Relative Transparency in Christ

Tattoos in History, the American Culture and the Church

2011-04-01T15:10:00.002-05:00

A Brief History on my own choice to tattoo

Let me preface this topic in stating that I hold no bias in this matter. I do have both arms covered in sleeves and other tattoos as well. I was saved but mostly backslidden when I had gotten most of my work done. Much of the work was completed after I re-dedicated my life to the Lord as well. Personally, I do not feel conviction in this area lest the artwork rendered was purposefully evil. Though I certainly don’t condone or encourage receiving a tattoo but I neither condemn it. Many days I do long for the good ol’ skin the Lord gave me but without the funds for complete removal I’m stuck with them. This is also partially the reason behind the sleeves, which is to “affordably” cover the old ones.

Upon covering the old ones with the new sleeves, I’d decided to do a Chinese motif on my right arm because of my interest in the culture and art. Symbolically it represents my early testimony minus a few symbols that I must alter in the future do to their Buddhist meanings that I was unaware of.

On my left arm is a yet to be completed city scene of Armageddon along with scripture references. This one is purely because of my love of Eschatology and the study Biblical prophecy. This one was also designed in an effort to stimulate conversation leading to Jesus.

The Lord has turned my ink into an amazing ministry tool. Most every day I’m asked about them. They’ve been a great conversation starter and I always steer the chat from there to Jesus and because of that many have come to Christ. He’s used me as a secret weapon placing me in the Lion’s den if you will.

The reason for such extremity is a multi-faceted creature. It simply began with the desire to cover some homemade ones I had gotten when I was a young teen. I had grown up loving art and I’d always had an extreme edge in everything I did. Still do. I’m very thankful that the Lord has revealed to me my path in missions at this juncture of life. It takes an extreme spirit I believe, for this line of ministry, especially in an extremely under populated field of ministry.

The Origin of the Tattoo

Kings and commoners. Sailors and prisoners. Tribesmen and sweethearts. All have shared one thing: the art of the tattoo.

Evidence from ancient Egypt, Greenland, Siberia, and New Zealand shows how truly global the tattooer's art is — and how old. In fact, tattooing had existed for thousands of years before England's Captain Cook encountered it in the South Pacific in 1769. Merchant and naval seamen soon spread the art to Europe and America. But while its meaning has varied from people to people and from place to place, tattooing has most often served as a sign of social status, as a mark of one's passage through life, or simply as a way to beautify the body.

Once regarded in the West as frightening and repulsive, the tattoo has enjoyed great popularity in our own culture in recent years. Everywhere we look today — movies, advertisements, television-are signs that people of all walks of life appreciate and practice the art of the tattoo

Believe it or not, some scientists say that certain marks on the skin of the Iceman, a mummified human body dating from about 3300 B.C., are tattoos. If that’s true, these markings represent the earliest known evidence of the practice. Tattoos found on Egyptian and Nubian mummies date from about 2000 B.C., and classical authors mention the use of tattoos in connection with Greeks, ancient Germans, Gauls, Thracians and ancient Britons.

Tattooing was rediscovered by Europeans when exploration brought them into contact with Polynesians and American Indians. The word tattoo comes from the Tahitian word tattau, which means "to mark," and was first mentioned in explorer James Cook’s records from his 1769 expedition to the South Pacific. Because tattoos were considered so exotic in European and U.S. societies, tattooed Indians and Polynesians drew crowds at circuses and fairs during the 18th and 19th centuries.

Tribal Cultures

Ritual and tradition have been common and constant factors in tattooing. In Borneo, for example, women bore a symbol on their arms to denote their specific skills, thus increasing their potential for marriage, whilst tattoos worn around the fingers and wrist were said to ward off illness. Clan or society membership have also often been symbolized by tattoos throughout history. It has also been believed that the wearer of an image calls the spirit of that image. For example, the ferocity of a tiger would belong to the person baring this tattoo.

Although controversial, many believe tattooing originates in Egypt, from the time of the Pharaohs and the construction of the Great Pyramids. As the Egyptian Empire spread, so did the art of tattooing and around 2000 BC it reached China.

In ancient Greece, the tattoo was used to mark spies while the Romans used the tattoo to mark slaves and criminals. In western Asia, the Ainu people used tattoos to signify social status. The Ainu were said to have carried the art to Japan where is became a mark of religion. Dayak warriors who had 'taken a head' were signified by a tattoo on the hand. The Polynesians employed tattoos to denote status, tribal communities and rank. They carried this art to New Zealand where a facial tattoo, Moko, was developed. The Danes, Saxons and Norse were often tattooed with their family crest.

Multi- Cultural Meanings

The practice of tattooing means different things in different cultures. In early practice, decoration appears to have been the most common motive for tattooing, and that still holds true today. In some cultures, tattoos served as identification of the wearer’s rank or status in a group. For example, the early Romans tattooed slaves and criminals. Tahitian tattoos served as rites of passage, telling the history of the wearer’s life. Boys reaching manhood received one tattoo to mark the occasion, while men had another style done when they married. Sailors traveling to exotic foreign lands began to collect tattoos as souvenirs of their journeys (a dragon showed that the seaman had served on a China station), and tattoo parlors sprang up in port cities around the globe.

The Changing Cultural Status of the Tattoo in America

The cultural status of tattooing has steadily evolved from that of an anti-social activity in the 1960s to that of a trendy fashion statement in the 1990s. First adopted and flaunted by influential rock stars like the Rolling Stones in the early 1970s, tattooing had, by the late 1980s, become accepted by ever broader segments of mainstream society. Today, tattoos are routinely seen on rock stars, professional sports figures, ice skating champions, fashion models, movie stars and other public figures who play a significant role in setting the culture's contemporary mores and behavior patterns.

During the last fifteen years, two distinct classes of tattoo business have emerged. The first is the "tattoo parlor" that glories in a sense of urban outlaw culture; advertises itself with garish exterior signage; offers "pictures-off-the-wall" assembly-line service; and often operates with less than optimum sanitary procedures.

The second is the "tattoo art studio" that most frequently features custom, fine art design; the ambiance of an upscale beauty salon; marketing campaigns aimed at middle- and upper middle-class professionals; and "by-appointment" services only. Today's fine art tattoo studio draws the same kind of clientele as a custom jewelry store, fashion boutique, or high-end antique shop.

The market demographics for tattoo services are now skewed heavily toward mainstream customers. Tattooing today is the sixth-fastest-growing retail business in the United States.

The single fastest growing demographic group seeking tattoo services is, to the surprise of many, middle-class suburban women.

Views on Tattoos in the Church and When it Becomes Sin

Tattoos have become the norm and are gaining great acceptance in the community, workplace and the church. The church? Yes, the church! Tattoos are no respecter of person. Some people preached and teach that if you get a tattoo, you are going to hell. However, is that theology true? Compared to getting a tattoo before giving your life to Christ, should a person only receive harsh reproach for getting a tattoo after they commit their life to Christ? The bible says, “Do not cut your bodies for the dead or put tattoo marks on yourselves. I am the LORD” (Leviticus 19:28). However, in the previous verse it says, “Do not cut the hair at the sides of your head or clip off the edges of your beard” (Leviticus 19:27). What becomes the determining factor to decide which verse Christians should or should not follow? More people disobey the "hair" law compared to the "tattoo" law.

The bible says, “Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore, honor God with your body,” (1 Corinthians 6:19-20). If dishonoring your body means marking your body, then, do scars fall in the same category? Along with a tattoo, in spite of the cocoa butter treatments, a scar can become a permanent mark. Over eating, smoking, alcohol abuse and etc are forms of not bringing honor to the body, as well.

The approval ratings of tattoos are becoming a cultural decision. Getting a tattoo is not a good or bad issue. With some, the tattoo is not the problem, but the rationale behind the tattoo can be where the sin resides. At times, the actual tattoo, location and age can allow a tattoo to become opposite of a wise decision. The story behind the tattoo can contain the real problem and open the door for ministry to take place. This issue is immensely difficult, and many church leaders must take these things in regard before casting final judgment on people with tattoos. As a church, Christians should not always look at the surface problems, but look skin deep.

My Closing Thoughts regarding the most common “Christian” argument on Tattoos

My take on the most common argument according to (Leviticus 19:28) in my opinion is irrelevant today. This is provable in scripture with the simple fact alone that Leviticus 19:28 was written for the Jews who were under Mosaic and Ceremonial law in the old covenant and had literally thousands of laws they had to keep. To break one was to break them all. Two verses prior to this in 19:26 it says not to eat anything with blood. The next in 19:27 states not to shave the sides of our heads or trim our beards. The penalties for these and many other things was death.

For this argument to be valid would also mean that since we’ve gotten haircuts and have eaten meat means we should all be put to death.

It would also mean that Jesus’ coming, death on the cross for the remission of sins for those who believe in Him and confess Him as Lord (Jew and Gentile) is a complete fabrication and a lie. It would also mean that every letter written by Paul who was formerly a Jew, converted, and the deliverer of the gospel to the Gentiles and the world is also a lie and has no sway. I thank God that this is not the case!

To quote Leviticus 19:28 in this light is to completely render the Bible inaccurate and invalid which is not the case but rather the common attempts of uneducated religious zealots who still try and earn their way into heaven by works, do’s and don’ts and completely disregard faith and belief which is what no man can please the Lord without. Our faith and belief that produces fruit is what makes us righteous as it was attributed to Abraham under the old covenant in Genesis 15:6. There are things we naturally do as an outcome of faith in action that bring about our righteousness.

There are clear Biblical sins and there are things that some have convictions of and others do not. For example, I do not believe it is a sin to have a drink; therefore I have no conviction of it. I have never been an alcoholic with those tendencies but if I had been this would be a clear case of sin against my body because of former addiction. Things that are knowingly harmful for us of course are sinful because the body is the temple of the Holy Spirit. Paul says that all things are permissible but not all things are beneficial in 1 Corinthians 10:23. Also in 1 Corinthians 6:12 Paul states the same but also stating that he will not be brought under the power of anything, meaning addiction to anything other than God. We are to take care of the temple of the Lord and keep Him our one and only dependency.

As mentioned throughout, the issue of tattoos being a sin rest on personal conviction, motive, content of the tattoo and most importantly the position of the heart. Whether one had them pre- salvation or continues to get them afterword’s is one’s own prerogative and between their own convictions and the Lord. I neither condone it nor promote it. On this topic I say to each his own. Be cautious of the motive and submit your plans to the Lord. Right or wrong, He loves us and has paid for our mistakes. To be convicted and pursue is to knowingly sin against the Lord.

Bibliography

Origin of the Tattoo, Tribal Cultures, Multi-Cultural Meanings: www.msu.edu

The Changing Cultural Status of the Tattoo in America: www.tattooartist.com

Views on Tattoos in the Church and when it Becomes Sin: www.examiner.com

You are with Me now

2011-03-31T23:56:00.000-05:00

Living, breathing invigoration pulsing new life into dried veins. Exploding it comes to a dry and weary landscape of spirit and flesh, overstimulated, under-spilled and analyzed to paralysis. Pondered threads of existence, layer upon layer, doctrine upon doctrine, views and beliefs poured over to the point of catharsis, producing a jaded, thinned and deconstructed substance of all things once thought, fluid state and flowing through valleys and intersections of where mind and belief cross.

A passage of time untouched by the aging, five years material yet a lifetime ethereal. Agony through bellows of gut wrenching pain of failure and fog, soul in imprisoned, cold stone in my chest once warm, life flowed from my best. Crippled, bruised, betrayed by self and def to the Sparrow, emotional motion into decay, ravaged by flesh and feeling, blind to the Day. Further towards depravity my being falls, the shock of the halt from years of war, the battle raged rages no more, thrashing within, no closure, no light, darkness.......consumed and swallowed, living death, I give it to You freely, take this wretch, I bare this no more.

Pull me from the grave of self or kill me I pray, suffer this life not one more day will I, lest for purpose. Destiny....providence...Your will alone will save, mine gone, I am depraved. Stripped of all I once knew, I am left only with bones and with You.

You’ve echoed through the ages, through dreams, visions and sages. Faithfully drawing, creation speaking, moments of epiphany in shrouded wood, breezes blowing yet miles in sight. The path ahead lies. Retraction is not an option. Death or destiny without compromise. Cessation of self- mortification, the lame walks and the dead rises. A seeking of council, re-focus, re-construct, I find in You that I am rebuilt, restored and renewed.

Plan A in Plan B’s space, new season of life I face. The call. Heavy, driven, absent and emptied, no residual me. Untainted and unpainted canvas to graze. Unfamiliar territory, the mirror reflects unfamiliar. An age passes.

Words spoken from youth returning, terminal velocity carrying vision, doors opened and doors closed, narrow and firm the path unfolds. The love of God the likes never known, blessing poured abundant over fresh fire, all once thought lost not buried in mire but beauty for ashes, authority, boldness, a transfer of power.

That which has no origin, God, transcendent of matter and volume, That from which flows order, above all that comes under, whispers transference, crackling life, corrosion falling, no longer dark night. Chaos removed through love so pure, no works can earn, no words compel, a love unconditional, saving from hell.

The air is clear, free, this soul You’ve set free my Father, my all to Thee. To You I belong, in You I’m found. Groveling, blindness and grasping in darkness, begging Lord how? Your magnificent hand extended, voice thundering in solitaire, seas of shadows split and laid bare, Your light demands entrance, Your heat on my brow, the fire ensues my bones through and through, You resound in my heart... no more will darkness befall you, despair grip you, depression break you, anxiety take you, addiction make you. It is I that drew you, I that propelled, broke and grew you. The depths that pulled at your heart, the voice screaming now, you were made for such a time as this...... I AM and fear not for you are with Me now.

What does being "in Christ" look like? By Matt Scott

2010-08-29T17:49:00.003-05:00

This is the first entry I've been able to write in a while. The Lord has changed everything. My thought processes, writing and pretty much everything else. God is showing me many things now.For a while now I’ve had nothing to write, and that is OK. My writing will likely be coming from a different place within now. This is good, due to all the time spent recently in between semesters that I haven't been able to hear the Lord. He finds all kinds of ways to re-creat us. He makes all things new. Even burnt out Christians need that new revelation and experience.Even in such an amazing place like Christ for the Nations you can get dry and the Christian bubble can become the norm. Looks like my season of dry bones is coming to a close.

I've been in Ephesians the last few day but have stopped on chapter 4 to ponder and study. He had me stop on Ephesians 4:9-10.

9 (Now this, “He ascended”—what does it mean but that He also first descended into the lower parts of the earth? 10 He who descended is also the One who ascended far above all the heavens, that He might fill all things.)

He ascended "far above all the heavens, that He might fill all things". Wow!

That He might fill all things.

That is incredible. Louie Giglio's Indescribable video showed us towards the end, the spiral galaxy otherwise known as the darling of space. It's 300 million some light years from Earth. The farthest thing we can see with the Hubble telescope. We zoomed in to the middle of it's black hole core and found what's called the x structure. It's a cross in the middle of glowing blue light. Amazing! Even that far out that truly just goes to show that He truly is in and filling all things. He's also been showing me what it looks like to be in Him.

In Him.

We've heard this expression to death without really stopping to think about such a simple term. What does that look like? To be "in Jesus".

What I've found is that Jesus is simple. The Bible says His burden is light and His yoke is easy (Matthew 11:30). So easy in fact we've made it overly complicated and allowed the deceiver in with his confusion. God is not the author of confusion but of peace (1 Corinthians 14:33).

When the Bible says we are in Him it means exactly that. When God looks at us He does not see our sin, given we're in right relationship with Him and in repentance. He see's Jesus. He see's the blood that was poured out to cover all the sins of man. Those who are "in Christ"
are seen as such by the Father.

Imagine all the cells that are in our body working together to make sure that our body works and functions like it's supposed to. You can visualize all the millions of cells coming and going doing their job to ensure proper function of the body.

We also are like those cells coming together to help the whole body of Christ function. That is a whole other sermon entirely, but what I'mlooking at is the simplicity of God.

He is in all things and we are in Him. There are such deep implications to that statement that I won't even speculate at this time.

We are literally in Him. Now here's the part that bakes the noodle a bit. If we are in Him, does God not even see us individually but as a literal part of Him? Does He look upon the earth and only see Christ and then the unsaved? Sure He blesses us individually and knows us by name as well as all the hairs on our head but this is an interesting thought none the less.

He has named the billions of stars and galaxies and all of the heavens and yet they, I believe are all part of another, larger body. The Universe. One to which Christ holds together the same as He holds us together. He called us His most prized creation due to our unique nature, so obviously we are set apart in His magnificent creation and we're not to be compared as the pagans lump all existence together.

My thoughts here are more how to simplify our mental compartmentalization of how we actually view our existence as a Christian. When we truly believe the scriptures and take them literally, our reality and theology start to collide. Mine certainly has as of late, whilst becoming a product of CFNI to which I am so blessed to be a product of.

The more I know and learn, the more I find I know nothing and haven't even scratched the surface of any intellectual status. Nor does the retention of any of that knowledge equate to becoming more effective to the body or the Kingdom of God. What is effective is love and allowing yourself to love others rather than trying to help them alter their views or beliefs into ours via our extensive knowledge in which to argue and shut their theories down with. That just turns people off and sends them farther away from the true church. The true church is love, plain and simple. It's not evangelization, or how many souls can be won or how high up the ladder we can ascend or recognition we could receive or how many books we could sell or any of that. Those are all selfish pursuits with personal gain. Even the status quo with soul winning and evangelization. Good and absolutely essential though that is. Obviously people must be saved and need someone to lead them to Christ

But we must also demonstrate true care and love to people with no ulterior agenda. Not even with helping them come to Christ. When people experience true love then they want what we have. Then they come running and seeking due to the exertion of love.

After we have demonstrated the love of Christ then we can lead them to Him because the Holy Spirit will have prepared their hearts to receive Him.

Christ is love. If we are in Him and He is in all things and He is love then we must be love to others with no agenda. He does not chase after people when they choose to run the opposite way, though it breaks His heart. He simply loves and love covers a multitude of sins and conquers all. Love conquers all. Even evil and disbelief and doubt.

Matthew 6:33 states that if we seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness that all things shall be added to us besides.

All things.

Jesus also tells the disciples that the greatest commandment is love and that in love, the whole of the law is fulfilled.

Simple.

We make all the simple things so complex. Being in Christ is believing and obeying every word of the Bible and being love, one to another. We just need to be in Him and love others with no agenda. Not even the agenda of getting others saved. Love will achieve that on it's own and prepare the way for the salvation of others.

The Testimony of Matt Scott. (In a nutshell)

2010-07-19T03:36:00.004-05:00

The Testimony of Matt Scott (in a nutshell)

For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus. (Philippians 1:6 NASB)

Born in Wichita Kansas November 20th 1978. (KS 78-85) Age: Birth to 6
.Received Jesus as Lord and savior at an age way too young to really know what I had and why I needed to be saved.
.Sexually molested by 16 yr old female babysitter at age 3. (The door and catalyst to my former sexual addiction)
.Father allows me to cry and scream my way out of a spanking. Don’t ever remember getting another one after this. (The start of no discipline and rebellion).(My folks were amazing and showed us love and gave us Jesus but under disciplined us because they were raised with parents that were over-disciplinarians). This made for a lot of hard lessons later as you’ll see and a skewed view of God the Father for a while. Made it hard to commit to or finish anything later. I love and forgive them though I do not understand.
.Remembered many things at a freakishly young age. Also walked all over a multiple block neighborhood with friend Joey. Not sure why this was able to happen or where my or his folks were.
.Had an insatiable desire to know how things worked and how things felt. (Including the bee’s I’d hold to let sting me on purpose to see how it felt. Odd Kid)
.1985 my sister Sarah is born. Father accepts job with Bell Helicopter in DFW

Moved to Texas 1985
.”Christian school” 1st grade. Violently whipped every day for no reason (literally) to the point of bruising by the principle. Was told beforehand that God was very disappointed with me. (Lucky I ever wanted anything to do with Christianity after this). Ran home when I snapped and dropped my pants to show parents bruising. (The enemy tried to take me out right off the bat for my call with a bitter first experience with Christianity) (Awareness of things in the world needing to be different began)
.Raised in church.

Public School
.Enrolled in public school the remainder of 1st grade after horrific Christian school experience.

1st- 5th grade.
The only school years of some peace. Some fights, girlfriends and first experience with smoking. (A generational addiction stirs but doesn’t take yet).
.6th grade by itself. Started really noticing girls smoked more and struggling to focus. Summer school to pass.
.Skater through Jr. High.
.Brought many friends to church. (Evangelism)
.Prophesied over that I had a large work to do for the kingdom, a calling to do great things and be a leader to many. (Multiple times this was spoken from different people in the churches).
.Was exposed to pornography at grandfathers in Austin. (Lust began to take hold)
.Exposed to books on occult and the metaphysical at friend Radd’s house. (Gateway to curiosity with the metaphysical and the occult).
.Love of heavy metal and secular music began
.Went through first major depression at age 10-12 for 2 yrs. Nearly committed suicide to end the sadness and confusion.

Jr. High 7th, 7th-8th grade.
.Fully addicted to cigarettes, lost virginity at 14 and started experimenting with drugs. (The beginning of drug and sexual addictions) Slept with many before leaving Jr. High alone. Skipped so much school I failed 7th. Didn’t care about school anymore. Only girls and drugs. Flunked through all of Jr. High till forced to go to High School. Was never disciplined or made to fix the issue. Was allowed to fail. Continued a cycle of failure. Tried home school but came back. Was smart and very intelligent but didn’t care nor was made to. Very rebellious and depressed. Started having to fight and was shown how to make homemade tattoo’s. Had tattoo’s before leaving. (Later got full sleeves to cover the old mess)
.Always intrigued by spiritual things and had a taste for Biblical prophecy and end times events.
.Loved reading books and fantasy novels/games. (Led to studying some witchcraft/ eastern religions and astral projection).
.My aunt sends me up north, 2 summers consecutively. I'm surrounded by beauty while being sent out on a 14 day canoeing trip to the British Columbia in Canada, (we barely survived and lived off the land literally after 4 days in due to losing all we had in violent rapids), Two 14 day Mountain Climbing trips to Sinks Canyon Wyoming, And a 14 day Backpacking trip to the Bob Marshall wilderness/mountains of Montana. We nearly died multiple times, swamped our canoes and were swept away in violent and treacherous rapids, were followed and attacked by a Grizzly bear, lost our way, had a near death mountainside from falling boulders and so on. This deepened the already rooted survival traits/skills I had and was a true man making season of my life. These were defining moments in my life to which a day does not go by that I do not think about. Some of the best times of my life and a catalyst for spiritual and mental survival in the days ahead. This was the only time I knew peace until my 30's.
Never had a problem with faith or believing in Jesus.
.Always brought friends to church and spoke of God even in this state. (Evangelism)
.Gave life back to Christ but couldn't kick the habits and was pulled back into the world.

