.This messes me up even deeper because I loved her, wanted her well, believed in marriage and vows and was morally conflicted with divorce and leaving her like she was but the marriage was killing us both. I still had a lot to learn about being a husband as well. Was able to forgive her later after God doing a work in me, and she was able to forgive my shortcomings. We are still friends now and are civil.

Back home with the folks, figuring out what the heck to do with my life now.
.I’m home, beat down, no self confidence and feeling like a complete failure and like I’ve come through two world wars. (Another tactic of the enemy).
.Just before the divorce I’d bought a motorcycle and after traded it for a cruiser. This became my only escape.
.The first thing I did when I was divorced and started to hope again was backslide. Started smoking pot again, drinking and sleeping around. (The second clarity started coming, the enemy was there to throw me right off course again with the old nature and a sense of freedom after bondage, only to throw me back into the old bondage.)
.I start writing. (A significant catalyst to later change)
.Stopped living crazy, meet a spirit filled woman and almost got close to marriage even though I wasn’t in love or properly attracted to her. (First spirit filled, serious woman of God I met after the divorce. Good woman but wrong for me). (The enemy used a good thing to try and trip me up. God had something so much better for me in mind).
.Enemy got me thinking wrong even towards my church and I leave. Stay out of church for a bit.
.Get fed up once and for all and submit all to God.

True deliverance and life begin. (All good finally)
.Led to another church for a season. Develop a close relationship with the Pastor and am mentored by him. God worked all things to my good. Even leaving my home church for a season.
.All desire for the things of old are gone.
.I’m called to a season of solitude and study in the word as it and writing helps heal me and ministers to others. (A season of abiding on the secret mountain of the almighty). I stay in this season about one year. I come out of this season a new man completely. (My burning bush experience if you will. I encountered and experienced God).
.A writing ministry is born. I write two books and blog regularly.
.The Lord delivers me from depression and gives me peace I’ve not known.
.The Lord delivers me from anti-depressants/anti-anxiety medication. (The doctors told me I’d never produce the right amount of chemicals naturally again that are needed for proper emotional and mental health due to such a severe case of post traumatic stress disorder and would have to take meds the rest of my life).
.The Lord delivers me cold-turkey from cigarettes and all desires to smoke after 16 years of addiction. (Failed epically, hundreds of times in my own power using patches, gum and other quit smoking aids).
.The Lord brings to remembrance and revitalizes my call to the ministry.
.The enemy no longer steals the good seed.
.I start Bible college at Christ for the Nations. 
.Without being able to work like I need and after losing my truck, the Lord supernaturally provides for me to pay for my first semester of school. (Much thanks to my folks).
.The Lord then blesses me with a full scholarship that covers all school/living/food expense
.The Lord brings to remembrance old dreams and visions of a healing ministry and now has me operating in that gift.
(.Full update coming soon. Mind boggling addition of good things to add soon. Entered 4/11/14)


Scriptures I stood on throughout. (NKJV) unless noted otherwise.

.For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus. (Philippians 1:6 NASB)

.For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the LORD, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope. (Jeremiah 29:11)

.Trust in the LORD with all your heart, And lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He shall direct your paths. (Proverbs 3:5-6)

.But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you. (Matthew 6:33)

.Therefore we do not lose heart. Even though our outward man is perishing, yet the inward man is being renewed day by day. For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, is working for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory, while we do not look at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen. For the things which are seen are temporary, but the things which are not seen are eternal. (2 Corinthians 4:16-18)

.Roll your works upon the Lord [commit and trust them wholly to Him; He will cause your thoughts to become agreeable to His will, and] so shall your plans be established and succeed. (Proverbs 16:3 AMP)

.And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God. (Romans 12:2)

.And He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. 10 Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ’s sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong. (2 Corinthians 12:9-10)

.Keep and guard your heart with all vigilance and above all that you guard, for out of it flow the springs of life. (Proverbs 4:23 AMP)

.I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit within you; I will take the heart of stone out of your flesh and give you a heart of flesh. I will put My Spirit within you and cause you to walk in My statutes, and you will keep My judgments and do them. (Ezekiel 36:26-27)

.For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places. (Ephesians 6:12)