High School 9-10.
.Didn’t return to church for some time.
.Full drug use, Meth, Coke, Acid, Pot, X and so on. More sex and parties.
.OD’d on Acid and was revived by Jesus. (In the blackness of life fading, His hand came down through a pinhole of light to literally pull me out of the darkness and back to life).
.Involved in many bad situations with bad people where my life could have ended any second.
.Best friend committed suicide when I was 16. I was a pallbearer.
.Fought after funeral at school a lot after his death due to many reasons.
.Went deeper into depression. (Depression was a constant battle for me)
. Many friends died of drugs and suicide. Flunked through 9th and 10th because I still didn’t care nor was made to. Skipped too much class to pass or get license to drive till later at 18 but drove anyway.
.I had a deep hatred for Jr. High and High School due to the mentality of the kids. I was always on a different level and thought differently. I was usually better friends with my friends parents.
.Communication skills and intelligence I always had but I didn’t apply discipline and sound logic. The Holy Spirit kept my mind and spirit growing despite my stupid choices.
.Dropped out of High School and got GED

Art School. Phoenix, AZ. Early to mid 90’s
.Moved to AZ at age 17 to go to art college to get away from the drugs and the life I was living to start over and find new life. (Wasn’t listening to God or hearing what He wanted me to do).
.Literally the day I was shown my apartment and met my roommate the drugs flowed again. Meth, Coke, Opium, Peyote, Mescalin, Pot, X and alcohol. Bigger, better and more. (My plan for a new life went out the window almost instantly).
.Held a 4.0 GPA despite my addictions and habits. (When school cost money I cared and I took college seriously)
.God held my intelligence intact and kept my mind stimulated through my love of books and reading despite my own idiocy. He never left my side.
.I continued to speak of God and tell people of Him even when I wasn’t living right. I was deeply convicted of my beliefs but was not able to be obedient or operate in self control due to my lack of discipline growing up.
.Met and hooked up with a woman twice my age. (Professional DJ in the emerging Rave scene). Went deeper into drugs and the hallucinogenic lifestyle. She was connected to 2 British international fugitives through drugs, unknowingly. Also still married, unbenownst to me, and connected to the mafia. (Which also connected to all this).
.I had enough and moved back to TX when I was no longer connected.
.She tells me she has lupus and asks me for a kidney, sick as death while visiting me in TX on purpose. (I said no) I realized I had been used then. I drive her back to AZ.
.She enters witness protection program, is moved over seas.

20 years old living in my grandmothers house after she passes.
.Grandmother dies on my 20th birthday. I moved in to her home shortly after.
.Had some friends move in, had big parties known about citywide.
.Continued sleeping around, marijuana use and started weight lifting and using steroids.
.Had given up all hard drugs after near death experiences. Kept smoking pot and drinking.
.I had “drug morals” and said the lesser ones were OK but none of the “big” ones could be at the house.
.Met a girl the equivalent of Jezebel, fell in lust, moved her in and later her father who was dying of AIDS from Heroin use to help him for a few months till he could get a place while everyone else still lived there. Found her cheating and using heroin and was seconds away from literally killing her and the man. Rage from all of life and the steroids amplifying the anger drove that decision. (Another ploy of the enemy to take me out permanently). God made sure neither of them were at his house. They left 5 minutes before I got there i found out later.
.Left Jezebel, kicked everyone out and got an apartment alone.

Done with the life I was living. Joined the Navy, then met the wife.
.Quit smoking pot altogether.Tried to quit cigarettes, did briefly a few times but couldn't kick em. The Lord delivered me instantly after looking at the people I knew that were older, still on it and nowhere in life. I said, Lord, I don’t want to end up like this, please deliver me. He was faithful when I was serious. (I normally struggled horribly to quit anything). (A friends mother had told me I had an addiction addiction).
.Fed up with life not working, I joined the Navy and entered the delayed entry program to get some more college credits so I could go in as an officer. Trained for a year in DEP. (Wanted to go for the S.E.A.L.’s). Had an earlier injury that was discovered via an old x-ray that kept me from the positions I wanted and was already qualified for. Was given the option to honorably discharge and took it. I believe the Lord was keeping me from an early death and not heeding my calling. I would have fully immersed into the somewhat psychotic role of a special forces operative and probably never gotten back on track with the Lord. All of my bitterness and pain would have the wrong outlet, turning me into a war monster.
.Met the wife just before I opted out of the Navy.
.Took to smoking pot again briefly.

Marriage a successful business, Serious salvation, anxiety/panic disorder, the loss of a child and divorce.
.Married when I was 23.(Wasn’t listening to God again). We were living together in sin a year before we tied the knot. Much good did come out of this though, with multiple people being led to Christ. Wasn’t living right yet but still had a heart to see people saved. Led her atheist grandfather to Christ just hours before he died and a customer of mine weeks before he died. There were others as well but without death being involved.
.The Passion of the Christ came out. I went in one way and came out re dedicated to Christ and on fire from there on out. This is when I really accepted Jesus and got serious. At this point all I wanted was Him and the things of Him.
.We started going to church regularly as did her dad and step mom.
.We started a very successful landscaping business, made great money and bought plenty of expensive things we didn’t need. Went into unnecessary debt.
.She shows the depth of her formerly hidden bulimia/eating disorder. I’ve never seen any addiction/disorder to this extent that had someone still living. She enters treatment. Comes out and goes back to the disorder. This disorder effected everything she/we did or didn’t do. She wouldn’t receive help or get serious about overcoming to save herself or the marriage. Doc’s tell us she can never have children from the damage thew disorder has caused her inside.
.I go into full blown depression and develop anxiety/panic disorder. Start drinking and smoking pot again. Double the amount of cigarettes I smoked.
.I’m emotionally and verbally abused to the point of believing it. (Not the real wife but her addiction speaking. This was not the woman I married)
.I get put on high doses of anti-depressants/anti-anxiety medication. Told I’ll have to take them the rest of my life.
.I sell the business because I cannot handle it with all else going on. Could no longer function properly to take care of my customers. Worked different jobs.
.Towards the end of our relationship we start attending Lake House Church.
.I start getting serious about ministry but meet resistance from her. She didn’t want that kind of life.
.Miraculously, she gets pregnant, I get happy as she slowly goes to sad.
.Due to her disorder she equates pregnant to overweight and aborts the child against my will. I’m devastated, she worsens and no longer sleeps right with bad nightmares.
.Our relationship becomes completely toxic and I don’t see her the same anymore.
.We separate, I move home with my folks and we make preparations for divorce.
.We divorce after being together for 7 years when I’m 28. We married July 3rd and were divorced on July 2.
.The pain and depression from all this renders me almost completely useless as a human being.
.This messes me up even deeper because I loved her, wanted her well, believed in marriage and vows and was morally conflicted with divorce and leaving her like she was but the marriage was killing us both. I still had a lot to learn about being a husband as well. Was able to forgive her later after God doing a work in me, and she was able to forgive my shortcomings. We are still friends now and are civil.

Back home with the folks, figuring out what the heck to do with my life now.
.I’m home, beat down, no self confidence and feeling like a complete failure and like I’ve come through two world wars. (Another tactic of the enemy).
.Just before the divorce I’d bought a motorcycle and after traded it for a cruiser. This became my only escape.
.The first thing I did when I was divorced and started to hope again was backslide. Started smoking pot again, drinking and sleeping around. (The second clarity started coming, the enemy was there to throw me right off course again with the old nature and a sense of freedom after bondage, only to throw me back into the old bondage.)
.I start writing. (A significant catalyst to later change)
.Stopped living crazy, meet a spirit filled woman and almost got close to marriage even though I wasn’t in love or properly attracted to her. (First spirit filled, serious woman of God I met after the divorce. Good woman but wrong for me). (The enemy used a good thing to try and trip me up. God had something so much better for me in mind).
.Enemy got me thinking wrong even towards my church and I leave. Stay out of church for a bit.
.Get fed up once and for all and submit all to God.

True deliverance and life begin. (All good finally)
.Led to another church for a season. Develop a close relationship with the Pastor and am mentored by him. God worked all things to my good. Even leaving my home church for a season.
.All desire for the things of old are gone.
.I’m called to a season of solitude and study in the word as it and writing helps heal me and ministers to others. (A season of abiding on the secret mountain of the almighty). I stay in this season about one year. I come out of this season a new man completely. (My burning bush experience if you will. I encountered and experienced God).
.A writing ministry is born. I write two books and blog regularly.
.The Lord delivers me from depression and gives me peace I’ve not known.
.The Lord delivers me from anti-depressants/anti-anxiety medication. (The doctors told me I’d never produce the right amount of chemicals naturally again that are needed for proper emotional and mental health due to such a severe case of post traumatic stress disorder and would have to take meds the rest of my life).
.The Lord delivers me cold-turkey from cigarettes and all desires to smoke after 16 years of addiction. (Failed epically, hundreds of times in my own power using patches, gum and other quit smoking aids).
.The Lord brings to remembrance and revitalizes my call to the ministry.
.The enemy no longer steals the good seed.
.I start Bible college at Christ for the Nations.
.Without being able to work like I need and after losing my truck, the Lord supernaturally provides for me to pay for my first semester of school. (Much thanks to my folks).
.The Lord then blesses me with a full scholarship that covers all school/living/food expense
.The Lord brings to remembrance old dreams and visions of a healing ministry and now has me operating in that gift.
(.Full update coming soon. Mind boggling addition of good things to add soon. Entered 4/11/14)

Scriptures I stood on throughout. (NKJV) unless noted otherwise.

.For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus. (Philippians 1:6 NASB)

.For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the LORD, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope. (Jeremiah 29:11)

.Trust in the LORD with all your heart, And lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He shall direct your paths. (Proverbs 3:5-6)

.But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you. (Matthew 6:33)

.Therefore we do not lose heart. Even though our outward man is perishing, yet the inward man is being renewed day by day. For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, is working for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory, while we do not look at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen. For the things which are seen are temporary, but the things which are not seen are eternal. (2 Corinthians 4:16-18)

.Roll your works upon the Lord [commit and trust them wholly to Him; He will cause your thoughts to become agreeable to His will, and] so shall your plans be established and succeed. (Proverbs 16:3 AMP)

.And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God. (Romans 12:2)

.And He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. 10 Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ’s sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong. (2 Corinthians 12:9-10)

.Keep and guard your heart with all vigilance and above all that you guard, for out of it flow the springs of life. (Proverbs 4:23 AMP)

.I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit within you; I will take the heart of stone out of your flesh and give you a heart of flesh. I will put My Spirit within you and cause you to walk in My statutes, and you will keep My judgments and do them. (Ezekiel 36:26-27)

.For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places. (Ephesians 6:12)

You are Worthy my Friend. By Matt Scott

2010-05-25T04:30:00.001-05:00

You are Worthy my Friend. By Matt Scott
(A letter to a close friend but a message for all)

My friend,

You have worth and value, the likes to which you are unaware. You have a special in my heart carved out for you alone. Your unconditional love and friendship has meant more to me than words can express. We were united in a time of darkness and confusion. A time of desperate searching for the longings of our souls. A time of excavating and resurrecting dead and buried hopes and dreams. And most of all a time of great loneliness to which those gaping holes we'd fill with most anything, right or wrong.

Our friendship has been tried and tested, and ran through the forge of true temper, only to emerge a steel of amazing strength and fortitude.

Time after time we have spoken of love, life and loss-desires, hope and of change. Many times we pushed and manifested change rather than wait upon the Lord and came up desperately short. In our emotionally charged impatience we willed a false reality into existence just to feel something other than complete and utter disappointment in the life we ourselves created.

Somewhere along this sojourn of discovery, we stopped believing in the worth and value that our Father in Heaven ascribed to us. Our worth and value has hung on the words and actions of others and has made our entire countenance susceptible to the shifting of another human being's words and emotions. We've dressed the way we believe others will approve of, strive for a look that others will be attracted to, hammer at our bodies in the gym to achieve a temporary result to get the attention of others more than for the reasons of health and daily do little things purely based on what we perceive others will think or say. When did we get caught up in the great deception and away from our destiny? When did we trade the words of our God, Who is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow for the words of double-minded and unstable people to sustain our spirits? No wonder we are so depressed, melancholy, confused and dying slow and horrific deaths from stress related diseases.

Only Jesus can give us life, and life more abundantly. Our Heavenly Father will never leave nor forsake us. He loves us with an everlasting love. He has a good plan and purpose for our lives, a plan to prosper and not to harm us. His strength is made perfect in our weakness when our minds are stayed on Him.

After a massive heart transplant, and complete cataract surgery, if you will, hind-sight is clearly 20/20. This only attained through pressing into the heart of God through worship, complete submersion in the Word of God, complete submission to Him and releasing and repenting of control of my life, which is but an illusion regardless. All this in conjunction with spending a season alone, just God and I, to know thyself again after years of allowing the media and others to tell me who I was. I can honestly say after that process (which you must want more than anything you ever have) I am truly free for the first time in my life. Free of the cares and desires of this world. Free of needing validation and edification from man or anyone other than God. Free to be who I am and not what others think I should be. Free to do what God leads me to do and not what others lead. Free to be OK with someone not agreeing with me all the time. Free to love the difference and uniqueness of others and their opinions and views. Free to not have to be the one always speaking but rather listening. Free to not have to always be right. Free to not always have to defend myself nor explain my position. I'm free to exist how God made me and to be just as unique and eccentric as I am even if that bothers someone else. Others are bothered and irritated simply because they aren't free yet.

God is working in you to bring you to this very same state of being right now. Often tragic and uncomfortable events are allowed in our lives to wreck us to the point that we are so broken that the only place left we can turn is to Jesus. We will let go of Him long before He lets go of us. Painful though it is, that is a wonderful place to be because freedom and deliverance is just on the other side should we press in to God. Be violently sick and tired of circling that same mountain so that you come off of it once and for all.

You cannot find all God has for you or your purpose until you completely die to self and submit your dreams and desires to Him. It is impossible to fill a cup that is already full. It is only when you've given or lost everything that you can truly find life more abundantly. Seek first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness and ALL things will be added to you. He will give you better than what you could ever attain in your own power. Taste of His goodness, submit control of your life to God and watch the miraculous happen in your own life.

My friend you have a spirit that touches everyone it comes in contact with for their betterment. You are one of the people who has touched me to the core with your genuineness, kindness and love. You love others beyond what most have the capacity to, even after those very same people have let you down and betrayed you in the worst possible ways. You truly demonstrate Christlike forgiveness. You have greatness in you and I know that when you are free of all the things that have so deeply wounded your spirit, you will change the world and leave behind a rich legacy for generations to come, should the Lord tarry in His return. You have the ability to touch a person so deeply that they are forever changed just by you being who you are. You pour out Witt and intelligent humor and light up a room when you enter. You are a romantic of old, the likes of which the world rarely see's. Your dreams and visions are much too large to be suppressed by the worlds demands. The world needs your dreams and visions manifest for its own sake. You are beautiful inside and out and your presence is highly desired and sought after.

My friend you are worthy and need prove yourself to know one. Your value is inestimable and those who don't see it don't see themselves. Jesus loves you with a love I cant fathom but I love you with a love the world doesn't fathom. The same kind of agape love that King David and Jonathan shared. The unconditional love of an unconditional friend.

I am here to walk this life with you and to help carry you over any of bridges that may be crumbling as you make your way across them.

We as friends as Christians should be more available and receptive to those in our sphere of influence when they have need even when times get trying and inconvenient for us.

Never let people with no self-worth or value steal the genuine worth and value you have. Don't spend your strength on people who will rob you of your destiny. When the world tells you that you cant, love will tell you that you can.

You are worthy and I love you and you deserve much better than what you've settled for. Never settle but rather set the standard and never bend on your standards.

Your friend and brother in Christ,
Matt

Words the Lord has Given Me in 2010. By Matt Scott

2010-05-25T04:08:00.004-05:00

Words the Lord has given me in 2010.

By Matt Scott

Sometime in 2006 and again this year:

To live a life without passion is to walk amongst the dead.

Jan 1, 2010:

Here at the turn of another decade its time we stop being blown by the wind and waves of life's circumstances but rather become the force that creates circumstance. It's time to grow solid in our beings and who we are. To know thyself we must first know who we are and what we have in Christ. Only then will we be a mighty unmoving Oak with deep and solid roots.

Jan 8, 2010:

You cannot find all God has for you or your purpose until you completely die to self and submit your dreams and desires to Him. It is impossible to fill a cup that is already full. It is only when you've given or lost everything that you can truly find life more abundantly. Seek first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness and ALL things will be added to you. He will give you better than what you could ever attain in your own power. Taste of His goodness, submit control of your life to God and watch the miraculous happen in your own life.

Jan 10, 2010:

If you want different results this year you have to do something different to get them. I've got one word for you that will change your life forever, make it worth living and give guaranteed results. JESUS

Jan 12, 2010:

We often equate marriage and finding the one as life's ultimate goal. This is an easy and shallow goal. Rather, become a person of purpose that has depth and positive world changing abilities who is solid in their being. Only then do you start to become a person of value, worth another sharing their life with you. As you grow, should you chose a path of positive worth, you will find that value and true life is only found when you give yourself and time to a cause bigger than you. Make yourself worth giving.

Jan 13, 2010:

Don't spend your strength on people who will rob you of your destiny.

Jan 14, 2010:

A person with NO direction is not attractive to a person WITH direction. We don't need to find the right person, we need to BECOME the right person. The LONELIEST people are not those that are single but the ones who lay down at night next to their spouse when they themselves have not worked to be the RIGHT person.

Many say they are a Christian but clearly their lives demonstrate that they are not. The word disciple has a core word. Discipline. Are you living for Christ daily or are you just wearing the T-Shirt? You cannot love Jesus and the world.

Feb 15, 2010:

A Little Honesty...Valentines Day still brings a little bile up the back of my throat!!!! Anyone concur? (Lol. Not from the Lord but adequate for the season.)

Feb 18, 2010:

Truth...laying your life, wants and desire aside to take up your cross and follow Jesus is painful and not easy. Good news...doing so will make you a person of value not only to the kingdom of God but also to others. And the rewards start right here and now, not just in eternity. He's the God of right now and today as well as forever.

March 16, 2010:

Seek God first in obedience to His word and in all things. This is the path to abundant life. When life and circumstance confuse and afflict you, follow the path of peace. That is How our Father leads us to the right road when decisions call for a choice.

March 19, 2010:

Emotions are like fire. When left to run of themselves they will destroy and consume everything in their path including yourself. When used properly they can be very useful. Don't let your emotions determine your choices. You will awaken to a path of hurt and destruction in your life as well as others. Self-Control is one of the most important gifts of the Spirit. That includes controlling your emotions.

I've seriously had it! Guess what people? Even the real Christians are human believe it or not and we don't get it right all the time. Nor will we. Instead of blaming us and God for your problems why don't you look the source of the problem in the mirror and ask yourself and God directly how to make it better instead of hanging your every breath on our words. You know, on the words of us fake hypocrites!

March 23, 2010:

Un-sugarcoated truth: Life is not easy. BUT WE HAVE JESUS!!!!!!!! Our spiritual eyes must be open to see the enemy's attacks if were going to get anywhere with God! Fire will not burn us when we are in His plan!!! We walk by faith not by sight! Come on somebody!! Can I get a hallelujah???

April 7, 2010:

The existential human disorder is that we have to know. All we have to know is that our God is on the throne and faithful to watch over and perform His word. Desperately seek Him above all things and He will add all things to you. That is all you need to know.

April 14, 2010:

Grace is not a license to sin! It is a supernatural empowerment to live Holy! You can't live like the Devil all week on purpose and then pretend to be a Christian on Sunday. It's high time to stop repenting for the same sin over and over and time to start using our time with God to develop our relationship and to ask ...for things like more faith to perform healings and cast out demons in Jesus' name.

God wants to take you to the deeper places. Places the mind cannot fathom but rather the spirit. He wants to give you new revelation. Revelation that tears down worldly ideals that expose the real God. He wants to take you to heavenly places and give you an aerial view. Heavenly places of vision and rest. He has given you the air.

April 15, 2010:
Every moment is an opportunity to engage the heart of God. His heart has never changed. His heart is for souls.

April 20, 2010:

People that call themselves a "Christian" that put guilt and condemnation on an already hurting soul (about the very things they secretly deal with) should be drug out into the street and shot!!! Go back and read the stories of the apostles previous lives and remember the forgiveness the very men who brought us the gospel received.

Thursday. May 13, 2010:

Writers- when you hit the wall after a long run of inspiration, it means you've emptied your cup. The quiet is maddening after such a spell but necessary. Listen to everyone, cherish the silence, talk little, serve others and be empty. For God is teaching you deep new truths to old things that requires the breaking of everything you think you know.

Friday. May 21, 2010:

Man has not, because he asks not. Boldness either gets a man lynched or changes the world while attaining his dreams, even at the cost of appearing a fool. And to that I say, right on!

The Master's Hand. Wordsmith and freelance services.

2010-05-22T01:23:00.002-05:00

The Master's Hand. Wordsmith and freelance services.

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My company offers services from Resume's to compiling and editing information. With the resume service you will get a custom resume tailored to your specific needs, personality and target employment. I offer services electronically or in person. The resume package comes with a phone interview to better retain a feel for who you are in order to present the best possible representation of you to the employer and make your resume stand out above the rest. You will also get online storage and up to 3 updates at no additional cost. I will also email copies to you or any potential employer and store their info for you at no additional cost with this service.

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Articles/ Blogs/ Creative Writing:
.Articles range from $5 to $20 per article depending on word count
.Creative and Ghost writing such as poetry and short stories ranges from $15 and up.
.Call for additional pricing on resume packages, blogs and blog maintenance and other services available.

My specialty is in Resumes, Articles, Blogs/ Blog Maintenance, Ghost Writing, Editing, Mass Information Compilations, Novels and Poetry.

I am a published author of two ebooks, have a current Blog and write for the informer at Christ for the Nations Institute. I've written for over 15 years. I can do all styles and types of writing from creative to non-fiction.

For Work Samples:

Blogger: http://great78ster.blogspot.com/
ELance: http://www.elance.com/s/edit/great78ster/
EBooks: http://authonomy.com/Profile.aspx

I can also have any work done printed on many forms of media depending on need.
Much of what I do is online and via email but I can also meet when if necessary do the work at your home or place of business via laptop. A service charge will apply for travel depending on distance. My turnaround time is very fast and I'll answer any questions you may have, provide work samples as work is completed and stay in contact regularly on larger projects.

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Matt Scott. The Master's Hand
817-308-3425 Call/Text/Email
great78ster@gmail.com

The Greatest Awakening and the Passing of the Mantle. By Matthew Scott

2010-04-04T03:44:00.001-05:00

Here we stand on the 4th of April in the year that will surpass all others, just days after the death of a beloved saint, Mrs. Freda Lindsay, Co-Founder of Christ for the Nations (CFNI). The weeks and months leading up to March 25th, 2010, the day of her passing, have been nothing short of supernatural.

The Lord spoke to me in my spirit late in 2009 that 2010 was going to be an unprecedented year of major events for the Kingdom of God and the reversal of a season of turmoil and darkness. A similar word was spoken to and confirmed by some fellow brothers and sisters in the faith that I'm close to. We are now just 4 months in to this prophesied year of wonders and much has occurred at almost break neck speed. Needless to say the time has been redeemed.

I would imagine that even people ignorant to the spirit realm can sense the paradigm shift in the world by the signs of the times alone.

The seasons have almost fully traded places, the greatest earthquakes in history have taken place seemingly back to back, tsunamis have swept away towns and villages, hurricanes have ravaged the land on a historic scale, we hear of wars and rumors of wars, America took its biggest hit since Pearl Harbor on 9/11/01, the Elect are being deceived and turning from the truth, the current President of our once great nation is paving the way for the rise of the Antichrist if the man himself is not he, and we grow ever closer to nuclear war on a daily basis between the contending and psychotic world powers with Israel in the cross-hairs.

The events I've just mentioned have all been prophesied in the Bible, thousands of years ago, to occur in the last days of Earth's final hours before the return of Jesus.

The odds of just 3 of these events occurring is astronomical. Hundreds of prophesies pertaining to the birth, death and resurrection of Jesus alone came to pass to a T and now we're fulfilling end time prophecy on almost a weekly basis. The collective historical events that have taken place over the last ten years has been more than any other generation in history has witnessed and were only just getting started.

To contrast the dark, we at CFNI and the Spirit filled church around the world is seeing signs, wonders and miracles on an unprecedented scale. We are also seeing giftings and callings being revealed to younger generations than ever before in the history of the church. I'm talking about a zeal and a fire for God that many lifelong saints of 80 plus years never attained but at the ages of 6 and up. Kids of students getting visions and dreams while prophesying and interceding on behalf of the saints. Men and women the ages of thirty and up are taking their places and receiving the divine inheritance of becoming the Watchmen of this third and greatest spiritual awakening by passing down the baton and safe guarding the great mantle of anointing that has been passed down to us by the great ones of the faith such as Gordon and Freda Lindsay with integrity and honor, while having the vigor of age old warriors to protect this birthright. We are appointed and ordained to be here and now in such a time as this and I am honored beyond the comprehension words that could express gratitude in any native tongue, to be a part of this collective of warriors.

These generations have an uncanny understanding of the move of God in this age and have been given the faith that moves mountains, that heals the diseased, that restores sight to the blind, that makes the lame walk and a generation given to faith that raises the dead. We are that generation and you will see these things in the earth as God is faithful to perform His word.

He has been preparing us for this age since the beginning. The baton has been passed down from generation to generation from Adam to Abraham. From Abraham to Moses. From Moses to Elijah. From Elijah to John the Baptist to prepare the way for Jesus. Now with the redemption of sin from Jesus the need for the office of High Priest was no more because He fulfilled the oppressive yoke of the law for us once and for all. This brings in the age of the apostle or carrier of the news of the work of Jesus and what His death, burial and resurrection means for those who would believe.

From there a new anointing was passed on. A mantle of awakening. From here it goes to the Apostles. From the Apostles to Paul ( formerly known as Saul of Tarsus). From Paul to the Gentiles (anyone other than the Jews).

Jumping ahead an era or so we had men like Martin Luther who initiated the protestant reformation and contributed almost single handedly to the abolition of the Dark Ages ( the period of cultural and economic decline and disruption with spiritual blindness from the extinguishing of the light of the Roman Era to the beginning of the Renaissance in the 14th century). He went against the Catholic church and was ex communicated but brought about the first great awakening.

Luther's mantle was then passed on to John Calvin in the 1500's and then later passed again to John Wesley in the late 1700's. From here it passed on to folks like John G. Lake and then to Oral Roberts and Gordon Lindsay, then to his wife Freda after his death. Gordon Lindsay had a strong gift of healing and evangelism and in conjunction with other great men of the faith responsible for a Pauline anointing of taking and supporting Christ to the Nations.

With the passing of Freda Lindsay just day's ago this mantle has now fully passed to us and I am certain that we are the generation that will see the return of Jesus Christ very soon. We are the Watchmen and the children of the age of signs, wonders and miracles. Many parts of the world have started to see the ushering in of this age but now it comes to America to those that are answering the call of God on their lives.

This mantle can only be received by those willing to face themselves that will allow God to fully break them of fleshly desires and anything contrary to His kingdom. This mantle will only pass to those willing to die to self for the cause of Christ and who serve one another and the church. This mantle will only be given to those who believe in, rely on and adhere to the teachings of Jesus and obey His word with the utmost integrity. This mantle will only pass to those who have faith of a child and take the Bible literally word for word.

These that I speak of have never been satified with just OK and getting by. I speak of those that often feel insane because their spirits have outgrown their flesh and they believe in and are a part of something that calls to them from a realm that the eyes cannot gaze upon. Eternity speaks to them in dreams and when awake visions haunt and propel them towards destiny. Divine downloads collect in the deepest recesses of the soul while while progressively coagulating into forms that manifest in the physical for the edification of the modern day saints. I speak of those that contain a warrior spirit that would joyfully look death in the eye and die a martyrs death for the cause of Christ and of those that would stand up and come against those that violently oppose the the message of the cross.

I ask that those of you who are not afraid to truly live for something great and who want to be a part of the most significant time that man has ever known instead of an onlooker to rise up and take your place among the Watchmen. Allow God to break you so He can make you to live from your spirit (the real you) instead of from your corrupt and feeble flesh. Allow Him to make you worthy of breath by becoming that which you were designed to be. What your flesh desires is petty and insignificant. That deep burden within you for more than this life is your spirit crushed and oppressed by your flesh. Break the flesh and release the spirit thus releasing you to destiny. It is time to rise and take our place in history as the next and greatest men and women of faith to clear the way once and for all for the return of our mighty and worthy to be praised savior, Jesus the Christ.

The Deep, The Breaking, and Rebuke. By Matthew Scott

2010-03-22T19:46:00.001-05:00

Breakthrough is coming in all areas. I can feel it. God spoke that to my spirit this morning at school and it was confirmed by a word spoken to all of us by Pastor and Personal Discipleship teacher Adam McCain.

I got home after an attempt to work only to find my mother crying and upset. I asked her what was wrong and she told me my sister was at the hospital with my nephew after coming from his regular doctors. The doc checked him for some things and believes he may have spinal meningitis so he sent him to the hospital immediately. God please don't let it be!

I had planed on walking at the park that I normally do today. I've been going there more lately to clear my head. So now I went to walk and to intercede for my nephew and plead the blood of Jesus over any sickness.

I'm writing you now while sitting on a park bench looking at the beautiful day and the awe of Gods creation but under a truly heavy spirit.

Even with a heavy spirit I always take the time to learn what every moment is teaching, taste every cool breeze that grazes my face, intake every beauty that is offered on this visually stunning planet from the blue skies to the green grasses to the rocks and rivers meeting in conjunction.

It's these things that teach us deeper than others how to exist in harmony with our Creator. Even in anguish. A broken outer man that leads to a solid inner man makes this possible. These little things are easily taken for granted when one has not experienced true pain or emotional discomfort that stretches you out of your comfort zone.

The enemy attacked me this last week to the point of sheer soul exhaustion. Mind, will and emotions. Much of this is also God breaking me deeper for new levels ahead I believe.

As I sit here I'm listening to one of the new albums that is becoming my life's soundtrack that I recently picked up called Treasure by David Helpling and Jon Jenkins. This album is nothing less than it's name. Treasure! Two masters in this genre of music together. This music is deeply emotional and touching. It haunts and it heals at the same time. Purely instrumental so your mind and spirit can journey where they need to.

I'm going through what Saint John of the Cross calls the Dark Night of the Soul. Basically crossing a threshold of spirituality that is a kind of rite of passage into spiritual maturity. It is wrought with pain, deep emotion, purging the past forgood and much inner conflict. Not like a spiritual attack but more like a full cleansing by trial and fire.

My colors have always been blue and green. I have always had a deep spiritual connection to these colors since I was barely old enough to have memories. They are both brighter and more surrounding right now. The most vivid memories I have include accents of those two colors in them. Soothing yet lulling. They with this music and this rite of passage are bringing old things thought recovered from to the surface with bitter tears. Memories of times gone, great and seemingly insignificant moments at the same time from when my former wife and I were together. Moments so embedded in my soul and psyche that when they jolt me from the deep it brings me to my knees in emotional pain but also with a deep gratitude for being able to have and shared this experience with her and to know what to do better when I'm with the one God intended for me. After every fleeting attempt to date I'm left so utterly lonely yet will not settle for anything less than what God has for me. Not that the one's I dated were beneath me but we just weren't made for each other. I've dated and known many amazing women that just weren't for me. I'm designed for a specific woman and she for me and God is preparing us for one another as we are being prepared for our life's work. God knows we will need each other going into ministry in the last days. I know His perfect timing will add all things to me longed and desperately prayed for. I'm just left feeling more desolate and farther from her wherever she is after these attempts. I've solidly let go and given it to God. He will have to collide her into me with a blinking yellow arrow over her head saying this is her! I just know she will not be of the world but Spirit filled and full of Jesus and ready to go into the same area of ministry that I am.

It takes a pretty special lady to say she'll passionately follow you for Jesus into parts of the world that most people would call Hell to help reach the lost at the risk of death at any moment. Those kind don't seem to grow on trees! So I'll say no more about it Lord but pray for her safety and protection wherever she is and that she'd know me and that I'd know her when first we meet. I'll pray this faithfully everyday until You bring her to me.

Times connected to vivid memory through smells in the air occur now stronger than before. Jasmine, honeysuckle, good soil, Magnolia trees, Spring and all the longings deep within of the life I know God is preparing for me.

As I've been in this park much lately, all composed of miles of wilderness trails, when I come to a clearing and there's lush green grass accented by vibrant blue skies, offset with budding trees and that light, healing breeze, I want to lift off and just hover over these openings in my spirit. It almost can't be contained. There's a sense in which my spirit wants to touch all the beauty at once rather than just hover over parts. Like an explosion or an expanding. Maybe this is a vision that God is telling me that He's healing years old wounds and giving me back the ground that's been stolen ten fold. That Hes expanding my territory and bringing me into a great harvest of souls.

I know He is doing much and preparing me for much but In my soul (mind, will and emotions) I feel defeated somewhat but yet a major transformation taking place. Maybe not defeated but definitely hindered for a short season. Maybe to break me deeper.

These verbal attacks last week of being called a fake and a hypocrite because I wasn't able to meet the needs of two people the way they thought should happen truly wounded me. I know we will suffer persecution because Jesus did but it really does hurt when you know you are the antithesis of those things. Truth is that the Spirit of God I carry convicted them and they lashed out accordingly. He says the world will hate us because it hated Him first.

As beautiful and full of life and goodness as He is I still cannot fathom how people can not want what He has! He is the source of the peace they seek and the purposes they long for!

I understand the logistics of peoples unbelief because for one they don't want to face themselves and two they are deceived. I face myself daily and make hard decisions based on the best thing for me in His sight but I'm called the coward because I won't take unnecessary risks. Believe me if it's a risk needed to be taken for His cause I would gladly pour out my lifes blood for Him! Happily and eagerly! To live is Christ but to die is gain! I want to be with Him anyways so that would not be hard for me. What is challenging for me is to love people like he did. Truly lost people are easy, it's the people that act in ignorance that have had the privilege of being spoonfed the gospel in America and doing nothing with it that make me nuts!

America is beyond spoiled! We have every resource available to us and yet we still choose not to make a choice. I've heard my converted Muslim brothers stories that brought me to tears. One in particular by the name of Dr. Abraham Sarker. A converted Muslim and missionary to the Muslim people and CFNI graduate. Muslims are very hard people to reach for Christ and very dangerous to attempt to reach in their country.

When Dr. Sarker heard the gospel in his own county (which is a miracle in it self), and received Jesus, all he wanted was a Bible. No where in all their country was a store allowed to carry one and to touch a New Testament was to be defiled and no better than an infidel in the site of an unconverted Muslim. Some of them waited 4 yrs just to get a Bible! And we have an over abundance of resources. Podcasts and numerous bible translations, bookstores and Christian bookstores and so on. Did I mention a church on almost every corner? Heck the fact that we can publicly go to church and worship without being imprisoned or killed is a miracle as well. This is an offence punishable by death in many countries.

I'm just fed up with peoples idiocy. Ignorance is not knowing and Idiocy is not doing anything with the knowledge. I can love them but that doesn't mean I have to like what they do or rather what they don't do. And they can say all they want and call me every name under the sun and that's fine but I'm not gonna just lay down and take it without calling them out. That's the prophet in me. I know the Holy Spirit has to draw them but how many times will they reject and blaspheme before they're out of chances? I won't waste a lot of time but I will make absolutely sure they understand that we are not the problem. It's them and the deception they're under. Now if they are serious and aren't wasting my time then I'll gladly disciple them.

Believe it or not I'm human just like the people that accuse me and many other real Christians of being fake hypocrites. Just because someone is a practicing Christian does not make them freakin' Superman. The same people that love us one minute and then crucify us the next neglect to look beyond their own problems long enough to take into account that we also have things we deal with. And thank God for His grace because without it we would be called and labeled much worse I'm sure.

Christians are not God therefore we're not perfect like Him. We help break down the info so you can digest it and put it to use. But guess what? We get tired, we deal with issues of our own, we fall prey to temptation just like you only its harder for us because were responsible to shepherd all the people that cry when they don't get their way and call us fakes. They often don't have a clue what is demanded of us to even perform at only half capacity. Put yourself in a room full of people that drive you nuts that need help that you also care about and you want them to want help and then maintain self control and stand above reproach to give them what they need. Then you are only seeing a tiny bit into the world of the true Christian. They forget to realize that they are not the only ones reaching out for guidance and half the time they are reaching out they don't want to do what they need to to overcome the problem. So they lash out from the conviction of the Holy Spirit or just to make something happen in their lives that causes movement.

Guess what? You can go to God yourself as well. Jesus died the horrible death that He did so all could come to Him. You can pray and seek Him Just like me. Want to know what He wants and how to find life the right way? Stay sober and get a bible and read it every day. 3 chapters a day and 5 on Sunday is what is recommended.

Want to stop repeating the same self destructive cycle you've been stuck in your whole life? Do the opposite of what your skin want's to do. It will suck for a while but you will get over it. No one ever died from quitting. Pick up a Bible and read it for yourself instead of buying what other people say that don't have a clue what they're talking about because they themselves have not read it.

Excuse the frustration and being all over the map here but much has been occurring. I'm sure many of you can relate to my anxieties over people's quick judgment. It's just time to speak up and stop Tulip prancing if you will, with people. Love them, disciple them, lead them with truth but remind them of humanity and grace and teach them to rely on the creator and not the created. Be mindful of the leading but be correcting and prepared to walk away also. As Jesus said " Do not let the dust settle on your feet".

He's got me and many of us on a journey like never before. We must pay close attention to everything if were to grow from the emotional and spiritual to the physical and relationships. People are brought into our lives for a season for many different reasons. Some for life and others for a brief moment. Learn what you can from them regardless of their, Religious or Political stance. Keep the good from them and throw out the bad. Experience is vital and just because things may not have a "Christian" label on it doesn't mean its all bad. Also teach others the wisdom and knowledge you've acquired from your life experiences to those who will listen and grow. Wisdom passed on is not wisdom wasted. Those that do not keep it for themselves add to the pool of knowledge and benefit the whole of humanity and our world. Extreme times call for extreme measures and what worked for one generation wont always work for another.

May God grant us the wisdom to use the tools and experiences we've been given for the cause of the Gospel and the benefit of the human race.

Miracles at CFNI and at Home

2010-03-12T14:36:00.003-06:00

Miraculous healings have been happening over the last month on a weekly basis at my school CFNI (Christ for the Nations, Dallas). The anointing is extremely heavy there right now. The Shekinah Glory is literally in the House!

3 men were lactose intolerant their whole lives to the point that when they drank milk they would become sick instantly. They were in prayer and all 3 were led to lift up their conditions. They felt funny about it but were obedient. They said in the middle of the prayer they felt a cool tingle coat their stomach and they felt the presence of God. They were then led to go drink some milk at lunch right after class to test that they'd been healed. They drank the milk and were fine. So they went out and bought milk and cereals because of their excitement. (2 things they couldn't have their whole lives). They've been consuming mass amounts of both ever since and are perfectly fine and healed, praise God. This might be kind of small to us but not for them. This is a condition that doesn't just go away. Unless God shows up!

There have been reports of God meeting major financial needs down to the exact cent for specific payments.

Cars being given to those in need (I pray I'm on that list next!).Tuition bills being paid in full by anonymous sources.

People coming to Jesus through many different student ministries and outreaches by the thousands! By the hand of God through these young and on fire people!

Folks with terminal cancers with months to live going in to the docs only to dumbfound them by a clean bill of health!

A female student got up and testified this morning that she was born with an abnormally curved leg that led to painful pressure on the foot that could not be medically corrected. Noticeably curved. She said she was In a simple prayer meeting last night with just a few people praying for various things and felt like someone was grabbing her pinky toe and pulling her leg with no pain. She said it kept feeling that way till the whole leg popped and went straight! She couldn't run or jump before but demonstrated that she could now in front of the whole school.

Personally God has met all my own needs. Not all in the ways I thought would come about but met none the less. I often over analyze and question myself out of a blessing but He has shown me the progress

that has been made in such a short time. I use to smoke for one, for many years and would quit for a time bit always go back and always did so with an aid.

On December 4th 2009 I woke up with the strength and desire to stop like never before and felt God was asking me to quit cold turkey. The last smoke I had was on Dec 3. Never had one since. It's been a short

time but the difference now is that before when I'd quit I never stopped wanting them. I'd smell one and get crazy and start fiending until I gave in. I could never stop thinking about them.

He just took it from me this time. I don't think about them at all. In fact when I smell them now I get literally very nauseous. If I'm in a room where there's smoke I truly end up revolted, sick to my stomach

and sick the next day in the chest like from an allergic reaction to it. As I write this I'm sick again from being in a room full of smoke yesterday where I had to do some computer work. I often prayed to become sick and or allergic to cigarette smoke so I would never go back. This confirms that prayer officially answered!!!

These are just a few of many miraculous things happening on campus at CFNI and in my own life right now.

His Kingdom is coming in full. We in the latter part of Gen X in our 30's are to be the watchmen over the younger generations and the spiritual marker/ monuments to bring back the older gens. We are to be

the solid ones/ Watchmen for this gen. He is growing us and them double time and giving them supernatural ministries of healing and power at an insanely young age. There's never been another gen to advance this fast which should make it clear that God is redeeming the time before the very soon return of Jesus.

The Quiet and the Breaking

2010-02-28T20:39:00.000-06:00

The Quiet and the Breaking: By Matt Scott

I heard a good proverb tonight. If you want to make God laugh, tell Him your plans.

This invokes so many thoughts because Its so true in a strange way. We all have plans and desires but rarely are they executed the way we envisioned. Tonight I come to you a little awkward and emotional so please forgive me. The urge and need to write tonight is uncontrollable, so I pray this hits its target as I empty.

I feel as though I just fully crossed into the quiet years leading up to my ejection into purpose fully realized. These are the years you are scarcely heard or seen as you are being poked, prodded and pruned. The most vital years determining your worth and value, molding the legacy you leave behind. The years you endure and will be the better for, or the years you crack under pressure and never move past, becoming the average statistic and common settler. This may sound harsh but bare with me. There is nothing wrong at all with that life and it is admirable if that is the call on your life. Who knows what can be achieved.But there are so many that have a burning passion to do something great and and an uncommon drive toward some ethereal force pulling them forward to look deeper, seek more, desire the uncommon, fight against the flow, and leave a lasting mark on this world. Not for self serving gratification or such meaningless trivialities, but for the betterment of such a spirit and depth poor humanity stuck in their own nearsighted shallowness.

A Here's a disturbing statistic: 98% of humanity follows the culture of the day and what is acceptable in the eyes of the world, while 2% stand against it and fight with all they have to help wake the sleeper bringing the truth and betterment to an imploding and decaying people.

In other words only 2 percent of people are leaders for the good of humanity. The other leaders fall in that staggering 98%.

Many who are called to be leaders never make it because the give into the pressures of culture and what feels right. These are the same people that go to sleep at night unfulfilled and incomplete. The same people that have the beautiful house, the average marriage, the kids, the nice cars that match the overpaid salary and the dream job. The literal American Dream. This is an awesome life don't get me wrong. One that can be lived happily and fulfilled if that is where it stops for you. I had that life at one time minus the baby that my former wife and I were not able to fully bring into this world. This is such a shallow dream though. It benefits only you and your family. It is possible to have the bold life of leading and the family but it must come in due season. Settling without the proper time allowed for seasoning if you will, will go ahead of God's timing and short circuit the process. This is the scenario that leads to the disgustingly high divorce rate that plagues our country and world. God wants us to have things that bring us happiness but we must realize we were created for a much bigger purpose then just us.

Were here to serve and lead people to the truth of the cross. Especially the ones who've only seen religion but have never seen the real Jesus and what being in relationship with Him looks like. People we need to get over whatever happened to us in a church and realize that that was just man trying to paint their version of a picture of God. Open the Word of God for yourself and mine its treasures instead of judging God on the whims of religion and others hearsay. You will find He is nothing like what has been presented to you in the past. Many churches get it right but you obviously didn't go to that one or I wouldn't need to tell you this. Truth is we've all been to the other church at least once.

Back to the quiet years.

Theologians and commentaries speak of times like those in the Bible. The years when Paul went away after His conversion. The Bible doesn't speak much of what happened in those years other than us having the knowledge of that being the time when He became the man God needed Him to be. The most important mention of quiet years are those of our Savior Jesus. Again, we don't fully know what happened in those years other than preparation for the work of His life which was saving ours. We can't spent a little time away from the people in our circles and then come back saying we're different. Words are often meaningless. That circle will soon see that nothing has changed. Even more so if you had to tell them. But its not about what people think or see.

The greatest changes happen when no one is paying attention. Sometimes we want so badly to show people that were better or changed or different because of the faults they've seen in us prior. You know, the ones that have wounded others that we cover up by saying that the other party was at fault? Truth is even after the quiet years we will still be human and imperfect so quit trying to prove anything to anyone. It's futile. The only time anyone see's difference is when there is difference. We've seen too many movies and think things will happen all cinematically. Sorry to disappoint but we put too much weight on what we see in that little box of alternate realities. Reality is that often God will bring a season to our lives that will not be comfortable but that is necessary. He may have you close doors, end relationships, give things up and so on. This is called dying to self and it hurts bad but leads to that fire deep inside finding form in purpose and leaving you fulfilled abundantly.

Let me catch you up a bit.

I have given up everything to follow Jesus and I don't regret any of it. Many days are tremendously hard. I'd be lying if I told you otherwise. Most all the pain I carry is from choices I made outside of God's will that have affected me one way or another. He still cares for us and has mercy though because He knows we wont always get it right.

I had a smokin hot little wife, gorgeous pets, a home, a successful business with all the money we could spend and all the toys to show for it. I was saved but barely wore the T-shirt. I had my struggles no doubt and she had some big devils to fight herself. This didn't always meet well in the middle. I felt God calling me then to follow Him fully but I couldn't quite merge at the time. I'd felt Him calling me to the ministry as a child too but I had a lot farther to go first. I wanted it to happen with my wife but due to many reasons it didn't. We had our issues, lost an unborn child, and had issues with each other that we just couldn't handle anymore at the time.

I still love her and always will. Often I miss her. We went through so much together. We were married 6 yrs and together for 7 so that was almost a 3rd of my life. I can't help but think that if she were in a different place in her healing and deliverance that we could reconcile and have an amazing addiction deliverance ministry. Who knows what God has in store.

Many days I realize just how much pain and hurt is still with me. Many days I just want Her back whole and healed and with us having the child we almost did. I carried so much pain and hurt from yet farther back that still creeps up every so often as well. God is doing a major work in me and has changed much but I'm also still very human at times.

In the almost 3 years since the divorce I have sold or lost almost everything I own. Just recently lost my truck. Because I decided it was time to stop fighting my calling and go to school for ministry I can only work part time so the last of the major expenses are now gone. All I own now is my clothing, laptop, phone and a few other personal effects. God is providing in the most miraculous ways though. I'm so thankful for my folks in all this right now. They gave me a paid for car to use through school and have helped me financially through this patch. Thankfully I got my old job back even at part time. At 31 living back at home, divorced with hardly anything to my name and have had to depend on others to get through. All this after great success according to the worlds standards. Very humbling indeed.

I know that I'm following the call on my life though so I'm willing to make the sacrifices to follow Jesus knowing that He will honor my diligence with blessing. He doesn't have to of course but I would still love Him and do it all the same. I just have a peace though that its all going to start becoming clear soon and making sense fully. Many others believe in this path for me as well and have confirmed it by their own sacrifices to help me get to school which is honoring and humbling all the same.

We never know where we will land sometimes and we never truly value what a gift life is until we've lost everything. Which is a really good place to be because God can use us then. You may be in a situation like I described earlier where you just feel you were meant for more. You have that nagging tug at your spirit to go deeper, to look beyond what you can see with your eyes, to reach for more than what the world and physical life offers. My friend that feeling is God drawing you into a more meaningful life that is meant to go beyond you and to help many others.

Don't be afraid to let it all go if asked. Don't be afraid to look like a fool. Never mind what people say or think as long as you follow your own convictions. As you start to let go you may have a season where its just you and God which is good. But know it can at times be very lonely, very trying and can draw you near to insanity, but hold on because it will pass and you will have grown for the better. Your flesh will tug at you during this time for the things it is use too and knows. All this depravity is against its nature. Then you add the spiritual attacks into the mix and you've got yourself a good fight. Friend let me tell you from much experience going back and fourth, if you have not developed a daily prayer and Bible reading life and a relationship with Jesus you will fail every time. Sometimes we can fail even with those things which guarantees failure without them. We have moments of major weakness that we must push through in prayer to cross over to the shores of deliverance.

Times of quiet solitude and times of breaking are both painful and full of blessing. We learn and grow through them. They are absolutely necessary to become what you were meant to be and they are necessary to please our God. It's never easy and often painful but so worth the endurance. Who wants to make it to the end of their life only to say I'm not finished? No one does but most do. This is sad but true. Most including Christians spend most of they're lives searching for pleasure and creature comforts while seeking God. Though nothing is wrong with those things lest they become idols exalted above God, they often become our main focus. Our main focus should always be God and when that is the desire of our hearts then He is our treasure. The Bible says where our treasure lies there also lies our hearts.

All I'm saying and have been purveying through all these entries in an attempt to bridge the gap between theology and relativity can be summed up quite simply in this: But seek (aim at and strive after) first of all His kingdom and His righteousness (His way of doing and being right), and then all these things taken together will be given you besides. (Matthew 6:33 AMP)

Just diligently seek Him, search the scriptures and in turn let them search you. Follow what Jesus says and apply it to life. He will then take care of all the rest. Don't get frantic or too anxious because change takes time and a season. He will take you from glory to glory but in between requires teaching and breaking. This is the way to let loose that driving passion in you.

Or you can do nothing, be nothing, effect nothing and stay right where you are only to be separated as chaff from the wheat and thrown into the fire as waste. Harsh I know but this is scriptural. If you have something to give the world or have always been a leader or felt as one then this is your call to greatness. Let the quiet and the breaking shape you. There's a lost and dying world out there that needs you desperately. You were created to give them something only you can and to do nothing would rob more than just you. Time is very short and the harvest is still great. Will you answer the call that requires endurance?

The Earthsuit Hybrid

2010-02-21T22:16:00.000-06:00

The Earthsuit Hybrid. By Matt Scott

The picture of religion for us as part of Gen X growing up was a very uncomfortable one. It was all hellfire and brimstone and anything you do that causes the most remote thought of sin or pleasure is so wrong. Yes there is consequence to sin but God says He will never leave nor forsake us. That means He won't let us get too far away before He hooks our jaw and yanks us back to Him. Not that we should push our luck, and if our minds are renewed to the word then were not going to willingly want to sin anyways.

I was thinking not long ago that He made us a 2 part being. Flesh and Spirit. Which is amazing and bewildering all at the same time.

We have our flesh which is our vehicle in this world and our Spirit which is our true being, and it being confined in the flesh puts us in the first grade of spiritual survival 101 . It cannot exist in it's true form yet because it must learn the spiritual basics in a protective article of clothing. A fire suit . We don't know how to operate enough in the spirit yet to survive in that realm. Were learning how to be with God and how to understand His concepts. But were doing it in a very needy car that always wants to go the direction of it's environment.

Our fire suit an earthsuit if you will, so it craves earthly things. As Christians we must do things that feed and teach our true self and that causes conflict in us because it goes against what the earthsuit wants.

The relation to right and wrong, we equate way to much to feeling and emotion. The ways of the earthsuit. This is why the Bible says to lean not on our own understanting but in all our ways acknowledge Him and He will direct our paths.

My original thinking was why would God make us a 2 part being if it was all about existing as a pure spirit in a jacked up car if we were only to be spiritual. That would be cruel. Like a rabbit having a carrot drawing him towards it but the never getting the tasty morsel in front of him. I realized that would be a god I wouldn't like serving. This is where religion vs relationship goes.

So I went deeper and said to myself that there must be a reason because He wouldn't have done it without one.

He takes pleasure in our pleasure as long as it's within the confines of biblical context and that pleasure does not rob us of self control leading to addiction, defilement and idolatry caused by our hearts worshiping the thing that has consumed us as a god.

We are to learn basic spiritual concepts in this body. It's bigger than just the bible and man and the story. That's the meat and foundation and our reason for existence but after this little blip on the radar there will be so much more. Laws of physics and realms to which we cannot fathom, the absence of time, other levels of learning and so on. Were so focused on getting to tomorrow that we miss out on today and all the amazing things in it, and religion steals that. Religion is when man takes scripture out of context and puts stipulations and twisted doctrine towards forming an organized method of conformity to a sect based on scriptures and their beliefs on what those scriptures mean but by no means are scripturally sound according to the Bible. Completely false doctrine is what forms man created religions like Mormonism, Islam, Catholicism (by works, not by grace and faith) Which is clearly against biblical teaching. Most often these men are influenced demonically. (Look up the origin of Islam and Mohamed's meeting with the demon that is called an angel. Also in the Koran) When this occurs there is mass blindness. There are so many "christian" sects that have added or taken away so much that it voids the scriptures and the purpose of knowing Jesus all together. The pure unbroken, un added to or taken from, Word of God will never steer you wrong. But being a true Christian requires much of us. In fact it requires everything. The metaphysical topic I speak of here is just to unpack a little more of the awesomeness of being a hybrid being of flesh and spirit and the effects of feeding one or the other.

What Jesus commands of us are things that break the flesh so the spirit can thrive and prosper. It's painful to the flesh but essential for the spirit. We will be in eternity forever so God will have unlimited things for us to do and discover and be a part of so we will always be growing and evolving, but we've got to get through first grade to know how to function in that realm. Eternity is forever so I'm sure He must have an awful lot for us to do which will keep us constantly evolving spiritually. I personally would love to travel the cosmos by thought or even propulsion and see all the amazing feats of God's creation that we can even get close to here in our limited and fragile earthsuit. I'm speaking in the scientific realm of metaphysics. That word has always sent shivers down the spines of the religious community because they equate it right away to the occult or new age movements. I assure you that nothing I produce will teach anything other than the biblical truth. I just like to indulge a sanctified imagination at times to open a topic up a little more. I'm merely relating to deeper spiritual concepts that deal with the different laws of the spiritual realm and how the absolutely necessary teachings of Jesus in regards to how our physical conduct directly relates to our spiritual growth ensuring success in that realm upon exiting the earthsuit. The most important thing of any of it is receiving Jesus as our Lord and savior, accepting His heavy payment for our forgiveness, forgiving others and ourselves. Without this step the rest of anything is all ashes and dust and completely irrelevant. A purposeless and enigmatic enigma floating around in the wasted hybrid beauty of a flesh and spirit earthsuit.

Gods grace and forgiveness is amazing and I'm so thankful. But always remember that you're spirit and human. That means part of our nature is to mess up. Even big sometimes but as long as we repent and come back asap we are ok. Now that's given we truly repent, which means to turn from doing and being that way. Don't think you wont learn something though if you apply wisdom there. He can use the bad greatly and work it in time for the good. He never loves us any less but we will let go of Him long before He lets go of us. He pursues us like a passionate lover seeking our hand in marriage and He never changes His mind about the lover He's seeking. He is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow. Messing up is OK but continuing in that state on purpose is not. There's is so much to do and learn in our short sojourn of existence on earth. If we are obedient to Jesus and love Him we will be able to fulfill the great commission, love properly, live fully and spiritually grow automatically as a product of the a fore mentioned scenario. Our growth and the benefit of others via our ministry in Jesus for spreading the gospel in a relevant manner to the person or peoples in front of us is truly dependent on seeking His kingdom first in all things, to which Jesus says all things will be added to us. Really a pretty simple concept in which to gain all He has for us and fulfill our purpose. Makes having an earthsuit a little more interesting when the spiritual manifests physical results. You gotta love the simplicity of that seeing how we overly complicate everything. The wise confounded by the simple. Aah simplicity..how effective art thou to unfurrow the downcast brow.

No Condemnation!!! By Matt Scott

2010-02-19T01:06:00.006-06:00

No Condemnation!!! By Matt Scott

I hate addiction and the enemies tactics in this area with a passionate hatred. I know what it did to me. I've seen good people and families destroyed, marriages crumble and close friends die from it all. I live to fight this war now. It makes me rage and want deliverance for our brothers and sisters even more. I heard a brother once say that what you are most passionate about fighting against is most likely going to be your strongest area of ministry.

It almost begs the question: were we never to succumb to addiction or weakness in a specific are for a long season in our lives, would our ministries or the direction of our lives be going where they are now as a respective outcome of the battle? This of course is a multifaceted teaching and one I could write an entire book on alone. What a worthy cause though, to be a face of freedom to the burdened and to teach how to attain that freedom. Ex addicts never forget from whence they came and can become world changers when that freeing power through Jesus is released and poured over into others seeking deliverance.

I was counseling a friend tonight that had confided in me that there had been a momentary lapse of reason that led to a brief fall to a prior addiction. She is already a powerful tool in God's hands for combating the enemy in others lives regarding addiction and I know that this is an attack to try and prevent a powerful ministry from forming. I related that I too have my struggles and that there's a balance between winning and being prone to temptation. Even when our minds are fully renewed to the word of God we still fall prey to the flesh at times. Even more so when amplified by an atmospheric influx of demonic influence trying to alter our mind, will and emotions, which combined is the make up of our very soul. When flesh and soul have been compromised by the enemy it becomes very hard to stand. All these things effect our ability immunize against the enemy because we become overwhelmed mentally, physically and spiritually. All it takes is a brief moment when we get in our own power or allow a negative thought to take root even just for a second to lead to a fall.

We of ourselves can do nothing. It is only The Holy Spirit that empowers us to overcome. When we get overwhelmed or in our own power then we are more likely to fall. This is not to make light of sin but it's ok if we fall as long as we get back up and keep fighting. The enemy will come at you with condemnation right after he tempts you to fall. Take note that guilt and condemnation are from the enemy, whereas conviction is from the Lord. Conviction is that gentle nudge that something needs to be looked at and changed (with His help) vs. ( I'm such an unworthy worm that did "it" again. With His help this too shall pass. Below are a few of the things that I ministered and I felt led to share.

Remember this:

Your greatest misery can become your greatest ministry. God needs real people to lead others

Guess what? The fact that you are vulnerable to temptation makes you human and real. That's the only kind of person God can use. How relevant would someone be in teaching how to overcome something of they weren't still prone to the temptation? When you still hate the addiction even when you're delivered then you are the most effective in ministry. When it's long gone and you don't remember the vise that it was then you're less effective.

It's the proverbial Pauline thorn in the side.

Don't forget the great ones of old. David killed a man and took his wife. David's son Solomon was the wisest and wealthiest man that ever lived but also lived a life of much excess in all areas prior to serving the Lord. Moses murdered a man. Mary Magdalene was a prostitute. Paul was called an enemy of God who murdered Christians but became the very man responsible for us Gentiles receiving the gospel. Peter was given to anger. But these were all people whom God loved dearly. They were real and useable and they changed the world.

The attacks are going to increase in frequency the closer you get to the goal. We just have to realize were not only fighting flesh but also a highly enraged enemy because of his limited time left to persecute the church. Here's some good food for thought.

Ephesians 6:12-13 (Amplified Bible)

¹²For we are not wrestling with flesh and blood [contending only with physical opponents], but against the despotisms, against the powers, against [the master spirits who are] the world rulers of this present darkness, against the spirit forces of wickedness in the heavenly (supernatural) sphere.

¹³Therefore put on God's complete armor, that you may be able to resist and stand your ground on the evil day [of danger], and, having done all [the crisis demands], to stand [firmly in your place].

Speak over yourself that you are not an addict! You are free. When you really believe that then you will be fully delivered. When I finally got that deep down in me I was truly set free. Now with the lust issues I fight it by renewing my mind to the word daily. I wasn't doing that before. It's still a struggle but it's getting better. Remember that faith the size of a mustard seed is enough to point at that mountain in front of you and tell it to be removed and it be cast into the sea. I know full deliverance will be mine. And yours. Keep hope, don't allow it to be robbed. Keep believing even when it looks impossible. Nothing is impossible for God. Keep your mind renewed to the word of God by reading it daily. It doesn't take much. As Freda Lindsay, the co founder of Christ for the Nations swears by, read 3 chapters a day during the week and 5 on Sunday. Its simple and it works. She says she's never seen folks fall who make this a discipline.

Know that our Father loves you and He's not looking at everything you've done wrong but everything you're doing right. If you have children and they mess up, do you love them any less when they do? Of course not! You just teach them to obey and do better and try harder. Then they say they're sorry (repent) and go right on back outside and play. He too loves and corrects us but He also wants us to enjoy the journey. Take some time to have a little fun and just live. He takes pleasure in our pleasure as long as its not contrary to the word.

We will let go of Him long before He will let go of us!

He loves you and you have been set free. Embrace it. Just keep moving forward in light of His love.

The Discipline of Forgiveness

2010-02-11T18:11:00.001-06:00

The Discipline of Forgiveness

This was a very profound teaching we had today at CFNI from our teacher in Personal Discipleship. Pastor Adam McCain. I took notes on paper so I will attempt to reproduce it as compiled as possible. This teaching was too revelatory not to share so here it is.

Hebrews 12:15 is the core scripture for this teaching. I prefer scripture in the Amplified Bible so it is posted as such below.

¹⁵Exercise foresight and be on the watch to look [after one another], to see that no one falls back from and fails to secure God's grace (His unmerited favor and spiritual blessing), in order that no root of resentment (rancor, bitterness, or hatred) shoots forth and causes trouble and bitter torment, and the many become contaminated and defiled by it-- (Hebrews 12:15 AMP)

Two Sources of Bitterness:

1. Personal Offense- Intense feelings of emotional hurt because you feel you have been wronged by someone.

2. Secondary Offense- Intense feelings of emotional hurt you feel because someone close to you has been wronged.

Bitterness will literally make you bitter and poison your whole body. It will not only effect just you but also those close to you and around you.

Stages of Bitterness: Absalom. 2 Samuel 13:1-29

I'm not going to post the scripture here due to it's length but I encourage you to look it up for yourself.

1. You perceive an injustice
2. You are offended ("That is not right"!)
3. Emotions arise (Anger, Insecurity, Resentment)
4. You desire the other party to make it right
5. Bitterness sets in

Negative effects bitterness will have on your life.

1. Bitterness will place a strain on your relationships with others
2. Bitterness places a strain on your relationship with God
(Matthew 6:15 AMP)¹⁵But if you do not forgive others their trespasses [their reckless and willful sins, leaving them, letting them go, and giving up resentment], neither will your Father forgive you your trespasses.
3. Bitterness causes you to live with a victim mentality instead of a victorious mentality
4. Bitterness will effect your emotional and physical health. Luke 17:3-5, Romans 12:17-21, Colossians 3:12-13, Matthew 5

Proof that you have forgiven

1. You stop replaying the offense in your mind
2. You are able to speak kindly of the other party
3. There is no desire to see them hurt
4. You are able to sincerely pray for them

And here's the stinger. A quote from Pastor Adam McCain himself:

You only love God as much as you love your worst enemy!
Ouch! That ought to make us really take a good look within and ask ourselves those questions of often the closest people in our lives. I wish I could convey all the dialogue that went with this teaching today because it truly was life changing and thought provoking. Forgiveness is absolutely required to be forgiven but aside from that it will prolong our own lives. Bitterness and unforgiveness has been medically and scientifically proven to be the largest stimulants to cancer and other life threatening diseases. God's commands are not easy, challenging and sometimes have the initial response of you wanting to vomit because of what He asks of us. These things are good. They grow and stretch us, make us better people and effect our society positively. And God knows we need that!

May He bring revelation and insight to you through this study.

Shalom

Matt PYXRUEEKV6KP

In Due Season

2010-02-11T16:50:00.000-06:00

Hello my friends. I'm sorry you've not gotten a fresh blog from me for a little while. I promise I will be remaining faithful to this blog. I have started seminary at CFNI and have been acclimatizing to the schedule. God is doing a major work in me and changing many things at a very rapid pace. Some things I've desired for many years and many things are whole new concepts to me.

   What I want to speak to you about is keeping your hope and trusting God. As many of you know I have had much confusion, self indulgence and things I thought impossible to change prior to giving my life back to Jesus fully. with that said, He takes us from glory to glory, meaning from one overcome trial to another. Which in essence strengthens and shapes us into who we are becoming.

There were some things recently that had started to take root in me seemingly without me noticing. I had gotten so comfortable being a Christian that accepted my weaknesses that were so intensely strong that I ultimately allowed them to exist by telling myself that eventually in due season it would leave me or God would deal with it. This is completely wrong! I knew it was wrong but the enemy was given reign over that area of my life by me allowing it to happen. By me doing nothing about it other than stressing and bringing it before God asking Him to take it I was guaranteed failure. God will be faithful to deliver us but we must also meet Him as we give it over to Him. We show Jesus we love Him by our actions and what our faith produces. We cannot just call ourselves Christians and wear the T-shirt and expect anything to change. Nor can we expect to enter into His kingdom should we exit this planet in such a convenient and selfish condition. If it cost Jesus everything, including His life, do you really think we can just use our petty words to speak out that we believe in a man that was historically proven to exist and acquire Heaven upon death? What an easy and unaccountable religion. Our obedience and self-denial is required as well. Our forgiving one another is also required for the forgiveness of our sins. This is for any offense we may receive from something minute all the way to the murder of a child. Let me first expound on the realm of self-sacrifice with scripture.

Matthew 7:22-24 (Amplified Bible)²²Many will say to Me on that day, Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in Your name and driven out demons in Your name and done many mighty works in Your name?
    ²³And then I will say to them openly (publicly), I never knew you; depart from Me, you who act wickedly [disregarding My commands].
    ²⁴So everyone who hears these words of Mine and acts upon them [obeying them] will be like a sensible (prudent, practical, wise) man who built his house upon the rock.

   Really our loving Him comes down to obedience and giving up our own comforts and pleasures to follow Him. He will call upon you to account for every area of your life eventually. Its painful and often we rebel and run but this is futile. Every knee will bow before the Lord one day. For those of us who sincerely love Him and want His kingdom manifested upon the earth instead of the kingdom of filth and lies that exists now, then we know these temporary pains are good for us.

   Obedience is so important. One because we love Him, two because it is commanded and three because it produces the real change and good fruit in our lives were seeking. No pain, no gain right? Where do you think that saying came from?

   The thing I mentioned earlier that I struggled with I have not submitted to for almost a week now. Its getting easier but still writhes and thrashes uncontrollably for a little while each day. Eventually it will pass when kept in check. The freedom in the spirit when you're in obedience is unprecedented. You can actually raise your hands in worship because you are not over burdened with guilt and condemnation.This is no small feat because this thing is the offshoot of another area of my former life that was allowed to come into my new life with Jesus unchecked. The larger root sin has been dealt with but this smaller one has been trying to hang on for dear life. But as it is choked out it looses its power. This is relevant with any stronghold. Take its power and you take its strength. This is impossible without Jesus though. Until we want Him and the life He designed us to live for, our quitting anything is truly a futile attempt. First determine that you are going to make Jesus your God. I don't mean accept Him as Lord and Savior. You've already done that. Did you know that you can recieve Jesus but still have other gods before Him in your life? Anything that takes precedence over God is a god in your life.

Examples of other gods; Money, TV, Work, Your Wife or Husband, Your Kids, Sex, Drugs, Pornography, Your friends, Cars, Toys, etc. Many of these things are perfectly fine in context but if they take more precedence and importance over God, then they have taken His place. Balance and inward reflection is the key. Many of these obviously state that you have not let go of selfishness and pleasure yet which means that you really need to get free if you're going to serve the Lord.

   It is possible to trade the things you love so much that gratify the flesh for the things that God loves that gratifies the spirit. Trust me, if I can be free anyone can!

I don't want you to be overwhelmed and feel like it is impossible. You may feel so far away from even desiring to desire the things of God but being a Christian and following God is too often based on feeling which is not true. Sure oftentimes good feelings are produced but its more on faith and action. It often doesn't feel good or you may feel that your mood is dependent on God moving. Not so. It's the condition of your heart that matters.

You've got to get your head out of the way and just decide that you are tired of living the way that you are, give it to God and allow Him to work. You will have to give it to Him completely and trust that He will do what His word says He will do. You must renew your mind to the word of God. Read it every day even if just a few scriptures. Also develop your personal relationship with Jesus. I know that whole phrase is so cliche but what it really looks like is prayer and just talking to Him everyday. No magic pill, no creepy seance. Just you being real before God.

As you allow His word to expose the sin in your life and renew and change you, you will start to see that You have the faith you need to overcome anything.

   I was hooked on cigarettes and many other things for over 16 years. I loved smoking and due to my melancholy and depressive former nature I didn't care that I may die a horrific and early death. Sure I didn't want to be dependent on and owned by a very expensive little pack of items that I required daily for normality. But my early choices of experimentation gave way to addiction and gave the enemy authority over my life in that area. (by the way I'll touch on this topic in depth in a blog soon).

    Quitting anything was pointless until I had a reason to quit. A really good reason, not just death. Were such finite creatures that the promise of death doesn't phase us unless it's a present reality. Jesus and finding that driving purpose I sought was my reason big enough to quit. I knew I would die empty and unsatisfied if I did not find my calling.

Here's a news flash: No one will find their purpose or reason for existence until they find themselves in Jesus. Fight it and deny it all you want but you will find it to be true. Things finally start making sense and clicking when you submit to Jesus.

On the smoking. I quit time and time again with patches and just about every other quitting aid on the market. It would last for a while but ultimately it just prolonged getting all the crap out of my body that needed to get out.

Here's the thing; I was trusting in the aid to deliver me and not Jesus. My faith was in the patch. Though I was confessing that I had faith, I was trusting the weening tool. Finally after many years of failing and going back to smoking I threw up my hands and said that's it! God I'm giving this to You. I was to the point that I didn't want to have my day, mood or attitude determined by anything other than Jesus again and I knew it would cost me dearly to get to the benefit of freedom. A cost I'm so glad I paid. I quit cold turkey. My patch this time was Jesus. It was painful but this time taught me to really depend on Him and on prayer more. It drove me to the Bible for strength when I was weak by believing in His promises and reciting them. Eventually He became my desire more than the smokes or drugs. You will get the results of what you feed. If you feed the flesh you get fleshy results and if you feed the spirit you get spiritual results. The cost was weeks of uncomfortableness and high irritability and a constant nagging that had made me give up before.

Its easier to stay addicted to something then to do something about it. That is relevant for anything that needs to change for our betterment. It was worth all the pain. In my book, Bleeding the Thorns I journal part of this time day by day and what I experienced. You can pick up a copy at theunknownauthor.net. The link is also posted under the useful links section of my blog page.

   I have a new addiction now. Breaking things off that hold me down. I had gotten to like certain types of pain in my life when I was not living for Christ and by His grace that has transferred to liking the pain of being broken for Christ. There is still much work to be done but I will be obedient to the point of death for my betterment and for my Jesus.

   My friends let me encourage you that if you just don't give up and keep bringing your struggles to the King with a sincere desire to be free and know Him, no matter how many times you have failed, you stay in the word of God and develop your prayer life, He will deliver you in due season. You will find your way and your purpose in Him and He will be faithful to complete the work He started in you and bring you to your destination.

³³But seek (aim at and strive after) first of all His kingdom and His righteousness (His way of doing and being right), and then all these things taken together will be given you besides.

                                                                                                                    Matthew 6:33 (Amplified Bible)

I Need Your Support For Missions

2010-01-23T19:41:00.000-06:00

BLOG.THEUNKNOWNAUTHOR.NET published a new entry entitled "Matt Scott "Relative Transparency in Christ"" on 1/23/2010 1:14:06 PM, written by The Unknown Author.

Matt Scott "Relative Transparency in Christ"

Request for Prayer and Finances for Papua New Guinea Mission.

My Friends

My prior missions trip to Israel has been canceled due to unforseen reasons and I have been fortunate enough to have the opportunity to join the Papua New Guinea team. I have revised the contact info for the head of this mission as well as a few other things but this is primarily the same support letter I sent prior. Again thank you for your prayers or support.

I humbly come before you in earnest request for your prayers and or
support.

After many years of living lost even though knowing the truth of
Jesus, I found I was only wearing the t-shirt and not living for Him.
2 yrs ago after my divorce I had all but given up on life.

After calling out to God many times He revealed my purpose. I've
always known deep down but ran from it.

Now I accept it gratefully and with great joy. The Lord has called me
to ministry. As many of you know I have fully given my life back to
Christ, have been writing and most importantly am attending Christ for
the Nations Bible College. (CFNI). I'm finishing my 3rd week now.

I'm called to Pastoral and to be a Communicator. I've also felt a
strong call to missions. My gift is in communication through showing
own scars and wounds to help others with theirs.

My ministry is Relative Transparency in Christ which is also the name
of my book and blog. Theunknownauthor.net will lead you to it under
the ebook link should you want to inquire.

Many of you have had significant roles in my life, have ministered to
me, discipled me and have spoken great words over me that have never
left me and led me to the point I am now.

In preparation for ministry and missions I'm serving one day a week at
Mission Arlington and work two jobs. With school I can only work so
many hours. I attend school 8 to 12 Monday- Friday and Tuesday nights.
So work is limited. I'm doing automotive electrical 4 days a week and
delivering pizzas a few nights a week for gas to get to and from school.

I cannot get financial aid because CFNI does not allow it. They don't
want us in debt when we graduate and I'm ok with that but it is
stretching my faith greatly.

I do not make enough to cover my bills nor tuition. By the grace of
God My Pastor is supporting to go to CFNI. My church helps with half
my monthly installments because they believe in me and support
missions. They are committed to help as much as they can and were they
not I would not be attending.

My Pastor is also mentoring me and is becoming my spiritual Father
more every day. Through our prayers and the Lords leading he is the
one who helped lead me to CFNI.

I've got a required summer course to take and it is a missions trip.
It can be taken any summer semester but I have a sense of urgency to
go this summer.

The Lord has put a deep love and burden in my heart for the mission field

The missions trip I have signed up for this summer was Israel but due to various reasons the mission has been canceled. The next on my list which I was fortunate to get in on is the mission to Papua New Guinea. I am
believing in faith that it has been saved for such a time as this.

I have wasted many years of my life due to bad decisions, drugs,
marriage to the wrong person for me, you name it. But I know God is
the redeemer of time. I love Jesus with all my heart and just want to
take Him to the Nations. I fully lay down my life for Him now and that
my testimony should be told to help others.

The cost of this trip plus summer tuition are around the ballpark of
$4,100 to $5,000 dollars. That doesn't cover my time off of work or
Any bills. I have already sold almost all I have to just be able to
attend school.

There is no way on my own income I can make this by the end of April.
We leave in May.

The Bible says we have not because we ask not. And that we are of
little faith.

I believe in the same faith it took to see the lame walk, the blind
see and the dead raised. I want my own ministry to be marked with
these things. If we can believe for that from the creator of all
things then surely financial provision to reach the ends of the earth
with His message is nothing.

What I am asking of you in faith is to please prayerfully seek the
Lord and ask Him if this is something you would consider supporting.
Either in prayer or financially, however possible if you are led.

I will have a formal letter sent out from the school asap regarding this
fund raiser and prayer support.

The dates of the trip would be May 9-23rd 2010.

The person over this mission is as follows:

Scott Cowley. CFNI Dallas.
817-302-6371
missions@cfni.org or scottcowley@msn.com

My Contact info is:

Matthew Scott
817-308-3425
great78ster@gmail.com

1550 N Main St Lot 86
Mansfield, TX 76063

To those who know me and have spoken into my life I thank you from the
bottom of my heart for not giving up on me and continuously lifting me
up in prayer. For your guidance and help financially before. And for
loving and not judging me I sincerely thank you.

Any prayer requests you may have please send them to me and I will
return the favor.

I thank you in advance for your prayers and support. I just ask that
you please pray on this. I desperately need your help. Please also
forward this email to anyone you know or feel led to that wants to
support missions and a pastor to be.

In the love and thankfulness of Jesus.

Matthew Scott.

If you would like to support Matt Scott financially to be able to go to Papua New Guinea, click below:

Matt Scott Mission Fund

Click on the Donate Button
Permalink: blog.theunknownauthor.net/2010/01/23/matt-scott-relative-transparency-in-christ.aspx

What Legacy are You Leaving the World? By Matthew Scott

2009-12-23T01:23:00.001-06:00

What Legacy are You Leaving the World? By Matthew Scott

   I've been thinking a lot about the legacy I want to leave behind when I exit this planet. Of course it will be for my God but I want it to be revolutionary. Ultimately He has determined what it will be since He's already gone before me and knows all my day's of existence, past, present and future. I know whatever it is it will not be common. I know it will be very extreme and probably push the envelope on contemporary Christianity and even start some fires. Let it be known that I will never add to or take away from the word of God but rather re-present it in a fresher and more relative package. More love, grace and forgiveness than hellfire and brimstone tactics but with the fearless spirit of a prophet unafraid to speak the truth. I care about people and will never be a pushy and forceful teacher of the truth. The job of The Holy Spirit is to convict the heart, not mine. My job is to plant the seed while teaching and offering the truth of the Cross. Though I will continue to do so in a relative and transparent matter, hence the blog and book title. I'm not here to necessarily make friends but help make citizens of the Kingdom of God. God give me the grace to stand firm.

   Many people are so private and closed off that their lives will essentially pass through the ages seemingly unnoticed. That doesn't lessen their worth at all or make them any less effective in their purpose. God can do anything through anyone. A person could simply be diligent to teach a Sunday school class every week for over 20 yrs and reach one person such as the Reverend Billy Graham who then reaches millions and millions later throughout his life. Which is the very beginning of how Reverend Graham came to be who he is. By listening to that teacher every Sunday morning it sparked in him something that gave him purpose and reason for living and he followed that fire. He has been called the greatest evangelist that ever lived and is responsible for a major chunk of heavens population. This all from one teacher who's name you most likely don't know.

   There always comes along that one person that takes it to the next level that pushes against the odds. One of the first rules of aerodynamics is that flying into the wind quickly increases altitude. Likewise as we face interference in life for what we live and fight for, we will rise on the winds of adversity. Never let anyone take what God has birthed in your heart no matter what pious and religious propaganda they pump down your throat. As long as you are convicted to do so by The Holy Spirit and your vision is not contrary to the word of God then you keep fighting for it. Often I feel I'm starting to lean more toward the insane side because of my extremism but then I get confirmation from many different places that I'm on the right road. You must know that you are being led of The Spirit or it is all for not.

   A major part of my legacy will be the grace God gave me to lay my guard down to expose my darkest inner demons and how I deal with them to the world. If my own brokenness and wretched way's I fight so hard can be of value to you or anyone else then my life inside and out is yours to view. I've been humbled and brought low to reach the broken and hurting like myself through relative transparency and the insights I learn and pass on along the way. And I wouldn't change it. Being humbled and brought low is an awesome place to be because it tears away the illusion of godhood and us attempting to control our lives. When we are there then God can build us up into exactly what He wants us to be. Essentially when we are operating as He made us to be then we will be completely fulfilled because the things we long for so bad that we don't fully understand are the very things He made us for that is what completes us. Wrap your mind around that! So really when you let go and submit to God you are giving up nothing but gaining everything as well as your identity! I sure wouldn't want to exist without that.

   We need to take time to step away from the noise as often as possible to stay in tune with our own voices and the voice of God so we do not become fragments of everyone else's thought's, opinions and advice. In a world where there are many influences striving for our affections and media propaganda dominating our TV's, roadways and computers, it is absolutely vital to our existence to take time to know thyself.

   You've got to know who you are to know what you were created for. You can't please everyone all the time and others will not always agree with you. That's OK! If the above mentioned was not the case you would be a clone of everyone else. I don't know where you stand but I take great pride in my individuality. You were created for a purpose. Have you given up on the treasure hunt of you because what you've found deep within scares you to your core? Don't let it scare you but rather let it drive you to change. Nothing can hide in darkness when the glory of God shines on it. Ask Him to bring that nightmare to the light so you can face it and become who you were born to be.

If you died today what kind of a legacy would you leave behind?

   Are you so tied to your possessions that if they were taken from you you wouldn't want to live? Do you worry about money so much that you have been rendered incapacitated when you're strapped? Have you placed another person in your life on a pedestal so high above God that they block out His light? Are you so addicted to something that your whole day is based on when the dosing times are? Have you merged into someone else's dreams because you are so broken with lowered self-esteem from previous failures that it's easier for you to follow instead of lead? Have the hurtful words of someone close to you negatively molded your character effecting everything you do and how you react to life?

Hurt and failure are not always bad things but rather teachers in which to learn from should you heed the experience.

   You may not like where I just took you and that's OK. Again I'm not here necessarily to make you like me but to give you the truth and help awaken things long dead in you that make you who you are. Should you choose to journey within and give in to the healing touch of our Father as you deal with these things you will start to feel life seeping back into you and remember why you still wake up. Next thing you know you will be waking up on purpose.

   As I've gone through these last few years God has really done a major work in me because I faced my own demons and allowed Him to work. A key factor in your healing will be staying still and trusting Him no matter what and regardless how long it takes. Even when it feels as if nothing is changing, believe me it is. Be still and know that He is God. (Psalm 46:10). I have been hopeless and at the end of my desire to live. But He changed that and allowed me to be tired of living how I was instead of being tired of living. He gave me the grace, mercy and strength to be rebuilt, restored and renewed and where I am now is so amazing when looking back at just a short time ago. And the best is yet to come!

   I encourage you to embrace your fears with God. Let Him wrap your cold and broken heart in His healing warmth. Give up the fight and the control you never really had and pursue your destiny and your dreams once again after being asleep for so long. He is calling you to His peace and loving rest and offering you the chance to continue writing the beautiful legacy I know you will leave behind when its all said and done.

Facing the Place it all Started. By Matthew Scott

2009-12-17T16:34:00.001-06:00

Facing the Place it all Started. By Matthew Scott

This whole week has had a theme of enduring storms, going through hardships for temperance and how suffering is the best cleansing agent for the old to bring in the new. I've been experiencing, writing about and teaching of the experience of these things for a while but it seems that today was a landmark I pray that will catapult me into the healing side of the theme.

I really would like to write about more positive things and I do have a good outlook despite my experience and believe God is bringing good things. Let it be noted that I try very hard not to complain and I don't focus on the negative. With that said I feel God is using my experiences mixed with a gift of conveyance through writing to reach and relate to broken and hurting people and to shed some light and hope that these things will pass.

If you want a disgustingly happy and almost unrealistic approach to achieving happiness and "Your best life Now" then read a Joel Osteen book. No disrespect to Mr Osteen, he simply has a different ministry than I. His family has done much for the kingdom of God and their testimonies have changed many lives. His mother Dodi's is especially amazing. She believed God and his word so deeply that she was delivered of terminal cancer by literally standing on God's word.

What you will find in my text is brutal and often painful truth. Hopefully through the counsel of The Holy Spirit truth that will set you free.

For me, experience combined with wisdom (which is the application of knowledge) is the best remedy along with trust in what Jesus did for us and prayer that never ceases.

I went for my four mile walk today at the place I usually go. What I had forgotten was that before this trail was constructed, the place it all started was somewhere along that path. I'd seen it many times and knew it was there and would just remember to myself and keep walking.

I was even trying to talk myself into a nap instead of going beforehand. I'm glad I didn't because God was up to something.
I'll come back to this but need to go over the events leading to re-discovering the place.

In preparing to go to CFNI in Jan I knew there were a few lose ends that needed to be tied up in the physical and ethereally. One of those things was finding my two cats that I kept from the divorce a home. Tito and Maddox. Never was a cat guy but these two boys were my buddies. They helped get me through the hardest parts of the divorce.

Tito, my closest little buddy went to his new home last night and I've been tore up ever since. I knew I wouldn't wake up to him pawing at my face to feed him. Then this morning Maddox went to be with the former Mrs. which just added to it all. Heck even as I write this I've got tears streaming down my face but that's just the best time to get it all out.

I know it sounds funny that a 210 pound, heavily tattoo'd man is crying over cats that are not dead but relocated is ridiculous. The irony of it struck me yesterday. Which made me realize that it wasn't really the cats I was upset over. Sure I'll miss them but I just do better without pets.

When that marriage ended those two cats were all I took besides my clothes and a few other things. Everything else was left to her. I wanted nothing. No visual reminder. The cats were an exception because I was in no state to be completely alone.

What I realized yesterday is how much of my failures prior to the marriage, how much pain and regret and wishing things had happened different and anger and sadness and resentment and brokenness I had poured into those little guys. Not directed at them but they enshrined all that mess. They were the last link to my former life and thought I had dealt with it all and was pretty solid in my emotional state.

Well the last few days dredged every bit of it up completely out of the blue and hit me like a ton of elephants falling out of the sky and directly onto my heart. So now I understand where the tears are from. Apparently there was still an opened wound just under a very thin scab.

I've been more and more prompted to find them a home and now I see why. That had to happen for God to get the rest of the poison out of this wounded heart. That was the trigger for the explosion that otherwise would have stayed below the surface.

As I was walking I passed the place it all started I knew I would get off the trail and go down there and spiritually cut and kill the beginning of many years of self destruction on my way back up the path.

I allowed some music to continue ministering to me as I prayed for clarity in this. I wanted nothing skewed. I wanted to remember the event that started the downward spiral of the last 21 yrs of my life.

This is the place I had started smoking which led to pot, which led to sex, which led to acid, which led to meth-amphetamines, which led to alcohol and so on. I've been off of nicotine since the 4th of dec cold turkey. Which is completely Gods doing. The other stuff has been gone for years minus a brief excursion with pot.

Before these things I was still very tenderhearted to the things of God and heard Him speaking to me. After all the addictions kicked in mostly all I heard was their beckoning me for the next fix. I still retained a part of me but I was spiritually incapacitated. God has been reaching out to me for a long time but I wanted to do it my way and look what happened.

Sure I was still saved through it all but that was it. No power, no authority to trample serpents and scorpions, no peace, no direction, complete and utter confusion and darkness shrouded my heart and mind. And all that led up to many experiences that have made my life very adventurous to say the least. And that led to my marriage and the bad choices made in it and again not hearing God that I wasn't supposed to marry then in the first place.

I could have avoided years of pain if my mind and spirit were clear to hear but I'm so thankful to be alive and for His grace and protection. Do I regret those years? I wish I had done things different but I don't regret it. Those things made me who I am now and have formed the mold of my ministry. And through that God had used those experiences to reach people. I've been honored to see many people come to Jesus because of my testimony and what I've been through.

If just one person was reached and found salvation through any part of something I went through then it was all worth it so that person never has to spend eternity in Hell apart from God after a physical life of hell.

When I was up on that cliff today watching the shadows of yesterday pass before my eyes I was filled with a gratitude to be alive and a deep humbleness that God never lifted His hand of protection off of me even when in the practice of sin. I didn't and don't deserve it.

I lifted my hands to the sky not caring if anyone saw and worshiped Him right there. I asked Him to cut the tie and let me never go back down the road that was first built on the very ground I stood over 21 years before. I affirmed that I was free and delivered by His hand and confessed it on once cursed ground. I gave all the years of pain and hurt and disappointment and my self-sufficiency to Him and thanked Him as I walked away free.
Funny how God uses little things like cats to get us to give Him the burden and let go of it all. I'm still upset but I know something supernatural happened today that stopped the past from becoming the present ever again. My heart will heal now the right way and have room now for all the good things that are coming. It is very freeing and liberating to know that all the garbage is out in the open and had fire set to it at the very place it first started collecting.

It is painful but so worth it to face the place where it all started and let all the garbage go. I encourage you to do the same weather your place is physical or inside a moment. With God you can go back there and let it all go and reverse the destructive cycle that has held you down for so long.

You may not feel like you're doing much and maybe even a little crazy but God takes that seriously and like I said, there's something supernatural about facing the place that it all started.

Detouring and the Thorn. By Matthew Scott

2009-12-16T21:58:00.000-06:00

Detouring and the Thorn. By Matthew Scott
This day, not tomorrow, we need reflect on the years before and where we were and how merciful and amazing our God is to have brought us to where we are today.

At times when the passage of time goes on long enough without us just stopping to take it all in we can be blindsided by the amazing metamorphosis our lives have taken. Personally I like stopping and taking inventory of where I am, where I need to be and where I want to be, and then following up with my Father in prayer as to where He's leading me. Many times I find I've taken a small detour off the straight path however suddle.

You see, God has a path laid before us to travel that He designed for us to follow. Not pre-destination but the straight and narrow as well as the most blessed path. But because we have been given free will and we are not perfect He knew that we would take many detours off the main road. He still has His hand of protection over us on the detour but it is slightly lifted so we can feel the sting or the proverbial finger in the light socket if you will. This is allowed not only to build character but also to remind us that apart from Him we can do nothing and to steer us back to Him. Discipline is a necessary part of growth. Because He works all things to the good of those that love Him (Romans 8;28), He uses those experiences to grow and temper us closer into what He designed us to be. Which begs the question; well if that's the case then wouldn't that detour be part of the straight path He intended for us to follow? This is where not leaning on our own understanding becomes very relevant and trusting Him becomes vital. His way's are not our way's, and His thoughts are higher than our thoughts. (Isaiah 55:9). Not only does He use the detour to sharpen us but He also goes before us to clear a path so we don't stumble on debris in the road. And what's even more awesome is that He is the redeemer of time. Meaning all the time we wasted and blessings we missed on that detour can be restored fully once back on the straight road. What an awesome God we serve!

   From an outsider's perspective they may perceive that I've lost everything. In reality by losing and letting go of much I've gained everything. We don't own our possessions, they own us. I'm not Gnostic so I'm not saying all matter is evil but I am saying that stuff can hold us down and keep our mind on things other than what is eternal, lasting and what really matters. God want's us to be prosperous and have the desires of our hearts if those desires are not set up as idols taking precedence above Him. Have you ever stopped and looked and what you really need? I understand that those with spouses and children need a lot more than I do but even then we could get by with so much less. In America we are a nation of mass consumption, even of things that last us years and years like vehicles. We always have to have the nicest and newest thing that our nice, new, large HD TV say is the latest and greatest. Then the media drives us to buy stuff we don't need to stimulate an economy that wouldn't be as jacked up if we didn't spend all our money before we get it via credit cards. We feel societally inadequate if we don't keep up with the Jones'. Don't get me wrong, there are things I like to keep up with like computers and Phone's, so I have picked my battles there but these are also tools that can make us money, keep us connected to friends and family and are great avenues for ministry. Hence the way this writing reaches you. I could write a long spiel on this but this is not the topic for now so I'll move on.

   Off the bear trail. Many things can detour us from the right path including "stuff". Lol. My reference to others perception as to where I am now is in regard to my life of before. I was married, owned a successful business, had lot's of expensive toy's and I was miserable with monthly debt for a ridiculous amount of stuff I didn't need. Now I'm 31, divorced, living with my folks at least for this semester while I go back to school and hardly own a thing. After the shock, re-grounding and re-focusing from two years of pondering why things happened the way they did I'm quite content with only what I need and have. I see now that the whole precursor to this as well as the time to re-learn who I am and what I'm to do was all part of the detour I took that has made me who I am and has given me the knowledge of where God wants me to go. And I'm so thankful for His direction after suck an intense time of darkness to abide in. God has actually taken away the majority of the pain and darkness from the severing of my former life and has filled me with such a desire to pursue Him and His purposes that I'm already a different creature even before the crossing into tomorrow's plans that He's made clear. The pain was necessary. I wouldn't know what I do now without it and I would have completely forgotten who I was had those trials not awakened my emotions and numbed heart through grief.

   There are things we pick up spiritually and emotionally on these detours that can either benefit us or hold us down. Usually on a detour off of God's path we pick up the things that hold us down.

   It never feels good to endure loss, letting go of things loved, being humbled and forcefully starting over. This is not an outward choice we would consciously make but rather a series of potential outcomes from the choices we did make. It hurts like hell and will until it's purpose is achieved. But it is a good place to be because The Lord can re-create us. 2 Corinthians 12:8-10 explains it better than I can,

(2 Corinthians 12:8-10 Amplified Bible)
⁸Three times I called upon the Lord and besought [Him] about this and begged that it might depart from me;
    ⁹But He said to me, My grace (My favor and loving-kindness and mercy) is enough for you [sufficient against any danger and enables you to bear the trouble manfully]; for My strength and power are made perfect (fulfilled and completed) and show themselves most effective in [your] weakness. Therefore, I will all the more gladly glory in my weaknesses and infirmities, that the strength and power of Christ (the Messiah) may rest (yes, may pitch a tent over and dwell) upon me!
    ¹⁰So for the sake of Christ, I am well pleased and take pleasure in infirmities, insults, hardships, persecutions, perplexities and distresses; for when I am weak [in human strength], then am I [truly] strong (able, powerful in divine strength).

In these verses Paul was seeking The Lord to remove whatever the thorn in his side was. Something that perplexed and troubled him greatly that would not leave him. Then God answered him and gave him revelation. This sounds crazy to someone who's never experienced God in this way but our trials and troubles are really a thing of good when we come out of the furnace of tempering. We should embrace those times and look forward to whats on the other side. But as we come out of tragedy we must also permanently place the past in it's rightful place, physically by removing shrines and spiritually by cutting the ties and not looking back. Let the past be done and and embrace who you are today. So Father, I am thankful for that time and I thank you that for now that season is closing as the Spring of life blossoms as I enter the promise of tomorrow and I pray we all are given the grace to enter tomorrow with renewed hope and the strength only You can provide.

The Tap on your Shoulder. By Matthew Scott

2009-11-23T15:47:00.000-06:00

My beloved..

I feel every anguish you lament. I know every tear that starts in your heart and manifests in the physical. When the crushing weight of life afflicts you I am there to comfort you should you ask. I know what you need and desire better than you can possibly imagine.

When you turn to empty things to fill you, you are really seeking me. When the repetitious and common are not enough I am here.

When you numb the pain with alcohol and drugs you are really seeking what only I can offer.

When you seek companionship and are lonely and turn to sex and lustful passions to fill a void you are really seeking the true and lasting love and companionship only I can give you.

When you set another up as a god or an idol before me I'm calling you. They cannot possibly give you what I can because they are imperfect and will let you down.

I will not! I am the same yesterday, today and tomorrow. I am pure love.

You think in your carnal mind that carnal things will bring you fulfillment and happiness but the things you see in the physical will pass away.

I am eternal and will never leave nor forsake you.

Lean not on your own understanding but in all your ways acknowledge me and I will direct your path.
When you hang on to control and have to know what's next you are quietly killing yourself.

I have come that you may have life and life more abundantly. Release your cares, burdens and torments to me and let go of control and trust that I will give you more than you can comprehend.

You feel as if you must let go of everything and change your ways overnight to come to me.
Hear me child! Come to me as you are where you are. You can change nothing but my Spirit will do the work if you open your heart to me.

You are giving up nothing but gaining everything.

He who seeks to hang onto his life will lose it but he who gives his life freely for my sake will find life eternal.
I will replace your earthly desires with my own and what you give up that hinders you that you feel you must have I will replace three fold with something you cannot conceive in the natural.

When you fall and feel you cannot come to me I tell you to stand up child, for my grace is sufficient for you.
I am your strength when you are weak. I am your rock, shield and fortress. You move and have your being in me.

To those who's earthly fathers were not there, I am the perfect Father. I love you with an everlasting love and will never leave nor forsake you!

For those tormented by the dark words of a parent early on in which those words have shaped your reality, let go! I say who you are. I created you and know you better than you know yourself. I say you are my child and I love you like you cannot fathom as I have loved your earthly parents.

I love you so much I gave my only son to atone for all the things that hold you down from your true purpose and the reason for you to have breath.

Through my son Jesus you are set free from the cancer of sin and no longer do you have to suffer in your own power.

It is not by works but by faith that you are saved but faith without works is dead. Your faith will naturally produce works that lead unto life.

Your dependence on the positive words of others to affirm who you are you do not need nor do you need to prove anything to anyone.

I am not keeping record of the things you have done wrong but of the things you've done right. The past is forgiven through my son Jesus. I remember it not.

All the drug use...forgiven

Excessive alcohol use...forgiven

All the pre-marital sexual encounters...forgiven

The abortion that has tormented you and made you lose sleep and worsened the pain in life...forgiven

The perverted and sick thoughts that you've entertained and at times acted on...forgiven

The marriage that ended in divorce...forgiven

The adulterous relationships you had...forgiven

People you have killed or murdered...forgiven

Hateful rage or uncontrollable anger...forgiven

Do not make light of these sins and continue in them and neither dwell on them for if you have truly repented (turned from those ways) and have received my son as your savior then you are saved and forgiven no matter what the former offenses.

Because you are human and being you will fall at times but get up quickly and return to me and I will be quick to forgive and restore you.

In me you have great value and worth and your past sins do not determine who you are unless you allow it.
When in the midst of a great battle that threatens to overtake you, remember that I am here and I love you and when you feel that gentle tap on your shoulder it is I, the Alpha and Omega, the beginning and the end, the everlasting one, the creator of all things, the one true God calling you back to me.

Don't hesitate to come to me no matter where you are. I will restore you to life and life more abundantly.

--
Matt Scott

Isaiah 43:18-19 and Seeking past comforts in times of spiritual dryness. By Matthew Scott

2009-11-12T00:14:00.000-06:00

Isaiah 43:18-19 and Seeking past comforts in times of spiritual dryness. By Matthew Scott

Isaiah 43:18-19 (Amplified Bible) 18Do not [earnestly] remember the former things; neither consider the things of old. 19Behold, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs forth; do you not perceive and know it and will you not give heed to it? I will even make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert.

Isaiah 43:18-19 for me has given a very solid place to stand. God has brought me out of much darkness and has saved me from horrible fates time after time. Recently went through some serious deliverance counseling and I felt cleaner and newer than ever before. Ready to storm the gates of hell! But to get to new levels with God we must be tested and pass for advancement where He redeems the time spent lost.

Many times we fall and fail and this will happen throughout our walks with Christ. Thank God for His mercy and forgiveness. We must then forgive ourselves, receive His and give it another go. We cannot believe the lies the enemy uses of guilt and condemnation to keep us down. We feel unworthy to come to The Father when we sin but Jesus paid the ultimate price so we could come to Him and be washed clean. Don't let the enemy keep you from going to Him. The longer he can keep you away the farther we get from God.

I've had certain areas of weakness I've battled throughout my life and at times fall to temptation. But with every fall I keep bringing it before Him and seeking His forgiveness. When I don't wait and go right to Him I get stronger and can overcome these areas easier when the temptation hits again. Eventually we get strong in our areas of weakness and completely overcome. This is where God works all things to the good of those that love Him. We then share our experiences with others and while relating to them help them overcome It gives people hope when they can talk to and confide in someone who's been there.

When we find ourselves in times of waiting or spiritual dryness we tend to get a little stir crazy and sometimes go back to the good ol days or back to an old comfortable sin just to feel something. Often when going through these times its because God is preparing us for the next level. For me I was seeking answers a few years after going through a divorce. I was seeking God on what to do with my life now and what He was calling me to. Well the answer was ministry.

After meeting with my pastor and seeking counsel from others He confirmed in my spirit that this is my path. So I applied and was accepted to Christ for the Nations Institute (CFNI) which I start in Jan of 2010. I cannot tell you how hard the enemy hit me with everything he had once I had direction and was doing something about it. I was hammered like never before. In reality that solidifies that I'm on the right path or I wouldn't be under such heavy attack. I was drawn back to the things of old by the enemy for a short time to get my focus off of what God is doing and what I'm working towards.

Satan's goal is to keep us from our place and purpose in Christ. So we must prepare and expect the attack whenever pursuing The Lord. This piece of scripture (Isaiah 43:18-19) tells us not to remember the former things or the things of old because He is doing a new thing and a new work in us bringing us away from the old dried up and dead things of yesterday. We want to hold on to those things because we know and perceive them as familiar and comfortable.

We will become stagnant and never grow or advance if we remain comfortable!

Its hard to fully trust and believe in things we cannot see in the flesh. But be mindful that the things of the Spirit are much more real and eternal. The Lord also says in verse 19 that He will even make a way in the wilderness and streams in the desert.

Wow! That's powerful. And He always does! I was in the wilderness not knowing what to do or where to start but He made a way and made it clear. I was but spiritually dead in my desert of guilt and condemnation but He made streams run through that desert once again and restored me to life.

I encourage you to let go of the past and step out of your comfort zone and to trust that God is doing a new thing better than anything we could ever ask, want or imagine. Just hold on a little longer and He will make a way.

Through Depression to Redemption. By Matthew Scott

2009-11-09T20:20:00.000-06:00

Through Depression to Redemption. By Matthew Scott
The last few weeks I've been in a very dark place and in one of the worst depressions I can remember. For whatever reason I've always had a depression cycle. I've taken the meds for years and just got off this year. It was time to be delivered from those. Its very odd to me how when you finally get direction you know is from the Lord, and start pursuing it with anticipation, you can often times wake up one morning on your way and out of the blue everything is hopeless and wrong. A lot of times for no apparent reason. You're overly irritable and just want to shut down and not do anything. This is mostly true of myself but after a period in this kind of fog I start seeking to self medicate just to feel something different to feel some form of a spark of life. I had weathered the depression well through my former marriage and for the most part did not struggle with the old woe's. One because I was married and committed and believe in my vows and being faithful. The other I didn't touch because I just didn't need or want it then. I had a very blessed life, was happily married, owned a successful business and had more money than I could spend.

We'll here I am two years on the other side of that. Went through a massive meltdown shortly after the divorce, sold the business because my wife and I worked side by side every day for years and I just couldn't physically or mentally do It anymore. The loss was too much to bear and I lost it. Started drinking heavy and nightly and I was never a drinker. Smoking pot daily again and having a lot of promiscuous and empty sex. I just shut down and lost complete care. Well God got my attention and I finally listened and returned to Him. Went through some major soul searching to find out who I was now that I was no longer a part of another. I had a loneliness like I've never experienced and a deep anger toward the outcome and unexpected change of life. I was in question about my character, why we couldn't make it work, why and how did I get here. Moved back in with my folks right after the divorce and then had my 30th birthday there. My age and situation really got to me after having a very successful and independent life. I couldn't work much more than a part time job because I was still just so broken I could barely function.

I was able to go through a very intensive deliverance counseling. I felt cleaner and newer than ever. Like I could go on and that I would soon find my purpose. Well fast forward almost a year and now nearing my 31st birthday at home. I was blessed to finally get direction as to what to do with my life. I've always known a little but it was overly confirmed this time. I'm to go into ministry. Not pastoral but music, missions and I'm sure some other aspect that involves facing some very large devils. I start attending class at Christ for the Nations Bible college as of Jan 4, 2010. Just a month and some days from now.

Well about 4 weeks ago I started getting hit real hard with depression again. And I should have prepared for it because affliction usually follows the path to destiny. The enemy loves to keep us from a path with God. The tormenting questions of self worth and the longing for something to make me feel alive again. The anger and loneliness hit like a ton of bricks this time and the sense of urgency that I'm too old to be putting anything off any longer if I'm going to amount to anything for God under plan B. (Post Divorce). Then an unbearable boredom, and a strong desire to not be alone. This one was odd for me because I've always been a very self-sufficient loner, content with self and in my own skin kind of guy. I'd go to work and come home and then just write or read and I was very content and secure in that. I didn't really hang out with anyone anymore because I was focused and didn't really need companionship at the time. Most of my friends are married with kids so they hardly have anytime to hang out so I just stopped trying and got comfortable with me and God. The other long time acquaintances were always a little prone to the old life so I pretty much just steered clear of them minus a phone call or email here and there.

I've always been a bit on the melancholy side, a deep thinker and extremely conflicted inwardly. Don't really know why but I'm how I was made and as time goes on God smooths out the edges and makes it work. But the inward fight over thew last few weeks is like nothing I've ever felt before. I know God is above it all but its like my own will was compromised and I couldn't fight if I wanted to. I was so weak and I just gave in to the temptations to turn off the war. Well we all know how the enemy likes to turn things around on us. Of course after you give in you get guilt and condemnation from the enemy on top of the affliction you already had. Then you're just left to the mercy and forgiveness God and hope you can find your way back to Him. The more well fall prey the harder it is to get back. But He's always there waiting and helping us come to Him even though we are in sin. So basically I fell for the two things I struggled with before and after the marriage to dull the pain like a fool and now I'm finding my way back again. And I've got to get this whipped or I will miss what He's giving me and I certainly wont be remotely worthy of going into any kind of ministry.

As Christians we know that the enemy waits as a lion seeking whom he may devour so in these times we must be even more on guard.
Today is the first day in weeks if felt like writing, waking or even breathing for that matter. In my depression I was lulled by the enemy back to a few things that I've been delivered from that the world uses for instant self medicating. The now fix vs the patient endurance that brings true blessing.

This short period almost took the last will I had to even stand. But even when we retort to the vileness that we once we're He is there ready for us to get back on track when our hearts and not just our minds line back up to His will. He is so forgiving and merciful to redeem us.

I had told God sometime back once I really re dedicated to Him that if I ever got off track again that I wanted Him to just take me home because it us so hard to get back after each fall. I was believing the enemies lies that I could not get back where I was and that I had fallen too far and forfeited what God had for me and that I should just forget about pursuing what He called me to.

Friends I'm here to tell you that when you believe in your heart the devils lies you are in trouble because that can envelop and mold your self worth, daily existence, attitude, will to live, etc.

Even when we're down and relying on self and not God we must continue to pray and stay in the word. I know it feels wrong to even come to God in such a filthy state and that we shouldn't even consider speaking to Him under the circumstances, but that's what the devil wants. To make us an island separated from God and His people.

Before long you're too depressed to get out of bed to go to church, you're adding things from the old man that use to deaden the pain of life and add temporary pleasure while worsening and compromising your soul and lifeline to God.

Somehow after constant prayer, conviction, repentance, trial and testing I woke up this morning really feeling His love and forgiveness. Like somehow my heart is back on track and lining up with my mind. Thank God for His word. The book of Isaiah has really gotten me through this. particularly these scriptures:

Isaiah26.3
You will guard him and keep him in perfect and constant peace whose mind [both its inclination and its character] is stayed on You, because he commits himself to You, leans on You, and hopes confidently in You.

Isaiah26.4
So trust in the Lord (commit yourself to Him, lean on Him, hope confidently in Him) forever; for the Lord God is an everlasting Rock [the Rock of Ages].

Isaiah30.18
And therefore the Lord [earnestly] waits [expecting, looking, and longing] to be gracious to you; and therefore He lifts Himself up, that He may have mercy on you and show loving-kindness to you. For the Lord is a God of justice. Blessed (happy, fortunate, to be envied) are all those who [earnestly] wait for Him, who expect and look and long for Him [for His victory, His favor, His love, His peace, His joy, and His matchless, unbroken companionship]!

Isaiah43.2

When you pass through the waters, I will be with you, and through the rivers, they will not overwhelm you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned or scorched, nor will the flame kindle upon you.

Isaiah43.18-19
¹⁸Do not [earnestly] remember the former things; neither consider the things of old.
¹⁹Behold, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs forth; do you not perceive and know it and will you not give heed to it? I will even make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert.

The old things just don't cut it anymore. There's nothing there anymore but death. No matter how many times I re open Pandora's box or taste the forbidden fruit it is still the same. Feels good for a little while but ultimately ties Gods hands from being able to bless us with what He has for us until our hearts and minds are renewed toward Him and our affections are after His will again.

Its seems that the backstroke into the world usually happens when He's taking us from glory to glory. The waiting in between chapters.

It seems He's not there at times and nothing is happening. Then we take our hearts and minds off of His word and promises for a moment, lean on ourselves and our understanding instead of His. Then we fill with negative and hopeless thoughts, start becoming restless and impatient and before you know it we "helped" God hurry up, got in His way and created ourselves an Ishmael that spawned a nation of war and unrest if you will, like in the days of Abraham.

Its always a small and quick shift in the heart and mind that leads to a gateway of catastrophe. This is why we must keep our minds renewed to the word.

If we stop that discipline for a minute we get a chink in our Armour and then the enemy fires a hoard of his fiery arrows which hit keep us down longer than we wanted.

The beauty of patient endurance and passing the tests during those periods is that with the passing comes advancement. He is the redeemer of time and can do so quickly when we're prepared for battle.

The things I struggle with many do. And I've gone around these mountains thousands of times only to find the same dead horse at the end of the trail head. I know what is there, I know the cost of time, I know how hard it is to get back and how much harder it gets after every fall. I know I've been delivered from these desires.

So why do we always go back? We know the logistics and the enemies tactics but we keep falling for it. True, we often overcome areas and never go back and then are faced with new trials, but what about the recurring ones? The trials we've turned and repented of only to open the door again years later?

Sure sex feels great especially when lonely and after a divorce. It feels good to be wanted and tended to. I think for divorcee's this area is probably harder after being a part of another and becoming one flesh. You're never really the same. But sex outside of marriage is wrong and can have many long term effects that are unwanted. And this greatly ties Gods hands.

The same goes for drug and alcohol use and any other addiction. Sure it feels great and gives an instant change.
But its wrong. And when inhibited by drugs we cannot hear The Spirits leading and we become dependant on the chemical instead of God and from there it just becomes a mess. We've been there. We know this. But we go back.

I would say for me it hits in a time of waiting, when bored or burned out and I feel I need to break the cycle to keep my sanity. I just need a better strategy for those times. They hit so sudden and often blindside me. We always need to consult the word but we also need understanding from people who've been there and overcame. Sometimes practical application from people who've experienced similar trials can be the best counsel when combined with biblical truth.

I purpose that classes should start being taught in the church dealing with preparing for trials and times of endurance and especially the correct way to dealing with sin and getting back on path with God and staying there. Preparation and accountability.
Sure the church teaches these things but I see that for today we need intensive teaching on this topic.

To many are turned away and turned off by the religious hypocrisy and the false illusion that Christians are perfect.
Because we live in a vehicle of flesh we are all susceptible to failure regardless of our grouping. People in the church that have a heart for God struggle just like anyone else. The fact that we are Christians means we will come under attack more. And sooner or later we all fall.

We need un-condemning, non judgmental people in the church prepared to love and counsel individuals who have fallen. Even sub groups appointed to different levels of need.

The tactics of old are somewhat irrelevant today. The core practices are not but when called on we need to be more transparent and relative to help others see we are real, bleed blood and struggle like anyone.

Everything I've written about I know and understand as well as the principles and practices for redemption, but when in the middle of the storm sometimes knowledge and logic disappear. I pray this changes as I grow. I'm not always hit like this either and usually weather the storm with grace.
The war between flesh and spirit is very real and hitting harder today than ever before because we are in the last of the last days and the enemy knows his days of persecuting the saints is coming to a close. So naturally its amped up greatly.

So may we help each other in time of crisis. May we not fear coming to our brothers and sisters to confess sin one to another. May we never feel afraid to approach the Master for forgiveness and may He grant us His strength and peace through these trials and tribulations.

Of Destiny and Affliction. By Matthew Scott

2009-10-29T02:18:00.000-05:00

Of Destiny And Affliction. By Matthew Scott.

In times of waiting we must stand firm. Sometimes after going through futile attempts over and over to make our own way and not rely on God, there comes those times where He reveals to us that we're off the path He set for us to follow.

As we discover the correct path and submit to His leading then things start coming into focus. Often with this comes a time of waiting and tormenting endurance to get through to the other side.

It is during this time that the enemy amps up his attacks to get us off the right path. Making us question things till we're almost insane, steering our affections back toward the things of the world we were delivered from for some form of release or instant gratification in a form our senses can interact with immediately.

Faith is the hope of things unseen, while the enemy grants instant stimulants. This is how he creeps in and then he furthers the attack by getting us to rationalize what we're doing and gets us to compromise.   Compromise diminishes our will towards the things of God as we turn toward earthen demi-god's. Things we place in our lives as idols. Things taking precedence over God's level of intimacy in our lives.

The Bible say's: where our treasure lies, there also lies our hearts. And as a man thinketh in his heart, so is he.
What have we allowed in our hearts that competes for our affection toward God?

Somewhere along the way we re opened a door to which we must find the root to cut it out so in essence the whole tree is not poisoned.

When the when the whole tree is full of poison it dies and then is cast into the fire. Its value and worth are gone. No roots left to help it stand or solid Armour to protect it from the ages of weathering.

If we allow this cycle to continue indefinitely and ignore the promptings of the Spirit to return to the Father then the above mentioned will happen to us after many attempts from God to get our attention. In other words, blasphemy of the Holy Spirit which is the un pardonable sin. (A constant rejection of the leading of the Spirit to come to the Father and repent of our ways and receive forgiveness and salvation unto life).

But our God is so merciful and freely offers His grace to us upon our return given we repent in our hearts and mean it, ask His forgiveness and receive it and not heed the condemnation and affliction from the enemy.

This too hinders our growth. When we believe the lies if the devil we are robbed of joy, direction, clear hearing from God on what steps we should take next and from truly experiencing God's love for us.

Grace is a word that we should all study deeper. Its meaning, it's purpose and its positive effects when applied. I don't think I'll ever fully understand the concept of grace but I will be practicing it in the meantime. Relying on God's redeeming grace to carry me through.

I sometimes wonder if the proverbial opening of Pandora's box years ago to things of the world are some of the thorn Paul speaks of that is always in his side.

Though we have been delivered of these things we can always foolishly pick them back up which we often times do. Being saved does not exempt us from temptation and affliction. In fact it guarantees it.

When we know we are moving forward towards destiny we can be assured that testing, affliction and temptation will follow. When the enemy has us on his path there is no need for him to hit as hard because he has us. But when we are walking in God's will, then we are a threat. Essentially it is a good thing when we're under attack because it usually means we're doing something right.

Sometimes we fall and fall hard for a season during these times. I myself battle two things regularly that I've been delivered from. Sure we have seasons of strength but we also have seasons of weakness.

This is the time for grace. This is the time for passing the test and shedding the dead branches. And though we fall we've got to press on and return to ourselves as the prodigal son did and come back to the Father.

We must be the soldiers that go to the death to win the tumultuous war between flesh and spirit. We must return to His word which separates bone and marrow, wheat from the chaff and shed the sweet lulling's of the word. It is a war but we must press on until we've done all we can do but stand. And stand we shall.

On Obama's Nobel Peace Prize and his Antichrist like qualities. By Matthew Scott.

2009-10-10T02:06:00.000-05:00

Today's event on October 9th, 2009 of our president winning the Nobel peace prize is quite a disturbing event for me to behold.
It is apparent that the once great country of The United States of America is disappearing in flames before our very eyes.

Though it is an honor and I wish more of our presidents could have received it other than the three that did, this man has done nothing to deserve such an honor. I will give him due credit of saying himself that he did not deserve it. He was nominated for it for his first 12 days in office in Feb of this year.

Correct me I'm wrong but what I remember was that he was at numerous parties, vacation, attended a few ceremonies, spoke with the cabinet on certain policies he wanted to start working on, had lunch with John McCain, Hillary Clinton and a few others. That's about it. Yea.... I see complete reasoning to nominate this man for that when others have spent their whole lives on one idea actually earning it!

I'm the least racist person I know and do not see race but rather humanity as a whole and respect and appreciate our human differences. I think the centuries old triviality of position based on race needed to die eon's ago. That gap has been bridged. But even my African-American friends are starting to see who he really is and what's happening to our country. My problem with him is that he is spineless. Wants to disarm everyone, go to one currency, give away our sovereignty and become one with the UN. Which is exactly what the Bible foretells will happen under the reign of the Antichrist. Whats worse is that France has called him the spineless president. That is pathetic coming from a country that has been considered to be the spineless country. They bent over and took it in WW2 and accommodated the Nazi's to prevent annihilation. I get survival but they were against Hitler's regime until faced with his war in their front yard. Then at the beginning of our present war they would not allow the U.S. to cross their borders to position us better in other countries strategically because they feared that if they aided us then the radical Muslim world would come down on them. Nor would they join us, Brittan and Australia because of the same fear. Well France you are in a perfect position to catch all the nuclear fallout that Mahmoud Amadinejad will blow your way on its way to us.

So let the record reflect that for a country like that to call our president spineless is pretty horrific. Which tells me that the radical Muslim world is laughing their butts off because they know that we will not stop them from completing uranium enrichment which will most likely be fully achieved by early next year. Statistics show that Iran has enough low grade enriched uranium now to convert to high grade in the next six months. What that means is that they have enough to make 2 400 megaton nuclear bombs capable of launching next year. Hiroshima's aftermath was a puddle of mud compared to what that will do and with that comes worldwide nuclear retaliation. Goodbye clean water, goodbye Eco-system, Goodbye non-poisonous air, crops and goodbye normal children.

This is the world Obama is helping to create with his pacifist and tree hugging way's. No doubt he has good intentions. No doubt we needed change but when certain things aren't broken don't fix them. The change he is bringing is too much too fast and ending the American culture that has given us the title of: Land of the free home of the brave.

I'll tell you this. Hitler had a supernatural power over people with his gaze and well spokeness. 2 similar qualities of the prez. When's the last time you could do anything without just showing id? When you go to the airport you are dang near butt searched and asked for all kinds of id. How the heck does anyone get the position of Commander and Chief without even proving you're an American citizen? Something bigger than us is definitely taking place here. People fall under his sway and he is starting to do just what the Antichrist is foretold to do. He has definitely been rapidly thrusted to this position for a great reason and its surely not because of anything he's done.

The Antichrist will appear to be a great man of peace and a pacifist. Revolutionary in politics. Will unite the world into one world government and one currency. Will also try and unite all religions under one peaceful umbrella. This will all come about during a time of economic crisis for the world and he eventually will appear to have the answers to the worlds problems. Obama is eerily starting to fit the bill. But ultimately the secretary general of the UN during that fully realized time will most likely be him. Well who's to say that our Nobel peace prize winner won't get nominated for just that after his term? Scripture also states that immediately after the first 3 1/2 yrs of his power during the tribulation period, he will receive a fatal wound to the head that will kill him and that 3 days later he will be resurrected from the dead and at that time fully invoked by Satan himself for the last 3 1/2 year period called the Great Tribulation.

So if after you have witnessed the disappearance of millions of believers worldwide, this man performs small miracles before hand and is then killed by a fatal wound to the head and then returns to life 3 days later, you will clearly know who he is and at that time he will no longer be Mr. Pacifist peace bringer.

The Bible also states that he will rise out of Europe. 2 points: we as Americans are all European descendants. Plus we really don't know where he was born. He has risen to power seemingly overnight and now has an award that most spend a lifetime to achieve. He is the most talked about man in politics today. He's good looking, young, and very well spoken. This is all prophesied. Not necessarily him but one very close in character. The church widely believes according to scripture that Christians will be raptured before he is revealed. But we need to really pay attention to this man. The Bible says even the elect will be deceived. It certainly appears that his very presence in the White House was preceded by much deception.

Again I'm not saying this man is the Antichrist but I am pleeding with you not to blindly accept him. Though we must pray for our leaders and try and respect their positions we also have the power of discernment and free will. I just think we need to step back from the historical benchmark's he's made in a short time and look at what he's really about and what he's positioning this country for. It's time we open our eyes to the truth. I want change as much as the next person but this is rediculous. Please consider this.

The Greatest Undocumented Wars. By Matthew Scott

2009-10-04T20:36:00.003-05:00

The Greatest Undocumented Wars. (By Matthew Scott )

The greatest wars in human history are not those fought with flesh and marrow but rather the ones of the mind and spirit which essentially is where our physical wars spawn from.

We are capable of so much beauty and death all the same. Our God gave us the ability to create like He does because He wanted us to be able to experience some of the wonders He does.

With such a gift comes great responsibility due to our power of choice and free will.

Because we are imperfect beings with such a power we often let darker forces drive our decisions unknowingly or out of sheer lack of regard for the things of the Spirit.

Which brings me to the topic of the wars we fight within that drive us to glory and success or the ultimate destruction of either our own beings or the contorting of an ideal that goes the way of the genocidal tyrant.

We are beings divided into two parts. Flesh and Spirit. There are two worlds around us full of activity at all times, good and bad influencing our will whether we realize it or not.

Their existence is not altered by what we do or do not believe. Their existence does not require us too believe to exist. These worlds do not bend to suit our existence but rather the opposite.

The issue that finite beings have is that we judge what is "real" based on our interpretation. Generally if we can touch, taste feel or see it in the physical we call it real. If we cannot do the above mentioned things we tend to decrease its weight or value as a real entity.

We are such a physically stimulated society in the 20th century that we have lost many good qualities of imagination. Which is where our true being creates and has purpose from.
The thing we neglect to see is that everything we have created or built started in the imagination before it became a physical manifestation.
Hence the power to create. And this from a realm that we cannot see but yet that realm is not as real to us as the object we brought into existence from it.

A complete contradiction.

We are so quick to forget where we've come from and how we got where we are.

The greatest wars fought are those not many hear of. They are the battles within us that drive us to do and be who we are. Some of these stories are told and some have been marked down in history as the manifestations of one persons inner demons ejected upon societies and passersby alike.

Physical war, murder, rape, genocide, abortion, unhindered downtalk or neglect to children from less than desirable parents. Which is usually the seed that takes root causing the above mentioned.

Hitler, Stalin, Napoleon, Saddam Hussein, Osama bin Laden, Mahmoud Amadinejad, etc. All idealists that are literal geniuses who's inner wars within themselves exploded outward onto humanity in the worst possible ways.

What is it really that causes a man to justify in his mind the conclusions that these men came to? What untold battles did they wage within before coming to these measures? Are we capable of repeating these same mistakes with just a little push further? The answer is absolutely! And on a grander scale given the technology we have access to now.

So how do we keep our inner and outer life in balance?

A quick checklist:

.What voices are we listening to?
.What Do we allow to control us?
.What are we intaking through the eye and ear gates?
.What are we allowing to take up residence in our hearts and minds?

Life is 10% what happens to us and 90% how we react to it.

If we continually intake negative that's what we will distribute. And visa-versa. We need to guard our hearts above all else for it is the wellspring of life, the Bible says. Regardless of what you believe this is a universal law. Only that without Christ in our hearts its all for nothing. It doesn't matter how "good" we are, it is the condition of our hearts and whether or not He is in it that matters.

When we allow decaying thoughts to fester and take root we pretty much give the enemy free passage to come in and wreak havoc on us and we become more and more under his control and our wills are bent to his.

The spirit realms also have a governing authority and different chains of command. There is intelligence at the origins of both sides. We cannot just give way to every thought and idea that comes in. We must take every thought captive and submit it to obedience in Christ.

I am guilty of not always doing this myself and if allowed unchecked for any amount of time the outcome is ugly. Falling into old destructive life patterns, confusion descends upon us, we lose our sense of purpose and our will is being influenced negatively.

It would greatly benefit us to document our internal conflicts. One so we can physically see whats going on on the inside, two so we can bring it before The Lord in prayer and seek His guidance and peace and three so we can see where He's brought us from and how the war was won so we do not regress to it again.

This way there is an outlined battle plan that gives us the strategy needed to overcome the war.

I encourage you to document your battles and your deliverance so you never forget what He's done when it looks like you're stuck in the trenches. Believe in Him and let these battles mature you then growth and closure will surely come.

Reckless words and forgiveness.

2009-10-01T21:06:00.000-05:00

As I write this entry I come completely humbled after weathering some messes that my previous wake of confusion has caused others, I have come to a great realization unfortunately at the cost of some broken hearts.

Since the intensive deliverance counseling I went through was completed, God did completely change my heart and desires. Of course there was still a little surface residue to be dealt with in these areas but I have been given much strength to overcome. I've known one of my main areas of ministry is transparency and relativity. Sometimes that has acquired nothing but judgment but I can handle that. I've always been eccentric so this is not unfamiliar territory. This transparency has helped me purge and also has helped others so I will continue that path.

On that note, I have a very incredible past, very adventurous, over experienced for my time of existence and also with much love came much darkness from paths Satan diverted me down. I was looking for the quick fixes and couldnt hear God at all at those times even though I accepted Him into my heart at a young age. He has saved my life time after time after time and has manifested His hand in my life undeniably and shown Himself to me in many ways. So now He has my all and when I stumble I get up, when I cause others pain I seek forgiveness. Most of us don't set out to hurt others intentionally but sometimes we're stuck in a cycle we cant see until it manifests through pain weather ours or others. I'll leave my past for another time to talk about other than little snippets to make a point here. My history would take a good book or two to get through so I wont bore you with that now.

The thing I struggled with more than any in my life was sexual addiction. Nothing perverted or grotesque, just simply being in sinful relationships which is sin none the less. And most of the collective accumulated pre- marriage. I never had a problem being faithful when committed. Then post divorce after 7 yrs of marriage I backslid pretty hard for a few months with alcohol, women and depression again. I was completely broken and just wanted to stop breathing altogether. Well after a time God started working on my heart to bring me back to Him yet again. He knew I was just done and couldn't do it anymore so He got to me before I finished the job. I was out of direction and out of care. I just wanted death and nothing was filling the hole inside, not alcohol, not women, not riding my sports bike on one wheel at 150 MPH while drunk trying to purposely go down. I became very self destructive and that carried out toward others unfortunately. When people love you and see you dying right in front of they're eyes spiritually and emotionally it hurts them deeply and that just adds to the already unfathomable pain inside.

Well He led me to some folks that were instrumental in helping me get set in the right direction. Once through counseling and delivered yet again He deepened my walk like never before. Though there was still wordplay to be dealtwith. This is ultimately the point of this blog entry.

Sometimes we tend to get caught up in moments of magic and emotion and we word vomit if you will as to what we feel at that moment. Since my divorce I have dated several women all on completely different levels from one another. Wordplay can be very dangerous and this is why in earlier posts i dealt with the topic of not acting or speaking out of emotion. Each one of these meetings with these women all started magically and unexpectedly and with much emotion. I'm still learning to feel again and to love again and with that what to say and not to say. The problem with being broken as badly as I was is that even though we are seeking God to fill a whole, people tend to come along that do and say things that we allow into that hole that only He can fill and then we retaliate with equally magical words to the other out of immediate emotion. This is bad!

What happens is once the initial magic wears off then we re evaluate our feelings and the situation and we freeze. We realize this may not be the person we want to be with despite how amazing they are and that the life that is offered with them is not necessarily the life you opted for or desired.

Herein lies the problem. Now you are all talked up to this person no matter how genuine at the time and we really have no idea how deeply they've taken those words in. I know now that we should never speak out of emotion and the moment because through that even though I meant those things, we just don't know what God has ahead for us. And now because of my reckless words at least 3 women over the last year and a half have received broken hearts. I pray my Christian witness was not destroyed and they're view of God is not skewed now. I was always upfront that I did not know what tomorrow held and to be prepared for anything with them, but when the other party really believes something from the gut then there's no preparation for what comes no matter what you say.

What is so amazing to me is how fast this connection can happen. When both have been broken and need to hear good and uplifting words and then it happens it bends and closes time faster. The longest of these relationships was a few months and the shortest a few weeks. So powerful words have powerful consequences. And to these now I'm perceived a liar and bad person. I'm not and I'm sorry for this from the bottom of my heart and pray time will heal the desolate wasteland in those hearts I helped create. We all do stupid things and need forgiveness daily. I never claimed to be perfect nor will I ever be. I'm human and in need of a savior as are we all.

We need to quit filling voids with imperfect peoples words and works and fill it with only what the perfect being is supposed to. Jesus Christ's words and ways. People are always going to let people down because we are imperfect no matter how amazing the person.

I know now that because He's been calling me to ministry that I was never supposed to pursue anyone on a serious level at this time. But I did not find this out until the devastation already occurred. Now that I have that direction confirmed I can be much more careful. And this is a lesson to me anyways to guard my tongue.

The Bible say's the tongue has the power to give life and death. This is so true and I've seen mine give both.

So this is my prayer: That You forgive me Father for my trespasses and that you give the parties involved peace and forgiveness for what I've spoken i'lly and recklessly. I pray that this wisdom sticks and is applied in all situations from here on out. I pray that we all can separate emotion from logic. And most of all that my antics have not destroyed my witness or turned anyone away from You Father. Please bring healing and restoration to all parties. In Jesus's name. Amen

May we love others enough to spare them fleeting words and emotions and may we truly know when God is leading us or emotions are. May we always admit our wrongs and seek The Lord's forgiveness and others. May we realize that He paid for "our" sins and that we have been forgiven and that we must forgive others as He has forgiven us. What He did and went through for us is too great a cost for us not to return it to others no matter what has been done to us. We did not have to die. We did not have to intake every sin of every person past and present all at once. We did not have to endure a sinner's death in hell. We did not have to endure the Father turning from us till atonement was paid. He did! I know I've caused much pain but I have also forgiven great offences. I hope we can all do the same for one another.

A reflection of inner turmoil and the blessings to come. By Matthew Scott

2009-09-20T23:59:00.000-05:00

A reminder of what He paid and why we're so foolish sometimes to think He wont finish what He started.

I've been quite beside myself for a while now trying to figure out which direction to take in my life. At 30 yrs old, 2 yrs divorced and a few unsuccessful relationships later I realize I've been trying to control the situations that are out of my control instead of believing and trusting God to bring me exactly where I need to be, and letting Him fill the holes in my heart that only He can.

Honestly I'm blessed to be only 30 and have the opportunity to completely start life over and follow my dreams. The dilemma I've been having is which one to pursue. I've been in much prayer but it seems I have a block at the moment. So I've decided to get away for a few days all alone in a few weeks and shut out all external, voices, influences and opinions. I'm going to wrestle with the angel if you will until I get my answers and I'm not coming back until I get them.

Some how I've allowed too many other voices in, allowing confusion and miss direction. So the tornado has become much louder than the voice of the sparrow in the midst of it. Its time to kill the tornado. The only way to do this is to get completely alone, face myself and whats been being stored within, purge it, fight the insanity that will try to come the first few days, read and meditate on scripture, let Him completely break me again and finally hear Him pouring fresh life into me.

I recently underwent a most amazing spiritual transformation via an amazing type of deliverance counseling that was refered by a very good friend. I cant say much but it went back all the way from conception to that present day, cutting poisonous ties, closing doors that were opened which led to sin, cutting bloodline curses, and releasing complete forgiveness to others that have wronged me and forgiving myself. This was all Holy Spirit led. These people knew nothing about me other than my name and The Spirit downloaded the rest. It was all perfectly on the money and things were dealt with that no one knew about other than God.

The point of me confiding that bit of info is to relate that I've been changed completely. He's been changing me and this was a very significant step forward. A benchmark in my faith if you will. But with that came heavy testing. I'm happy to say that the physical things I dealt with I have amazing and supernatural strength in now. It's the mental areas I still need to pass. It's getting better but I've had to repeat these tests quite a few times but I believe I will get it.

I'm at a point where there is nothing more important to me but pleasing The Lord and following His calling on my life. I know teaching others in a relative and non-judgmental manner is part of it. There's just so many paths I could take that I must know His primary focus for me. Once I do I'm sure all the others will line up. Also because I'm 30 I feel a sense of urgency that I cannot waste time any longer. Plan A didn't take so I must seek Him for plan B and get a move on. This pressing feeling is what tends to drive me to madness. But thats also not trusting that He will do what His word say's He will.

So I must get back to complete trust and submission. But I will be pressing in like never before for my answers and I'm sure that through this He will deepen my walk and take me to the next benchmark of faith.

In looking back I've gained strength, wisdom, knowledge, how to truly tap in to The Spirit, how not to make decisions based on emotion even though I can get quite emotional and I'm learning that I must take inventory daily of my thoughts and what I'm allowing myself to intake. My mind is still being renewed to The Word. There is still some of the old man sitting just below the surface that comes out for a peek at times but I'm trying daily to kill him. Some days I win, some I lose. Either way the wins are still victories.

I thank You Father for where You've delivered me from. I thank You for the countless times You have saved my life from a premature end. I thank You for The protection you've kept around me and for the covering of the blood of Jesus to wash my filth away. I thank you for keeping me humble and real and for giving me a heart for the broken, just like me. I thank You for the gifts and talents You've given me. I thank You for leading me to my destiny and for never failing me. Forgive my doubt and for getting in the way. Help me to utilize the gifts You've given me to bring You glory and fullfill my life.

The Sequence of Endtime Events

2009-09-16T19:41:00.000-05:00

The best way to break up all of these events is to list all of the events that will be occurring before the 7 year Tribulation starts, all of the events that will be occurring during the Tribulation, and then all of the events that will occur after the Tribulation. Once the Tribulation starts, we know we have exactly 7 years before Jesus comes back.

Main Events That Will Occur
Before the Tribulation

1. Restoration of the State of Israel

The Jewish people return to the land of Israel and re-establish it as a state. This sign has already come to pass and it occurred on 5/14/48. The city of Jerusalem was then regained by the Jewish people on 6/7/67.

2. Miscellaneous Signs

Jesus Himself tells us that the following signs will occur as we approach the end times.

a) Perilous times will come.

b) False Christs and false prophets will arise.

c) Wars and rumors of wars.

d) Nation against nation, kingdom against kingdom.

e) Famines, pestilences and earthquakes.

f) Lawlessness and immorality will abound.

g) Love of many will grow cold.

h) Christians will depart from the faith giving heed to doctrines of demons.

i) Men will be lovers of self, lovers of money, unholy, proud, boasters, blasphemers, unloving, disobedient to parents, unforgiving, slanderers, without self-control, brutal, traitors, headstrong, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God and unthankful.

3. Rise of the Antichrist, False Prophet and a 10 Nation Confederacy From Which They Will Rule This Earth From.

4. Rise of the City of Babylon

5. Russia and Her Allies Will Invade Israel. God Will Then Supernaturally Destroy This Invading Army.

Main Events That Will Occur
During the 7 Year Tribulation

1. The Antichrist Establishes a Peace Treaty and a Covenant with Israel

2. The Jewish Temple is Rebuilt

3. God's Counterbalances:

The 2 Witnesses
144,000 Jewish Witnesses
Major Outpouring of the Holy Spirit
Angel of the Everlasting Gospel allowed to preach the gospel

4. The Antichrist Will Destroy the City of Babylon

5. A War in Heaven Breaks Out

St. Michael the Archangel and his angels cast Satan out of the second heaven and onto the earth. The Devil becomes furious when this event occurs because he knows that his time is short.

6. The Abomination of Desolation

Three and half years into the Tribulation, the Antichrist will break his peace treaty with Israel, seat himself up in their rebuilt temple and proclaim himself to be God.

7. The 7 Seal Judgments

These 7 judgments will probably occur during the first half of the Tribulation. They are as follows:

a) The Antichrist will be released and allowed to set out to conquer the earth.

b) The Antichrist will be allowed to take peace from the earth and cause many people to kill one another.

c) The Antichrist will cause slave labor conditions to exist where people will be working for minimum pay just to be able to buy enough food for a day.

d) The martyrs will cry out to God in heaven to avenge their deaths. God says to wait just a little while longer.

e) God causes a great earthquake to hit the earth, causing every mountain and every island to move out of its place. He also causes the sun to turn black and the moon to look like blood.

f) There is silence in heaven for a half an hour. An angel offers the prayers of God's people to Him to avenge them.

8. The 7 Trumpet Judgments

These 7 judgments will occur during the middle to latter part of the Tribulation. They are as follows:

a) God rains down hail and fire upon the earth - burning up one third of the trees and all of the green grass.

b) God releases a meteor into the sea turning one third of the sea into blood, killing one-third of all living creatures in the sea and destroying one third of the ships that are on the sea.

c) God releases another meteor, hitting one third of the rivers and springs, causing contamination of the water and many men to die.

d) God strikes a third of the sun, a third of the moon and a third of the stars so that they give no light. This causes a third of the day not to shine.

e) The bottomless pit is allowed to open up releasing a huge swarm of locusts to attack all the people who do not have God's seal on their foreheads. They are not allowed to kill these people, but to just torment them with their bite. These people will be seeking death and will not be able to find it.

f) 4 demonic angels are released from the Euphrates river to kill a third of mankind. These 4 demonic angels will lead an army of 200 million demonic spirits to carry out this mass slaughter of humans.

g) Heaven is now beginning to rejoice because God is releasing His wrath upon the wicked on the earth and extracting His vengeance. God then releases more lightnings, another earthquake and more great hail upon the earth.

9. The 7 Bowl Judgments

These 7 judgments will occur during the latter part of the Tribulation. They are as follows:

a) God causes loathsome sores to fall upon those who have the mark of the Beast.

b) God causes the entire sea waters to become blood - killing every living creature in the seas.

c) God causes all the rivers and springs to turn into blood.

d) God causes the heat from the sun to scorch men with great heat and fire.

e) God causes total darkness to fall upon the kingdom of the Antichrist.

f) The Euphrates river is allowed to dry up so as to prepare the way for the kings of the east to come to the battle of Armageddon. Then 3 demonic spirits are released from the mouths of the Antichrist and False Prophet and they go out to all the kings of the earth to bring all of them to the battle of Armageddon.

g) God causes the greatest and most severe earthquake to hit the earth. The city of Babylon is completely finished off and swallowed up whole. This earthquake causes all of the islands to flee away and all of the mountains to be no longer found. God then rains down great hailstones weighing 135 pounds each. God then says: "It is done."

10. The Battle of Armageddon

All the nations of the world come against Jerusalem. Half of the city will go into captivity, houses will be rifled and the women ravished. Then deliverance comes!

Main Events That Will Occur
After the Tribulation

1. The Second Coming of Jesus

Immediately following the Tribulation and right in the middle of the battle of Armageddon, Jesus literally descends from heaven where every eye will be able to see Him. Jesus will land on the Mount of Olives and He will then destroy all of the invading armies who have come against Jerusalem. Their flesh will dissolve while they stand on their feet, their eyes will dissolve in their sockets and their tongues will dissolve in their mouths.
Jesus then throws the Antichrist and False Prophet into the Lake of Fire and Brimstone. Jesus then throws Satan into the bottomless pit where he is kept chained up for a 1000 years. The rest of unsaved humanity is kept in Hades (Hell) until the 1000 Millennium Kingdom is over.

2. The Millennium Kingdom

Jesus will literally rule our earth from the city of Jerusalem for 1000 years with all of the saints ruling the nations of the earth with Him. There will be no more wars ever again. Wild animals and beasts will be tame. People will live long lives - possibly up to a 1000 years. There will be no more weeping or crying.

3. Satan is Let Loose One More Time

After the 1000 years have passed in the Millennium Kingdom, Satan is let loose from the bottomless pit for a little while in order to go out and attempt to deceive the nations of the world for one last time. God allows Satan to tempt and weed out the restless bad apples that were born into the Millennium Kingdom. They will all converge on the city of Jerusalem to go into battle.
Before any battle is fought, God will destroy this invading army with fire. Satan is then cast into the Lake of Fire and Brimstone where he will now join the Antichrist and False Prophet. All three of them will now remain in this place forever and ever and we will never hear from the devil again.

4. The Great White Throne Judgment

All of unsaved humanity is now pulled up out of Hades (Hell) where they will now all stand before God for their final judgment. All of those whose names are not found written in the Book of Life are thrown into the Lake of Fire and Brimstone where they will all remain forever with Satan, the Antichrist and the False Prophet.

5. The New Heaven and New Earth

Our earth and our atmospheric heaven are now done away with, and in its place we will get a new heaven and a new earth. There will no longer be any seas. There will no longer be any night. There will no longer be any sun or moon because the glory of God will be illuminating the earth.
There will no longer be any more death in any way, shape or form. The curse of Adam and Eve will have finally been broken and done away with for good. There will be no more sorrow, pain, crying or weeping. All things will be made new.

God the Father Himself will now come down from heaven and dwell with man forever and ever in this new heaven and new earth. We will also get a new city of Jerusalem which will come down from heaven itself.
This new city will be like a square and possibly 1500 miles wide. The foundations of the walls will be adorned with all kinds of precious stones. There will be 12 gates with an angel at each gate. The gates will be made of solid pearl and the streets will be solid gold.

There shall no longer be any temple as God and Jesus will be the temple Themselves. All the nations of the earth shall walk in Their light and the gates into this city will never be closed.

Now with Satan, all of his demons, and all of the bad and unsaved people taken out of this new heavenly environment, we will now all live happily ever after with God the Father, Jesus Christ, the Holy Spirit, all of God's good angels and all of our saved loved ones in the most perfect God-environment imaginable - with no more pain, sorrow or death ever again!
This is our final end. This is our ultimate destination. Keep your eyes on this final glorious end as we start to approach and enter into these end time events. It will help get you through the fire.
Remember, God will win in the end and so will you if you keep your faith in Jesus Christ through what may be some very difficult times ahead. Jesus Himself has already told us that those who are the overcomers in this life will be the ones to rule the nations of the world with Him in these coming eras.

Closing doors and the Neo-esque wake. By Matthew Scott

2009-09-14T23:09:00.001-05:00

You know those times when we are being pulled towards something bigger than we are and find it frightening and exhilarating all at the same time? That's God and our calling beginning to smack us in the face with our destiny.

As I touched on the other day we often times open and go through doors that were never meant for travel. We enter by either emotion, circumstance or a desperate need for change in our lives.

Sometimes we choose the wrong door and sometimes we get lucky though I hate that term. Truth is the doors that were the wrong ones also mold and shape us through the journey. Sometimes ultimately for the good and often times it hinders us.

As we learn and grow and apply wisdom to our present journey, doors from the past must be completely closed in order for us wholly walk into our full potential. When we have past demons haunting our present we cannot fully see and embrace what God has laid before us. We cannot fully embrace today while the ghosts of yesterday are still with us.

A major key to closing a dark threshold of past is to forgive any offenses from hurtful acquaintances, thus releasing judgment and control and freeing God to heal both parties while severing the unhealthy tie. He cannot do this when we're in the way holding judgment over someone. Nor can we be healed because we basically told Him that we got this and we don't need His omniscient help. Trust me, we do!

We're finite and He's infinite. He sees things from in front, behind, on top, below and so on. We can't see past our own choices. So we really need to put self down and get out of His way and let Him work.

The next and most critical point is something many of us don't consider at all. We must forgive ourselves! The bible says our trespasses can't be forgiven lest we forgive others theirs. This includes ourselves. We are a child of God just like others and again when we judge ourselves we have taken over His role thus negating our receiving forgiveness.

We cannot close the past and open the door to the future lest we forgive and receive forgiveness. If we do not then our todays will be very confused and dismal. My visual eye see's it like the second matrix film where Neo is flying at mach 3 between the buildings, trying to get to Trinity before she hits the ground. He's flying so fast that his wake is carrying cars, trucks and a plethora of other junk he picks up along the way.

This is much like ourselves blazing into tomorrow carrying the junk of yesterday while hoping that when we stop it won't all cataclysmically collide into us. But it always makes contact eventually.

We need to enter the new door fresh, clean and light. Jesus said His burden is light and His yoke is easy. And that The Holy Spirit has not come to put us into another yoke of slavery but to give us life more abundant. If we are heavy and weary that is not from God but from our wake of cars and trucks. Its time to put them down and fly the uncluttered airways.

In forgiveness and love is the only way to cross into the threshold of tomorrow unscathed and with a light burden.

Its time to embrace our purpose and our tomorrows in light of eternity and the pioneering spirit of adventure. Life can be worth living and full of awe and wonder. And speaking from personal experience I've been on both sides of the door. The one that's entered without the wake of chaos behind me is much lighter to walk through.

So forgive yourself, forgive others no matter how great or small the offence, and go through that door knowing that the one to the past is closed for good.

Choices based on emotion and the application of wisdom. By Matthew Scott

2009-09-13T21:01:00.001-05:00

Ever had such a stretch where nothing was going right and nothing was happening at the time? And then out of the blue you have many roads before you in which to choose?

That's where I'm at now. I was utterly lost for direction and now prayers are being answered leaving me with choices.

Choices I'm thankful for mind you but now the possibilities are making me crazy. Its really a catch 22. Now its time to pray for God to close any doors I'm not supposed to go through and for Him to keep open the right ones.

Choices can be tricky because God knows I've made some detrimental ones that in the past that still affect me now, but He has given me grace to accept the mistakes and move on. He also brought much good out of the bad and worked it all to His glory.

But things are different now. I'm looking through a completely different lens at 30 yrs old then I did years ago. Especially after a marriage of 6 yrs ending in divorce. Not the original plan when I said "I Do"!

I don't have the luxury of time to make great mistakes anymore so I must truly evaluate all paths and not make a decision based on emotion or desire. I must choose based on what's best for me not on what "feels" right.

You see emotion is the closest living relative to fire. Fire is neither good nor bad. When used properly it benefits us greatly and when wild and out of control it consumes and devastates everything in its path.

It is hard to not act out of emotion since we live I'm a world that tries to stimulate it from every angle. Especially for those who like myself are naturally more tuned into them due to artistic giftings. We just "feel" everything more as right brained individuals than the left brained, logical and analytical thinkers. Things don't necessarily have to make sense to us because we feel so deeply.

The issue with acting on emotion is that the enemy of our very souls waits for just such moments to try and influence our wills against God's and blind us with confusion and inner conflict which for me has been more violent than any physical war or natural catastrophe. If he can get us there he can keep us from seeing the door surrounded in light. Satan dwells in darkness and that's exactly where he wants us.

If it feels right then do it. Or how can something wrong feel so right? Our flesh is very deceptive and wants physical gratification, but all this is fleeting and but the blink of an eye compared to the things of the spirit and eternity.

If we feed the flesh we get fleshy outcomes and a fleshy life and still have a gaping hole only God can fill. When we feed our spirit man we get lasting and spiritual results.

It is unnatural for us to deny our emotions and we don't always have to but when faced with decisions we must choose without emotion clouding our thoughts.

What is best is to pray that God closes doors that need not be opened and for Him to lead us through the correct ones. We cannot hear Him when we're bombarded with confusion and emotion.

God leads us with peace. Look at the choices before you and ask yourself which one utilizes your strengths, gifts, and God given talents, and which one will glorify His name inso doing. If you can answer that then most likely you will find the peace there that He leads with. Our God is not a god of confusion but of clarity. We however must be still enough inside to hear Him. He's always speaking but are we able to listen? I'm preaching to myself here.

So here is my request. look yourself in the mirror, accept that you've made mistakes like we all do, even if those mistakes have formed your today. See the good that God has given to you out of or despite them. And now look ahead to that choice in front of you no matter how big or small and make the choice based on what you learned from the last mistake and apply that wisdom.

Failure is imminent and necessary for us to attain wisdom and knowledge. And we must attain wisdom and knowledge and apply it for the betterment of ourselves, our children, country and world. So don't focus on the past for that will set us up for failure in the future. Instead be grateful for the experience and look ahead to the amazing things to come.

Awe, thankfulness and a challenge. By Mattew Scott

2009-09-13T05:10:00.001-05:00

By no regard should I be up at the hour of this entry, but I must share my thankfulness and awe of God's loving grace for us.
Just weeks ago I was in a very dark place with stagnancy, hopelessness and many questions on what I'm here to do and honestly why I was still breathing. I've always felt that I had great purpose in this life but as of late just couldn't seem to get things to connect.

In a matter of weeks however He has revealed to me His love. Not just from Him to me and others but He has placed a very unique circle of new and like minded friends in my path. It is rare to have just a few people you can call true friends that you would be willing to take a bullet for.

What is so strange was our immediate connections and our random collisions through circumstances none of us wanted to be in.
We had all taken a low paying, part time job just to get a breath of air and re focus on what we were going to do in focusing the next chapters of our lives.
This is an instance where God worked all things to our good and already more true and lasting relationships with others based on love and relativity have been forged.

We all come from hurt, turmoil, dark and confusing pasts and lifestyles all on completely different ends of the spectrum.

This is the part where true love and empathy for one another has poured out unexpectedly.
In just a few weeks something amazing came out of utter confusion and now our futures are intertwined together for something major.

We've all felt a call to greatness and to reach the masses with our gifts. We all compliment each other with our talents and they are all based in the arts.
Ranging from writing to music to film and on to dance. For whatever reason we were all brought together for such a time as this and hope and direction have been given.

I've had a few people I've called best friends for over 16 yrs and I never had a connection with them as I do these amazing people.

Due to all our lifestyle differences most conventional Christians wouldn't see past the variances and would turn the other way. The amazing thing is that despite the issues we all have a heart and passion for Christ like I've never seen from any staunch hypochristian.

This is the archetype for the very type of relationships Jesus had with His followers.

They all had very shady pasts and were quite the motley crew. But these are the very people that changed the world forever with His gospel. Jesus didn't run with the pharisees and saducees of His day because outwardly they appeared righteous and holy but inwardly they were filthy, judgmental, hard hearted and spiritually dead. They were religious and ritualistic while going through the motions without any regard for anything other than appearing well in the public eye.

Jesus ran with the ones who knew their need for forgiveness. He ran with the ones that knew they were broken and spiritually sick. The humble and those ready for change.

These are the ones that changed the world forever and that great commission continues with us today.

So I choose to be in the company of the broken and the real, the passionate not the passionless, the eccentric not the cancerous.

God has been good to us and we have a mission to continue changing the world one broken soul at a time.

So here is my challenge to you reader: look in the mirror and admit that you too are broken, that you are not perfect and ask yourself what can I do to better myself and help the others around me who are also broken. And then start loving and relating to people and stop judging them. For you will be judged by the measure to which you judge others.

So let us love and honor Your name Father God by loving and honoring those around us regardless of status and let us serve one another in love as Your son Jesus did for us undeserving souls. I thank You for your deliverance and revelation Father.

Your son, Matthew

The trivial process of trancending pain and past. By Matthew Scott

2009-09-13T02:41:00.001-05:00

The Trivial Process of Transcending Pain and Past. (By Matthew Scott Aug 29, 2009).

I have been in a process much like insanity's definition for most of my life. (Doing the same thing over and over hoping for a different outcome). Only problem is the same thing comes in many different forms. I've felt like I've done many different things but it all has led to the same road. Starting over.

I've listened to all the strong and happy Christians I can stomach. Don't get me wrong I am a believer and I believe strongly in the word of God but sometimes we must abide in the darkness at hand and in our pain until we're moved or completely broken.

Ones who are too shallow and ignorant to go deep enough within themselves to find their true self and passions, cannot understand this epiphany.

They give us all their book knowledge and pretty little cliche's and think they are wise. Wisdom is not only attaining knowledge but applying it and sometimes that leads us to wrong choices, but how do we know they are wrong until they sting? When you feel the sting and then don't repeat what caused it a second time you have gained wisdom through experience and applying what was learned.

Sometimes even when were told something will sting or that's its wrong, we still really don't know until we've experienced it. You can give me all the happy and all the tricks to get fixed you want, but the fact that the wounds I have are still gaping, and every day I wake up is more salt being poured in the wound, means you cannot relate to me.

I've met more broken people who have endured much, like myself and those who have been reduced to humble pie. Be it from choice or circumstance I find I'm very fond of these people because I am one of them.

I'm finding that happiness is a trivial pursuit and not guaranteed to anyone. But this constant, driving, cancerous war inside me, pushing me to search and experience will not die.

Where the outcome lies I do not know. Only God does. And I'm not hearing Him well at this time because I'm sure I've allowed the tornado to get louder than the voice of the sparrow in it.

All I can do is continue to purge this passion out of me in one form or another so it doesn't completely die leaving me utterly useless to God or anyone else. Hopefully it will land on good soil eventually.

I wish for death almost daily but yet I'm scared of it as well as living. Not suicidal mind you, but exhausted by this material and self serving world. Ready for the permanant paradigm shift if you will. But my greatest fear is not completeing my purpose in life. Whatever the hell that is.

I cannot settle for the common and mundane but yet I'm thrust into it just to be a part of this socialist society long enough to make a buck that still doesn't cover my expenses, while doing things I hate. I even reduce my expences to cover any financial shift that may occur.

Though I'm know there are purposes for me to be in those environments to reach or connect with someone that will lead to their, or my being helped. I do not discount those scenarios and I tend to look for them. What I'm looking for is solidity. Consistency. I've felt as if I'm a wave being constantly re-directed against my will due to circumstance.

Is something wrong with me because certain things haven't clicked yet? Is there something I do that's different than other people that keeps me from the simple things and finding happiness in those simple things? I don't know what is right anymore. I don't know who to fight anymore. Nor what I'm fighting for. The fight is within me waging mental and spiritual carnage continuously.

I know the common and mundane will not suffice for me. Sometimes I wish it would and that this drive for experience and grand things would leave me at peace. But then I would truly cease to have purpose. Because that un-bridled, un-chained and un-focused passion is all I have that I know makes me feel like me and that I have something that is relatively uncommon which I know has purpose but when will it manifest!?

A man can only strive so hard for something that is barely more than ashes and dust due its unknown purpose. When purpose is revealed then the phoenix emerges from the ash.

I do know this: i'd rather be depressed and melancholy with suppressed passion then happy and ignorant.

With much knowledge comes much pain. More is required of us than common folk because of what we know thus creating more connections and conduits for all kinds of activity, spiritual and happenstance alike.

I say like us regarding to extremely emotional and emphcathetic people with deeper levels of insight, physcally and ethereally.

Usually ths trait comes with artists, musicians and writers. The cosmic joke here is that i personally got all of those gifts. Which is a blessing mind you, but also a curse because i dont know which to pursue more. Which one i'm most passionate about.

I'm frozen at the end of a long journey of pain that's lasted for years. Frozen in a place where the road behind me is at an end and in front of me lies different intersections whose endpoints are unknown. Do I stay frozen until something prompts movement? Do I nuke two of the roads leaving only one that must be traveled? (A form of self destruction and self loathing). Spritually I pray for doors to close that need not be open and visa versa. But this time its not so clear. It may just come down to God just allowing me the choice, blessing which ever road I choose. I've just wasted so much time and life that I cannot afford to waste anymore. I know I've helped people and have helped souls find Christ before passing, to which there is no greater honor. Theres no miracle like seeing a human heart changed befor your eyes. For that I'm truly grateful but I know there is so much more to do and no direction at this time.

Maybe I'm doing it. Maybe my writings will end up with someone it really sings to and they have some great awakening and become the next Billy Graham or whatever. Maybe I won't see my purposes fullfiled in my own perspective but will be shown once I'm gone. If that's the case I just pray The Lord give me the knowledge that I did my part and the ability to die with grace.

I'm blessed to have the ability to start over at thirty and do whatever I want. Most don't get that chance. But after being half of another person for seven years and being solid in your future together, when that abruptly comes to a hault with the loss of an unborn and highly desired child, you tend to loose who you are. You never thought about plan B because plan A was it for you. But even before plan A ended you were completely numb. So escalating the confusion unwrapping and re-creating you. After the life I've lived at 30 I can't imagine another 30 like this. Somethings got to give!

I have been blessed to do and see as much as some one hundred year old men have seen in their entire lives at my young age of 30. Its a very old 30. I'm so tired and exhausted from this worlds demands. I feel beaten and defeated in a barely running car much of the time. And then I have a moment of glory, then back to a rolls-canhardly. lol. And so the cycle repeats.

Those with uncommon perspective and insight see life through rythem and feel, rather then analytics and logic. To us nothing is logical but all has deeper meaning and purpose. Like were in rythem with creation's own heartbeat. And when its heartbeat is wounded due to trauma and mass human idiocy like war and corrupted politics, we feel that energy rift and it effects us emotionally thus producing a manifestation into existence of one form or another of our gifts. But until the gift manifests into physical matration for the given circumstance it is like a cancer eating at us until it surfaces. And occasionaly it drives one of us to madness. Ive seen it happen. Thats why the creative juices must flow. If they cant its like a mental stroke from buildup and the next thing you know your buddy heard a loud pop in his head and now thinks he's a glass of orange juice! Its always pleading for its own life to come out from within but without focus and direction it just stays and eats us alive.

So basically I'm just shedding some light on my inner dealings while doing so hoping for some cleanout and maybe a relative, hey brother we can relate. Sometimes the answers aren't that simple. Sometimes it just appears one day and you wake up and say; when did I get here? Sometimes we have confirmation and clear answers and sometimes we don't. We are all unique as individuals and though we all may have similar thought processes, not one of us really thinks the same. But we all go through. We all endure. We all hurt and cry and we all feel. So in that sense we can understand each other and relate.

This is nothing more than a digital sonar to do just that. Relate. May this rant find you well

Matthew Scott. Aug 29, 2009.

A letter to pure love. By Matthew Scott

2009-09-13T02:29:00.001-05:00

Through trials unspoken and the very fires and torments of hell itself one vision stands untouched. A vision of hope, a vision of life, a
view of heaven beyond the chaos in sight.

Through Christ's unfathomable love and omni-presence He has woven a tapestry of events and meetings and encounters that lead us to the spiritual vibrations sent out from His heavenly sonar drawing us toward the ultimate manifestation of our very purposes and designs blueprints. Drawn together were we from the ripples of other lines intersecting the very core rift of our lives. This path was chosen for us. This path was built before the very foundations of the earth were laid and the first om ever initiated the duality of time and decay. This gift is beyond the touch of finality,beyond the decomposition of what moth and rust can deteriorate.

This is the utmost expression of love which no word can put a limit to.This is the very essence of life itself. All molecules and atoms are envious of this kind of God breathed gift because they are only part of the whole and not the recipients of such a blessing.

Dark forces writhe with vile disgust howling painful bellows with weeping and gnashing of teeth because they believed the lie of the evil one and were eternally robbed of a life such as this. So in their torment expel all vileness and hate amplified by pain toward those beacons shining light in the ethereal.

But the very fires and forces of hell itself could not drag me away from this path so I will storm the rusty gates of hell which read; all ye who pass this way abandon all hope and will blaze a path of hope and light and love which will blind them into submission through Christ our eternal Father. This path is life.This path is peace. This path will not be taken lightly but with all feverous fervor my very spirit can summon. This path is rarely traveled and seldom completed in peace and sanity.

But if Christ is for us then who can be against us? In Him forward motion is as fluid as the waters after the storm has passed. My souls longing and internal reeling has been found.

A dream only dreamed and thought unattainable now manifest in the ultimate oneness and purest expression of love, peace, hope, light and childlike wonder. This path I've found I will build on forever more, this path no longer frustrated by a closed door but found with an open invitation to taste the heavenly feast set before us. This path, this hope, this love...I've found in you!

You have become the very makeup of completion in my soul .And for that I will spend a lifetime and then some paying it forward to you!

Why are we so afraid of change? By Matthew Scott

2009-09-13T00:41:00.001-05:00

In looking at humanity and our crippling emotions a question arises.

Why are we so afraid of change?

We tend to stay in a place of comfort because it's familiar even at the expense of true happiness. We've all been there or are there now in one way or another.

The problem with this is that if change doesn't come we never grow. We become stagnant and pretty much useless. Sometimes we need to take a chance despite the scariness and the possible outcomes. Yes we may lose some things, yes we may hurt some people without meaning to but if we really aren't happy then we are already hurting them because we are just building a
bigger wall of illusion and extending and enhancing the pain that may come for both parties relationally speaking.

We tend to settle for things because of where we may be at a given time and due to certain circumstances. Yes change is scary. Yes change can be painful and confusing but it's all a part of growing.

Our bones hurt as we're growing when we're children and so it is when we are being pruned and purging out the old to be able to receive the new. Some of the old things may remain in one form or another and that is fine as long as they don't hinder us from moving forward and hold us in the past negating the future.

We are given glimpses of heaven from time to time and sometimes it shows up in people. These people are brought to us at specific times for specific reasons at a specific point. Some of these meetings come with signs, prophecies and confirmations. Especially when preceded by prayer. When these things come we must truly question our entire existence and question who we are and what we really want and what God wants from us.

To not question and analyze everything is to pretty much die and say whatever happens happens. Without the above mentioned scenario's, we need to take a good look at our lives and the condition of our spirits at all times because death and spiritual cancer can come upon us and fully infect us before we even know were sick. This is why it's so important we constantly check our beings. We are given one life and a purpose and to not seek whether or not we are walking toward life or death is to be dead already and we have handed our lives to chance.

We are always asking for advice and seeking everyone else's opinion for validation and to feel better about ourselves. We need to be in a spot where we are comfortable in our own skin and hearing our own mind. We go go go and do do do so we don't have to stop and face ourselves for who we really are. There will be good things and bad thing found within that may scare us to our core but we must face them or we will be nothing more then souless clones. Acquisitions of other peoples traits and personalities all meshed together in a nice don't want to piss anyone off type of package.

Here's the thing: we cant be all things to all people. We will hurt people. We wont always be agreed with And we won't always say or do things that everyone approves of. That's called being an individual and a human. We are all hypocrites on one level or another. We need to embrace who we are with the good and the bad and be able to love and forgive ourselves. The bible says our trespasses will not be forgiven lest we forgive others theirs. We don't think about this but that includes forgiving ourselves!

By not forgiving ourselves we are in a state of self loathing and we are basically saying that God is a liar and that He has not forgiven us when we ask Him to. He said: repent and I will remember your sins no more. I will cast them as far as the east is from the west and into the deepest depths of the sea.

So may we embrace change. May we forgive and love ourselves. May we come to know who we are and what we were made for and may we intake life for all that it was meant to be and live in light of eternity!

Perception. By Matthew Scott

2007-03-03T22:14:00.000-06:00

Lord, help me to understand why people have lost their sense of purpose, their desire to do more and the will to change! I am often a passerby swimming in this sea of blindness while ingaging my thoughts as to what the heck is wrong with everyone around me! Smalltalk and useless conversations, sub-primordial communication at its finest. Slangs, mutilated words, pop culture popping God out of everything. Pants around ankles, hats upside down, left or right, say man, that's tight! Idols now come with 26 inch wheels, video screen for every part of your life anyone? How about a plazma TV on the fridge? I know, I pod. Replace God? Seriously folks, are we really in the matrix? People talk all day but don't say a word. Oh lost and fallen generation! Wake o sleeper, rise from the dead and Christ will shine on you. Playstation 3? Not for me! Communication is a gift and a curse. When used for Gods glory or with eloquence its a beutiful thing. When it goes the way of the norm it just goes to show the true idiocy level in this world! Anyone drowning yet? I am! People speaking in accents not they're own, trying to squeeze into the present environment of multi-cultural mish-mash instead of facing one's self for the truth of who they really are. Let's just fade into the frey, yea that's the answer! Let's just not face ourselves for the monsters we really are! Instead let's become the fake overpublicized image of what's cool for the day. Oh yea, and parents, let's let our ten year old daughters get fake tans and wear make up and look just like the slutyest pop tramp in the mainstream media. That way they won't be mad at you because you allowed them to slide right on into worldlyness and taught them no consequence for action. So when they do get pregnant or aids at 14 you won't be suprised! Right? What about raped? Suprised? You shouldn't be. Afterall this is the product of your upbringing! What about your boys, parents? Maybe with all those violent video games and unmonitered TV they can become the worlds best rapeist or murderer! Have you even taken the time to see what's taking place in those games? Or seen the anti-humanistic agenda they promote? Some games use sex to get energy and rapes and murders for bonus points! But you already knew that! People driven to crime for they're own lack of prayer. They say its because of the hand they've been dealt. I say its because they never surrendered to God and knealt! People I am coming to you as one with the heart of a prophet, not affraid to call it as I see it. I am not trying to anger anyone, I am only trying to bring awareness to those who may not have experienced the daily darknesses that are around us at all times. Awareness is key to spiritual survival. If we don't know what is attacking our core we don't know how to react, so we don't because we don't see a problem! Our perception needs to change. Jesus help us to see this world and the things of it for what they really are!

2007-03-03T19:32:00.001-06:00

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The Sequence of Endtime Events

Main Events That Will OccurBefore the Tribulation

1. Restoration of the State of Israel

2. Miscellaneous Signs

3. Rise of the Antichrist, False Prophet and a 10 Nation Confederacy From Which They Will Rule This Earth From.

4. Rise of the City of Babylon

5. Russia and Her Allies Will Invade Israel. God Will Then Supernaturally Destroy This Invading Army.

Main Events That Will Occur During the 7 Year Tribulation

1. The Antichrist Establishes a Peace Treaty and a Covenant with Israel

2. The Jewish Temple is Rebuilt

3. God's Counterbalances:

4. The Antichrist Will Destroy the City of Babylon

5. A War in Heaven Breaks Out

6. The Abomination of Desolation

7. The 7 Seal Judgments

8. The 7 Trumpet Judgments

9. The 7 Bowl Judgments

10. The Battle of Armageddon

Main Events That Will OccurAfter the Tribulation

1. The Second Coming of Jesus

2. The Millennium Kingdom

3. Satan is Let Loose One More Time

4. The Great White Throne Judgment

5. The New Heaven and New Earth

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Perception. By Matthew Scott

Main Events That Will Occur
Before the Tribulation

Main Events That Will Occur
During the 7 Year Tribulation

Main Events That Will Occur
After the Tribulation